Seleste

[Chapter 13] —Seleste at Jazzy's

I made it through the day without breaking down or letting Tamaska do what she really wanted to do to Trevor and Shana. I probably shouldn't be mad at Shana; she may not even know that I am Trevor's mate. I have noticed her looking at me throughout the day as I glared at the two of them, but then again, all nine of us have been glaring at them, so it may not be easy for her to guess who his true mate is. I choose not to worry about that now. I'm just counting down the hours before we get to hang out, drink a little, and enjoy a night of poetry and jazz.

I meet up with the girls before we all go to our individual homes. The anticipation of getting out and away from the craziness has made my day go by faster and easier.

"Hey guys, are we still on for Jazzy's tonight?" I ask.

Yes, I need to wind down. It's been a while since we have been there. I wonder who will share their vibes tonight." Rose says.

"You never know," Talia says.

"Let's meet at my house around 9ish? Mona, you want to come over and help me get ready.?" I ask.

"Sure."

"How are you really doing Lettie?" Mona asked.

She is one of the few people who knows that Trevor rejected me as his fated mate.

"I'm ok Mona. It's hard seeing him act like she is his mate, and can you believe he tried to alpha command me again not to tell anyone that he is my mate? Mona, I just don't understand him. I mean, I know he was mad at me, but we were friends for most of our lives, like 16 years of friendship gone just like that. I'm angry, but I will be ok."

"Lettie, you are strong. I don't know what I would do in your place. How do you keep Tamaska from attacking Shana when she is all over your mate?" Mona asked.

"I don't know. Maybe because I accepted his rejection. I mean, the bond is there, but not as strong as it would have been. Hopefully, with time, I will completely be free. I'm actually going to talk to Alpha and see if there have been any requests for training from other packs. It will be good to get away and focus on something else." I tell Mona.

"No Lettie, you will not run away from your home because of this person. He is not worth it and if you try it, I will tell Alpha Collins what he did myself. You know you are what keeps this pack together. He does not get to take this from us. He does not get to make our true Luna leave, even temporarily!" Mona exclaims.

"Ok Mona, it was just a thought. I don't think mom and dad would let me leave right now, anyway. They would be afraid I wouldn't come back. If I try to leave right now, my dad will lose it. He already really wants to teach Trevor a lesson in respect, but I don't want to cause problems between dad and the alpha because dad hurt his son." I tell Mona.

"First of all, Lettie, if alpha and Luna knew what he did, they would be the first ones to teach him a lesson and alpha knows your dad respects authority and would not do anything to Trevor without a reason," Mona says.

"I know, but Trevor is not worth all of this trouble. Let him have his moment. Remember what grandmother taught us about rejection and our family? Since Trevor rejected me, there is a chance that the moon goddess will give me a second chance mate. Remember, grandmother said that since I am the goddess' chosen protector, she would not want to see me hurt and alone. She would want me to be loved and cared for. That gives me hope. When this dies down, I'll start traveling again and hopefully find my second chance mate. It's too soon right now, of course. I'm not completely over Trevor, but I believe I will have a chance for a truly happy ending and as petty as this sounds, I know that when I get my second chance, Trevor will still be stuck with a chosen mate. He will never experience the true mate bond and the genuine connection. I feel sorry for Convel, he doesn't deserve that, but Trevor made his choice and condemned all of us to suffer through the bond breaking."

"Like I said Lettie, you are so strong. How you can still stay positive right now, I will never know. Ok. Talking about Trevor is depressing. I'm glad we are going to Jazzy's tonight. We all need a break. I hope you will share some poetry tonight when we get there. I know the crowd misses you. Jazzy asks about you every time we go when you are away. He says the crowd loves you and he makes more money when you share your poetry."

"You never know, like I told you all this morning. I have some new material, so I just might." Mona leaves to go to her house before we get ready for Jazzy's tonight. She will come help me get ready.I decide to take a small power nap. It seems like as soon as I got to sleep, Mona was back to get ready for tonight.

"Seleste, what are you wearing tonight?" Mona asked me while standing in front of my walk-in closet.

"I think I might wear my little black dress; you know, the one that hits my curves in all the right ways." I answer while walking into the closet and grabbing my dress.

"Do you mind if I wear your little red dress? I think it looks good on me." Mona asks and reaches for the dress in question.

I laugh, "how do you know I was going to say yes?"

"Easy, I'm your favorite cousin. You never say no to me." I look up and Mona is giving me a puppy dog look. All I can do is laugh at her.

"Ok. I guess you can wear it. Now let's hurry up so we can meet the girls downstairs."

We all load up in Rose's car and head to Jazzy's. I am so glad they agreed to come with me. I have not told Rose and Talia about Trevor. I don't know if I will tell them. Rose would definitely tell Ben, and Ben would tell Alpha Collins. I honestly don't want that to happen. If the alpha and Luna find out, they may try to force us to mate so that Trevor's wolf doesn't leave him or get weak. I don't want that to happen. After the pain I felt last night, I don't care what happens to Trevor. He should have thought about all the consequences. Anyway, I think I will share my new poem tonight. It's called Unapologetically Me and it was written about Trevor. Mona will know what it is about as soon as she hears it.

We arrive at Jazzy's and find a good spot to park. The line is long, but since the bouncer at the door recognizes us, we get escorted to the front of the line. Jazzy sees us as soon as we walk into the club. He personally escorts us to the front of the club to a VIP table. All eyes were on us as we walked through the club. Some of the regulars recognized us. A couple of people stopped us and asked me if I would be reciting anything tonight. I just smiled and said, maybe. I think it is pretty settled that I will. There is nothing like sharing your words, your thoughts, and your heart with an audience who appreciates you and your talent. After we were seated at our table, I whisper to Jazzy that I would like to share something new tonight.

Jazzy walks up to the stage and gives me a small wink. He is going to make this interesting.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I told you we may have a special treat for you all tonight. One of Jazzy's favorite poets is in the place tonight. If we all ask her real nice, she may share some of her knowledge with us. What do you say Seleste, will you share with us tonight?" Jazzy says while looking at me. The audience chants, "Seleste, Seleste, Seleste." Everyone is snapping their fingers and flicking their lighters. I love this scene.

I stand up and turn to the audience.

"With a welcome like that, how can I say no. I have a new piece I wrote recently, and it is itching to be shared." I say as I walk up to the stage.

Looking in the back, it looks like I see Trevor in the audience. It can't be him. The guys never want to come here. Must be the remnants of the mate bond messing with me and making me think I'm seeing him everywhere. As I get to the center of the stage, Jazzy hands me the microphone and walks off the stage. The audience gets quiet, waiting to hear what I'm going to say.

"This poem is called Unapologetically Me. We go through different things in life that cause us pain. We have people in our lives, who make it their mission to break us or destroy us, but we are stronger than that. So, I dedicate this to all of us who have ever been through heartache and survived."

Unapologetically Me

By Lotta Patterson © 2021

You tried to break me,

But I'm unbreakable.

You tried to shake me,

But my faith is

Unshakable.

You tried to stop me,

But my might is

Unstoppable.

You hated my strength.

Wanted to weaken me

My conviction unbreachable.

You tried to lessen my influence.

My respect from others

Unchallengeable.

I am me, unapologetically

You tried to move me.

My stand is

Unmovable.

You questioned my worth,

But my value is

Unmatchable.

You tried to dull my shine

But my light is

Undimmable.

I am me, unapologetically

You thought you would forget me,

But guess what?

I'm unforgettable.

You tried to replace me.

My love is

Unreplaceable.

Now you want to relate to my pain

But you and I are

Unrelatable.

Don't you know-

I am me, unapologetically

You wanted to change me.

I'm un-customizable.

You wanted to mold me,

My intellect is

Untouchable.

You wanted to shape me,

For you, my spirit is

Unreachable.

Don't you know-

I am me, unapologetically

Forgive you, you ask.

What you did is

Undeniable.

Forget you I might.

Our life together was

Regrettable.

You plus me.

No never,

That idea is

Unredeemable.

Move on, I will,

Us together,

Unlivable.

Don't you know-

I am me, unapologetically

I say the last line and then take a bow. Jazzy walks back to the stage and I hand him the microphone back. The audience and going crazy. I look up and realize that it was Trevor that I saw, and he is looking pissed right now. I guess he did not like my poem. I don't really care. Like I said in my poem, I will not apologize for being me. Trevor stands up and storms out of the club, dragging Shana behind him. I bet he will find a way to make this all about him, but oh well. He will get over it.

As I'm walking to my seat, the audience is going crazy. Jazzy says, "I told you we were in for a treat. Just like always. Seleste does not disappoint. Thank you for gracing us tonight, Seleste. Don't stay away too long next time."

"I won't. I miss you all when I'm away." I bow to the audience again and take my seat.

"I saw that," Mona links me so that the others can't hear what she is saying..

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"I saw Trevor drag Shana out of here after you finished the poem. I guess he knew that was written for him. I guess the truth hurts. I loved it."

"Thanks, Mona," I say.

"Wow Seleste," Talia says, "I don't know who you were talking to up there, but girl, that was nothing but the truth. Never change who you are for anyone. That's my girl."

For the rest of the night, men were buying us drinks and many people in the audience came up and spoke to us about my poem. Most of the people hanging out in Jazzy's are artists of some sort. It feels good being around like-minded people. I almost don't want to go home tonight, but tomorrow is the big party. Now I don't know what to expect at this party. I'm sure Trevor is going to try to pay me back for what happened tonight. It's not like I knew he would be there. This is me and the girl's place. The guys never come here.

After the club, we all pile back in Rose's car and head back to the pack. I get out at Mona's house. She lives a short walk from my house, and I can use the fresh air to clear my head. For the first time, I am dreading my birthday. I know what should be a time of celebrating the 10 of us turning 18. Trevor will hijack the spotlight and make it about him. Never mind that the party falls on Rose, Ben, and my actual birthday.

As I near my house, I see Trevor standing against his car. Great, just what I need right now. I am not in the mood for him. Tamaska is still hurting and is barely responding right now. This is the last thing she needs. I swear if he makes my wolf cry again, I might lose it and do something to him.

"What do you want Trevor?"

"Are you proud of yourself? Making me look bad in front of everyone again?"

"Seriously Trevor, you really need to get over yourself. Tonight was about me and the girls. I did not know you would be there. You nor the other guys have ever come there before and as you saw, I'm a regular there."

"Just remember, Seleste, I will have the last laugh. You still are just the she-wolf, I rejected." Trevor says with a smirk.

"And you remember Trevor, I accepted your rejection, so you are nothing to me. I can care less about what you think about me," I say as I walk past him.

"Where are you going, Seleste? I am not done with this conversation."

"Well, I am," I say and keep walking.

"Do Not Walk Away from ME!" Trevor yells in his alpha voice.

I just look at him and keep walking. Maybe it is time for him to learn that his alpha command does not work on me. He stands there looking shocked as I walk into my home and close the door. I can tell Tamaska is furious with Trevor right now. I'm ok with that. I'd rather see her mad than crying. Luckily, he did not make her cry again or I would have done something to him. There is only so much a she-wolf can take. I wish I could avoid going to the party tomorrow, but again, I refuse to allow his actions to dictate my life. He is proving himself to be unworthy of me.

"Don't worry Seleste, we will be ok. We will survive this. He will be sorry. You are right about tomorrow. He will try to make us submit to him. Even Convel felt like we challenged him tonight. Which is crazy because Conel knows who I am. Idiot alpha wolf." Tamaska says.

"I know T and I'm ready. I did not challenge him, but I should. He is not fit to lead. Any alpha that rejects his goddess-given mate does not deserve to lead the pack."

"You are right Seleste. We will be there together. The bond is almost completely broken, and I am getting stronger by the hour. The moon goddess has blessed us to get through this rejection with minimal damage."

I am so glad my wolf is back and getting stronger. There is nothing that she and I cannot do together. I know the goddess is on our side in this. I am ready for whatever happens tomorrow night, or should I say later tonight.