Free to go

A couple of days have passed since I had my panic attack in the shower. I didn't think it was possible, but Wanda is spending even more time with me then before. It's as if she never leaves, but you won't hear me complain about that. Every day I fall in love with her presence a little bit more. She is absolutely amazing, somehow she manages to make me laugh even when I just get snapped out of one of my nightmares. It's as if these eyes of her just stare into my soul, and I guess that in some ways they do. Linking my mind with hers feels like a second nature by now, I don't even have to try anymore. This one girl named Mantis had visited me two days ago, she has these antennas on her head and I think it's absolutely one of the most badass things ever. Her special power is that when she touches you she can feel your feelings. When she touched me however and started talking out loud about my warm and fuzzy feelings towards the brown haired beauty, I pulled back and Wanda had almost died from laughter. Mantis didn't seem to get what all the fuzz what about though, which made the situation even more funny. Wanda has explained to me that almost every one of the Avengers has some special powers, or uses technology to do things otherwise impossible. Each and every one of them was considered a hero, and the only goal they had was to keep humanity safe. Well, actually it went beyond humanity. I guess the most correct thing to say would be, to keep the galaxy safe. When Natasha was here on her daily visit yesterday I had asked her more about the Avengers. She kept quiet and just stared in front of her. Just when I thought she would ignore me, she turned her head to me and said: "We're a family. That's the only way to describe it. Each and every one of us has been through trauma, some more than the others. But we found a family with each other. I was never one to trust someone else to have my back, I always learned to rely only on myself and my own skills. But I know that I can trust all of these guys with my life and they would never betray my trust. And we would love it if you joined out family, made out of freaks and outsiders." After saying this she had turned around and left the room, leaving me speechless. Wanda had grabbed my hand and gave it a soft squeeze, smiling at me. That was the first time she had touched me without asking permission and honestly… I didn't mind.

Shuri enters the room with a guy, who looks extremely shy and taken back. "Ah, Bruce, decided to come along?" Wanda asks. The man who is called Bruce smiles: "Hi Wanda, yes. When Shuri told me that Lidiya is starting to get better I wanted to come and introduce myself." He takes a couple of steps in my direction and holds out his hand. "Hi there Lidiya, my name is Bruce Banner. I'm a medical doctor and a scientist, my expertise is gamma radiation. It's really nice to meet you and it makes me very glad to see that you are better than the day I met you." For a moment I just stare at him, and then very slowly I go and shake his hand. Wanda gives me a warm and encouraging smile. "I'm… My name is Lidiya." I tell him. It's still hard to talk and I still tend to reside on talking to Wanda with my mind, but she has been helping me practice. Bruce looks at me as if I am the most interesting and amazing thing he has seen in years. Maybe I am. "Yeah uhm Bruce, you forgot to mention the part that because of your gamma radiation test going kaboom you went all arrghhhhh! Green and angry." Shuri says and laughs with her own joke. Bruce looks a bit taken back and I can't help but feel sorry for him. "You're the hulk?" I ask. He nods. "I am, but the last couple of years I have really learned how to make peace with it. We learned how to work together. I don't want to hurt people, and definitely not by accident." I respect him for feeling that way. Being with him feels very comfortable, more than when the Steve guy visits. "I'm scared." I tell him. Wanda hears me and she is immediately there to give me a comforting hug, while Shuri keeps to herself, acting as if she is very busy with the screen. "From me?" He asks with a sad face. "No!" He keeps quiet, waiting for me to continue. I am trying to find the words but I can't and this frustrates me. "Talk to me, milyy." Wanda sends me. "I don't know the words." "Show me." I show her the image of me creating fire in my hands, and not being capable of controlling it. I show her the fire burning its way through everything and hurting the people who have cared for me these last couple of weeks. "She is afraid that when she starts practicing her powers, she will lose control and hurt us." Wanda tells him. For a moment he looks confused until he makes the conclusion that Wanda must have read my mind. "And she reads mine." She replies to his thoughts. "Wait, so… Lidiya is also a mind reader?" He can't hide his excitement and I think it's funny to see the man this way. I nod. "This is absolutely amazing!" He paces around the room. "We have never met another telepath besides Wanda! I wonder if there are more things that you guys have in common. Wait, Wanda you were talking about Lidiya being scared of losing control of her powers. Do you mean the mind reading?" Bruce looks confused and Wanda and Shuri laugh. "No, I mean the fact that she can start fire out of her hands and can control it so it does what she wants." Bruce his mouth almost drops to the floor. "A fire starter?! This is absolutely amazing. I have never seen anyone like you Lidiya, I wonder if I can do some tests later on? Getting data on this really is a dream come true!" I know he doesn't mean to harm me and that he is not a bad guy, but immediately I cringe. My heartbeat goes up and I pull my legs up to my chest, softly rocking myself. No tests, no tests… It doesn't take long before Wanda catches up with the change in my emotions. She sits down on the bed and pulls my head to her lap, combing her fingers through my hair. "Bruce, stop." Her voice is resolute and Bruce immediately stops in his tracks. He turns around and sees the damage he has done without intending it. "There will be no tests done on Lidiya. She has been through more than enough and nobody will ever touch her again without her permission." Her eyes are glowing red, just as they were the day she had saved me. Bruce holds out his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry Lidiya, it was not my intention to make you upset. I will never do anything that you don't want to do, I promise. I should have thought about what I was saying, but I have the habit of talking first and thinking afterwards." He gives me a sheepish grin. "Bruce, even after it comes out of your mouth you don't think." Shuri jokes. I know he means well and he didn't want to hurt my feelings, but I just crawl closer to Wanda and hide my face against her belly. "I'm here." "I'll… I'll go. I'm very sorry Lidiya, know that if there is anything you need you can always come to me." He turns around and leaves the room.

Shuri coughs so she can get our attention again. "Well that was awkward, wasn't it? However, I am going to disconnect the tubes from your body Lidiya. It gave you the first help you much needed, but now you need to let your body do the work itself. You have to eat, sleep, and get better. And I think you will feel a lot more comfortable when you are in your own room instead of in this hospital bed." I look at her and my mouth falls open. "My… my own room?" I have never had a room to call my own. Well that is if you don't count the cell that I had, but I didn't feel like counting that as an own room. I look at Wanda and then back at Shuri with big eyes. Wanda gives me the smile that gives me butterflies in my belly. "Yes, of course. As long as you want to stay here with us, you will have your own room. I can help you with getting used to your powers. I don't have the same ones but I think they are close enough for me to understand. Natasha has offered to help you with your physical training." "However…" Shuri interrupts "I don't think it's smart to start that training immediately. Take a couple of days settling in, get to know the family and give your body more time to heal. Eat enough, sleep enough, and play pranks on the team members." I tilt my head as I look at Shuri, I don't understand why I would need to do that last part. Shuri sees my confused face and laughs. "Because pranking them is funny, and funny things make you laugh. And I know that Wanda loves it when you laugh." Wanda her cheeks get a red color before she turns her head away from me. I can't help but feel happy when I hear this and I push myself closer to her stomach. She feels safe. "Now if you sit up Lidiya, I can remove the tubes from your hand and you are free to go." I feel excited and scared at the same time. Wanda helps me sit up straight, and it only takes Shuri a minute before removing everything so I am completely free. "Can I do whatever I want now?" I ask. Wanda nods at me. "However, I would recommend putting on some other clothes then this hospital gown." I laugh, but then realization hits me that I have nothing to wear. "I've got you." Wanda replies to my thoughts. She waves her right hand and red clouds appear from them, going through the door and going out of sight. After a minute of two the cloud comes back and it's carrying a bundle of clothes. "You can use some of mine, if you want to of course." I quickly nod. "Yes Wanda, thank you." Shuri points towards the bathroom. "You can change in the bathroom, then I will do one last check up and after that you are free to go." I stand up and walk towards the bathroom, but halfway I stop in my steps. "What's wrong baby?" Wanda asks. I look at her, she is still sitting on the bed, and I send her a message. "Can you please help me?" She nods and gets up. "Of course milyy, it's my pleasure."

She joins me in the bathroom and closes the door after herself. I look at the ground, suddenly a shy nine year old girl again. "What's wrong Lidiya?" she lifts my chin so I look into her eyes. I'm aware of her standing so close to me that our lips are almost touching. I can smell her breath and I can see the little dots in her green eyes. No, there is no way someone as gorgeous as her would be into someone as ugly as me. I pull myself together and turn away from her. "I haven't dressed myself since I was nine…" I whisper, embarrassed of how much help I need. A single tear falls down my cheek. "Hey, it's okay milyy. I promised to help you in whatever way I can and I will. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. They did this to you, they are the ones who should look away in shame. Not you." She opens her arms for me, offering me the comfort of a hug, and I go for it. I let her scent embrace me and I let her presence carry me away from all the negative thoughts in my head. After holding me for a while, she pulls back and gives me a kiss on my forehead. "Now let's get going. I got you some black yoga pants, I think that will be the most comfortable thing for now. I have some socks, some underwear and a red t-shirt. I didn't get you a bra because I don't know what size you have but we will look for that as soon as possible. Some shoes, oh and a nice red sweater to keep you warm." I feel grateful, Wanda has been doing so much for me and still she does even more. "Thank you."I whisper, love filling my voice. She helps me out of the hospital gown and I stand there, naked in front of her. Her eyes go over me and stop at my ribcage, a sadness filling her. Her hands go over my stomach, over the side of my body. I know that the only thing she can feel are bones with almost no skin covering them. I was always a skinny girl, that happens when you grow up in a country that is at war, but it is nothing compared to how I am looking now. "I'm so sorry." She whispers to me. "We will get your body back on track, I promise. There are tons of tasty food and I am sure we will find things that you like." "I want to try your favorite dish." I smile at her. "Deal. Now hold your hands up." I do as she says and she slips the t-shirt over my head. It's too big, as expected, but wearing real and clean clothes again for the first time in years feels heavenly. She lets me lean on her shoulder while I put on my pants. After that I sit down on the toilet and she helps me getting the socks and the shoes on. When we are finished I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. After my crash in the shower Natasha had cut my hair. She told me to trust her and that she has experience with it. "I've been undercover hundreds of times and I've always done my hair all by myself. I got this." That is why when I look into the mirror the face looking back at me is completely strange, but I have to admit that she looks better than a couple of days ago. My hair is shoulder lenght, Natasha managed to safe some of it, and I am actually wearing real clothes again. I turn around to face Wanda and smile at her. "Let's go."