Restart

"Never." Wanda her voice is clear and steady. "I will never let you die, I promise." I'm too weak to do anything beside cry. Neither Natasha or Clint have let go of me and I know that this is a battle I can't win, not with Wanda and Carol in the room. "You're going to take me back." I whisper, staring into Wanda's green eyes. "Never." I want to believe her but I can't. How can I when she has just hurt me like that. "It wasn't me moy lyubov'. You were having hallucinations." "No…" I whisper back. There is no way that what I had seen and felt wasn't real. "No." My voice is louder, I know that they are lying. "I don't believe you! You left me in the dark!" The last words I scream and panic holds my throat. The door opens and I can see Gregovich enter the room, holding shackles. He smiles his disgusting smile at me, yellow teeth showing. I scream and try to crawl back, which is impossible with Nat and Clint their grip on my arms. My feet kicks towards him as he approaches me but being held like this there is not much I can do. "Let me go!" I scream, during all these years as a prisoner I've never tried fighting them as hard as I am doing now. "Poor 507, did you really think these people care about you? Of course not." He laughs and is only a couple of steps away from me at this point. "Ivanov please calm down, Shuri just wants to give you a new IV." Natasha says to me but this is just more prove that all of them are liars, because there is no Shuri to be seen. I try to get out of their grip but it's pointless of course, and driven by fear I look around the room. I can see Hydra scientists and at the other side of the room I recognize Carol. "Carol, help me, please!" I beg, not being capable of keeping the fear out of my voice. Gregovich puts a hand on my leg, I know that he will force them open so he can take what he wants. "Please don't let him touch me, I don't want it anymore! PLEASE DON'T LET HIM RAPE ME AGAIN!" The last words are screams, and immediately Wanda her eyes turn red again. Her fingers are against my temples once more and it doesn't even take a second before she's in, I have no power left in me for mental barriers. "Radi yebli (for fucks sake)!" She says when she finally sees what I see. "Shuri get back, Lidiya thinks you're someone from her past!" Immediately Gregovich takes a step back, which is very unusual behavior for him. He has never cared about whether he was hurting me so why would he now. I'm shaking and freezing, crying uncontrollably. "Lidiya please look at me." Slowly I turn to face Wanda, scared about what's going to happen next. "Please don't hurt me. Please don't take me back there. I'll be good, I promise. I'll be good!" Whispers leave my mouth but she can hear them. "I won't Lidiya, I won't. I'm going to fix this, I promise. Now rest." Immediately after she says the last word my world goes dark and I can feel myself slip into the most peaceful nothingness I have had in weeks.

"I never should have left, none of these things would have happened if I had stayed." "It's not like you just left her Wanda, you had to go on a mission. They didn't really give you much of a choice." "It doesn't matter Nat, I could have prevented this just by being here. I'll never forgive myself for putting her through this." It's quiet for a moment. "You are not the one who put her through this Maximoff, her past is." An emotionless laugh. "What does it matter? She had already been through hell and we just ripped it wide open again, she has been living all of her past together at once." "What do you mean?" "The mental and physical exhaustion, the lack of food and sleep, it's what triggered the hallucinations. They all came together. The death of her parents, the experiments, the rape, the abuse… She was living it all over again. I should have been here to help her Nat, to protect her, to prevent this. How can I ever earn her trust again…" "You will Maximoff, you have no blame here. You are still the one she trusts, when the hallucinations get less she will feel it again. You have to have faith in her Wanda, she can do this. You can do it together." I don't want to hear it anymore, and an irritation in my throat makes me cough. "Lidiya?" I can feel a weight on my bed, and a soft hand touches mine. "It's me, it's Wanda." Slowly I open my eyes, squeezing them a little bit because of the bright lights. Her face comes into focus and I can see Natasha standing behind her, with the most vulnerable expression I have ever seen on her face. "Is it okay if I touch your hand?" Wanda asks, pointing towards the fact that she's holding it. I look at her hand entwined with mine, look at her rings covering her fingers. Slowly I nod and look back at her. "It's okay." A single tear rolls down Wanda her cheek and it breaks my heart. Softly I wipe it away with my free hand, covering her cheek when I'm done. Looking into her green eyes, filled with more emotion then I have ever seen before. I blink and look around, expecting Strucker or Gregovich to pop up. "They are not here." I can hear Wanda whisper and I turn my attention back to her. In the background I can see Natasha leave the room, leaving the two of us alone. "Where are they?" I softly ask with a broken voice. She gives me a smile filled with only pain, and her other hand covers the one that's on her cheek. "They were never here Lidiya, all of them were hallucinations. I know it's hard to believe me when I tell you this, but I promise you I'm only telling the truth." I take a moment to let her words sink in, I want to believe her, of course I want to. She's my anchor. "If it wasn't real, how come I could feel it?" I ask her with a raspy voice. For a moment she closes her eyes, letting my words sink in. "Your body was breaking down malysh, the pain you felt was your own body destroying you." Malysh, the familiar term of endearment hits me right in my heart. Quiet tears fall on the sheets. "You didn't hurt me?" Wanda opens her eyes and looks into mine, I can see a hint of red shining behind them. "Never malysh, never." I can feel the connection between the two of us rekindle when she asks me for permission to enter. When she's in she shows me everything she has seen, she lets me feel the truth in her words.

I'm sitting next to Natasha, still shocked about the fact that Lidiya has removed me from the room with force, when the alarm goes off. It's a high shrieking sound and immediately I panic. Natasha and I jump up at the same time and run towards the hospital wing, there is no need for communication. We arrive in front of Lidiya's room only a second later than Shuri and Carol do. I can see that somehow the door is on fire without actually consuming it, but Shuri confirms that it's fire alright. "I can't get through, Carol can you..." A scream interrupts Shuri and it sends shivers down my spine. Without thinking I throw one of my scarlet shields over me and open the door. I can feel the heat of the fire lick on my shield but it's covering me the way it should. Immediately I can see Lidiya lying on the ground, the tubes that were supposed to be in her body have clearly been ripped out and are hanging there useless. Another scream escapes her lips and I can see her lashing out at herself with her nails, as if she wants to rip her own veins out. I drop to the floor in front of her, ignoring the pain that curses through my knees. "Lidiya!" I yell, trying to get through to her. But Lidiya holds out her hands and recoils. "Go away!" She screams and hearing her say this absolutely breaks my heart. I try to push it aside and ignore it, she needs me right now. I get a little bit closer and this causes her to start screaming with an unnatural sound. Desperately I look around me and can see that Carol managed to get part of the fire under control, creating an opening for people to get in the room. Shuri runs towards the computer screen and Natasha drops on the floor next to me. Carol continues with the fire, and Clint is the last one entering the room before I can see Daisy taking a stand in the opening, preventing the room from being flooded by people who want to help but will only create more problems. I put my attention back on Lidiya and can see her lying in front of me, completely broken. Her eyes are wide open and scared, sweat is dripping down her neck and she's shaking. I get closer to her and put my hands on her temples, I need to get inside of her to show her that she's safe, that we won't hurt her. I don't know what is happening to the love of my life but I can't handle seeing her suffer like this. Immediately I'm met by barriers that prevent me from entering her mind space. "Lidiya it's me, let me help you!" I call out desperately, how can I help her when she's not letting me near her. I'm not sure what I expect to happen next but it's definitely not her lashing out at me. It's disoriented and clumsy so it's easy for me to dodge it but why on earth would she do this to the people she knows and trusts. There's only one thing I can do and it breaks my heart, but I need to get into her mind one way or another. "Natasha, hold her back!" Natasha does as I say and grabs Lidiya's arms, pulling them back hard as to prevent her from lashing out again. It breaks my heart in thousands of pieces. I can see Lidiya trying to lash out once more but thank god Nat has a good grip, she pushes Lidiya with her stomach onto the floor. I hate doing this to her, but what other options do we have? Once again I place my hands against her temples and even though I'm met with her barriers I push through, I need to get inside of her. The moment I can feel myself getting through she releases an animalistic sound. Immediately I'm met with the panic and absolute terror that fills Lidiya her body. I can see Strucker standing here in her room, doing tests on her. I can see Gregovich using her body over and over again, just like he used to do when she was a prisoner. I see a small boy filled with bullet holes and immediately I skip this view, it reminds me too much of Pietro. And then I see… me. I can see myself dragging her out of her bed by her hair and hitting her in the face. I can hear myself say the most cruel words to her, words that I would never even think about. It doesn't take long before I realize what's been going on. Knowing what Natasha told me, the lack of food and sleep she has been having combined with me leaving her behind, it's just adding one and one. Her body has been creating hallucinations, her mind has been recreating past memories together with new ones. I should have stayed with her, I could have prevented this. I put my focus back on the room and on what's happening around of me. "She's having hallucinations!" I announce to the people who can hear me. "Help me!" Lidiya screams and she tries to get out of Natasha's grip, which is pointless of course. I understand why, she's convinced about the fact that we are going to send her back to Strucker. I send Natasha a mental message, sharing this with her. I know that the only thing that will be capable of calming down the hallucinations is getting her to sleep, and it breaks my heart. "Shuri, get me a sedative! Carol, get that fire under control!" The fire gives us a very small area to work with, and I know that I need to get all the way inside her head so I can try to pull the hallucinations out. "Just stop…" Lidiya her voice is a whisper and ignoring her hurts me more than anything else. "Natasha, keep holding her, I need to get these hallucinations out of her head." I need to try… "Clint, please help Nat." Clint takes place next to the widow and takes over one of Lidiya's arms, that way it's easier to contain her. "Shuri we need to get food inside of her, so get some tube food because if she's not going to eat something soon it's only going to get worse." I don't need to be a doctor or a scientist to know this. I try working on entering every corner of Lidiya's mind, and very slowly I can feel it getting a little bit easier. A little bit. "You need to get her back on the bed so I can put a new IV in her." Shuri says. I get up but keep contact with Lidiya, this way being capable of moving around without interrupting the people picking her up. Natasha signs Carol and Daisy to come help her. "Clint, Carol, Daisy, at the count of three. One, two…" When Natasha reaches three all four of them pick Lidiya up, they have to turn her around so she lies with her back on the bed. When they put her down Natasha and Clint immediately get a hold of her arms again, preventing her from leaving the bed. Carol goes back to fighting the fire and Daisy continues her door duties. Lidiya looks so small and weak lying on the bed, and she's crying when she whispers: "Just let me die. Please."

Hearing her say this shocks me to the bone, so I try to keep my voice as clear and steady as possible when I reply: "Never." I take a step closer to her. "I will never let you die, I promise." This only causes Lidiya to cry even more. "You're going to take me back." She whispers, staring into my eyes. "Never." I repeat myself, this time my voice filled with a lot more pain than before. I can feel her distrust towards me, I can feel her thinking about the fake me hurting her. "It wasn't me moy lyubov'. You were having hallucinations." I know that telling her this probably won't convince her, but I have to try. "No..." She whispers. I can see that she's not believing me and it's like this causes her fight to come back. "No." Her voice is louder this time. "I don't believe you! You left me in the dark!" She screams the words. I did. I did leave her in the dark. It was never my intention to, I didn't want to go on that stupid ass mission, but they demanded I would be there. Shuri enters the room again, honestly I didn't even know she left. But seeing how she has new and clean tubes with her it's an easy conclusion about what she went to do. Shuri smiles kindly at Lidiya but her entering just seems to send the girl into a new wave of panic. She kicks in Shuri's direction and tries to fight Nat and Clint's grip. "Let me go!" She screams and it's as if she's living through a nightmare. "Ivanov please calm down, Shuri just wants to give you a new IV." Natasha tries but of course it's wasted energy. I can see Lidiya frantically scanning the room and when her eyes land on Carol she desperately calls out. "Carol, help me, please!" Shuri puts a hand on Lidiya's leg, trying to soothe her. This is when Lidiya her screams begin. "Please don't let him touch me, I don't want it anymore! PLEASE DON'T LET HIM RAPE ME AGAIN!" Let him rape me again… How could I be so stupid. Immediately my fingers are on her temples and I enter her mind with ease. It's as if I can see the world through her eyes, and what she sees is Gregovich standing there with his rotten smile, ready to push her legs open and take what he wants. "Radi yebli (for fucks sake)!" I grumble, sometimes I really am the most stupid Avenger of the entire compound. "Shuri get back, Lidiya thinks you're someone from her past!" I have no time to explain to Shuri who it is that Lidiya is seeing but thankfully I don't need to, immediately she takes a step back. It's quite clear that this confuses Lidiya even more. She's shaking, crying, and I can feel that she's freezing cold. "Lidiya, please look at me." I softly say, and slowly she turns towards me. When she meets my eyes, fear is written all over her face. "Please don't hurt me. Please don't take me back there. I'll be good, I promise. I'll be good!" It are whispers that leave Lidiya's mouth but I hear them, I'm sure Nat and Clint can hear them as well, and I'm using all of my willpower to not fall to the floor when I hear these words. "I won't Lidiya, I won't. I'm going to fix this, I promise. Now rest." When I finish my sentence I use my powers to make her go knock out, putting her in a deep slumber. I can only hope that this will help her feel better when she wakes up. Slowly Natasha and Clint release her arms, and I share a look with Natasha that's filled with pain and desperation.

Seeing everything that has happened through Wanda her eyes is completely different then how it's been for me, but I know that it's the truth. I know it's Wanda, my precious Wanda, and that she'd never lie to me. I crawl towards her and hide my face in the crook of her neck, letting my tears wet the both of us. "I'm here Lidiya, I'm back." Wanda whispers into my ears and finally I can let go of all of the fear that has been holding me down the last weeks.