Don't leave me alone

A couple of days have passed since I shared my mind with Wanda. I am getting used to her presence in my room. The only time she leaves is to go to the toilet and to get some food. Most of the time she eats in my company, and she tries to get me to accept some of the food she offers me. I always refuse but one time she actually got me to accept. It had been some kind of potatoes, I always loved potatoes, cold with some white sauce around it. Wanda told me it was called mayonnaise. I see Shuri daily when she checks up on me, and other members of the Avengers have visited. Natasha said hi to me every day, I noticed that even though she was distant she did care about me in her own way. Clint often joined Natasha on her visits and while he had a very warm and brotherly vibe, Natasha was the one who respected my space the most. I've developed the habit of talking to Wanda with my mind when people ask me things and she has taken on the role of being my translator. Natasha realized this very quickly and after not even 5 minutes she started asking her questions to me, and then looked at Wanda, waiting for my reply. Both of the women were starting to get a place in my heart. The guy with blond hair and blue eyes, that had been there when Natasha and Wanda saved my life, has also visited me. It turned out his name was Steve Rogers. He looked like this guy I saw in magazines when I was a child, "Captain America", picture perfect with a dream smile. Well I think he is ugly. He is nothing compared to Wanda. I absolutely love her green eyes, they are like emeralds. Her brown hair flows over her shoulder, perfect without her having to do anything about it. She has this gorgeous smile on her face, and her hands are so soft and so caring… She is always so careful when she touches me and never does it without permission. But the strangest visit I have had was from a talking raccoon. He walked into the room, nagging about the fact that he had to leave his guns behind. Wanda explained to him that it was so it wouldn't trigger me and he accused her of being too over protective. "You know Wanda, she is not a scared little kitten lost in the woods. And even if she was, she needs to learn to protect herself. And what better way to protect yourself than with big old guns, huh?" Natasha had grinned when she heard the raccoon's protest, but Wanda just gave him a dismissive look.

Right now I am sitting up in my bed and Wanda is sitting on a chair next to me. She is laughing with a silly joke I made in my mind, and my heart flutters a little bit hearing that laugh. I smile at her, she makes me feel at ease. There is a knock on the door and Shuri enters the room. "Good morning Lidiya, did you sleep well?" No. I am still having nightmares every time I close my eyes, and every night I wake up covered in sweat with Wanda shaking me awake. I shrug, and from the corner of my eye I can see Wanda softly shake her head towards Shuri. The young woman walks towards my bed, she always has an energetic skip in her step. She looks into my eyes, checking my pupils. When this is done she listens to my heart, my lungs, and she checks the vitals on the screen. "I have some good news for you Lidiya. You are still far from healed and I am not done with you yet, but you can go and shower yourself. When you are clean I'm sure it will help you feel better. When you are done with your shower, if you want to you can walk around in this wing for a short time." Why only in this wing, I immediately think, feeling scared. What if there are also prisoners here, hidden away from people like me? Wanda looks at me, holding out her hand so I can take it. She gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry milyy. The reason why you can only stay in this wing right now is because that way you are close enough to the infirmity in case something goes wrong. There are no prisoners here, I promise. Everybody in this compound is here willingly." I have the feeling there is something she is not telling me. She senses my doubt. "Truth." I softly croak, talking is still hard and it still hurts. She looks at me for a moment, Shuri standing there awkwardly. "I am telling the truth Lidiya. Well, almost. Sometimes we do have prisoners, but not in the way you mean. When we are on missions to catch the bad guys, guys like Strucker, and we manage to catch them they need to be imprisoned so they can't hurt people anymore. They spend one or two nights in this compound, locked up, until the army arrives to transfer them into military custody." I think about her words for a second, she is right, those are different kind of prisoners. "No kill?" I ask them. Shuri and Wanda both shake their heads. "We never kill unless we don't have any other choice." The black haired woman tells me. "And by that I mean if it's kill or be killed, or if they are on the edge of killing someone else or using a device that will harm the world. Only then we kill. But we will always try to prevent it." This reassures me. "So how do you feel about that shower?" I smile, I can't remember the last time I had a proper shower, it was always used as a punishment. I have to admit that I am also a little scared, but I don't want to give in to that feeling. Wanda removes the scarf from my wrist that I have kept on since Natasha had put it there, and I can't help but feel a little empty with it's pressure gone.

Wanda and Shuri both take one of my wrists and help me get up. The stand with bags full of fluids follows me, rolling on the floor. The white hospital robe I am wearing falls to my knees, and for the first time I notice how much taller Wanda is than me. She has to look down to be capable of looking in my eyes, but it doesn't bother me. After taking a couple of steps, I push away their hands and try to walk on my own. I don't have a lot of power in my legs but I am not going to give in to that, my legs will just have to get used to walking again. Wanda opens one of the doors in my room, this leads to a bathroom. It's bigger than my living area was when I was a child and it looks extremely fancy and high tech. Wanda helps me into the bathroom and smiles at me. "I will leave you to it, you will probably want your privacy. If you need anything just call out to me and I'll be with you within a second." I nod and Wanda leaves the room. I'm alone and this makes me anxious. I can see a mirror hanging over the bedroom cabinet, and slowly I walk towards it. I have no idea how I look, and I don't know what to expect. When I see my reflection, I bring my hand up to cover my mouth. My blue eyes are dark and I have dark circles around them. I am skinny. Well, skinny is an understatement… I am emaciated. My pale is unbelievable pale, and my hair… I used to have beautiful brown hair, it reached below my shoulders and was wavy. My mother loved putting me between her legs while she combed my hair, and I loved this little mother and daughter time. But there was nothing left of my beautiful hair. Yes, it was still brown, but it was filthy, dull and completely tangled. It nearly reaches my butt but I assume that to get it some kind of healthy again, you will have to cut off almost all of it. I raise my hand to touch my throat. Raw, red skin is on the place where Strucker has kept the collar on all these years. I can see multiple bruises and wounds on my arms and legs, and scars cover almost every inch of me.

Doubtful I look at the shower. It's very big and it has a lot of space, and I can see a lot of rotary knobs on it. When I was a child and I had to be washed, my mother threw a bucket of water over me and scrubbed every inch until I was clean again. She didn't mean to hurt me but we just didn't have any other options. I step out of the hospital gown, this being quite a challenge, and get into the shower. I refuse to look at myself naked, I don't want to see it. I pull the stand inside and close the door, after which I turn around to look at the knobs. I honestly have no idea what they do, so I just turn a couple of them around until I find one that that actually starts the water. The water is absolutely freezing cold. It hurts, it hurts so much and I fall to the floor. It's as if hundreds of knifes are stabbing me, in and out of my skin again. I scream, all I can feel is pain and it's coming from all sides. I pull the tubes out of my hand, trying to get the unsustainable pain to stop. Wanda! I think. Wanda…! I scream again, until I can feel strong arms pull me out of the shower.

Wanda is the one pulling me out of the shower, and she puts my head on her lap. I just lay there, crying, and every time my breath falters she softly squeezes me. She starts murmuring a Russian lullaby, I recognize it and slowly I let her voice calm me down. "What happened, milyy?" she asks. I shudder as I remember the pain on my skin. "Water…" I whisper. She tilts her head and examines my face. "What is wrong with the water?" I shudder: "Cold." You can barely hear the words coming over my lips, but I know that she hears them. "Did the cold water hurt you?" I start crying, I need her to understand that it's not just the typical 'it's too cold' pain. I link my mind with hers, it feels like a second nature by now, and share the pain I felt a couple of minutes ago with her. I can feel her wince, she will understand now. "Lidiya." I look into her eyes. "Do you have another power, besides telepathy?" I just look at her, my thoughts raging through my head. I trust her, but do I trust her enough to tell her the truth? I don't want to be used as a test subject again. But at the same time I know that if I don't tell her, don't tell them, she won't be able to help me and I will never get better.

I send her an image of a raging fire, it's out of control and it's destroying everything in its path. Then you can see me, small little me, walking into it. My skin gets the glowing-from-the-inside redness and my eyes have an orange glow over them. I don't get hurt, the fire makes way for me as I walk deeper inside of it. I move my arm and you can see the fire moving away, following my movements. I inhale and it's as if the fire consumes me, it enters my body and after a while all the fire is gone. I walk towards a candle now, touch the lit and fire springs from my fingers, lighting it.

Slowly I turn back to my own body and I let Wanda go. I don't know what to expect when I look at her, but it definitely isn't her face radiating with amazement. "You can control fire?!" She asks excitedly. I nod. I open my hand and let a tiny flame spring from my hands. It just hangs there, waiting for me telling it what to do. I close my eyes and concentrate really hard. With my mind I turn it into a replica of Wanda. She gasps when she sees it. "This is absolutely amazing, Lidiya." Shyly I smile, I can't help but feel a little proud. She strokes my hair and gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. "That's the reason why cold water hurts?" "Yes…" I whisper. She understands… I knew she would. She pushes me up straight, wipes the hair from me face and looks into my eyes. "Let me help you, Lidiya. Let me help you shower, I promise I will make sure that nothing hurts you." For a minute I just think about her proposal, I test her emotions but the only thing I can feel is honestly. I look towards the shower. "Yes, please help me."