"Her suffocating breaths"

[December 22nd, 2021]

She hit her head continuously on the wall of her bathroom. It hurt so much that it was hard to even see anything.

Her tears had surrounded her vision.

Why did her morning have to begin like that? Why did she have to cling to this useless life?

Her graduation ceremony was due in 2 hours. It was early and no one was awake yet. She left her house with crutches in her arms.

She walked down the alleys in this cold weather wondering what she could have done instead of the things she did.

Looking at the snowy weather, she knew she wasn't going to see the next snow let alone the coming spring. She didn't know if she took all of this for granted or not.

She looked at the sky that was showing little flakes of snow since the night.

"Help me." She asked in a desperate voice, almost about to tear up.

She took deep breaths after trying to suffocate her the entire night. She had a graduation ceremony today. She must live. She must stay healthy. She mustn't ruin it for others.

She drove all these thoughts in her head for determination and then walked back home.

Her parents were awake and she had breakfast with them before her father dropped her off at school.

The outside of the school was colorful. A little too colorful for how her feelings were today.

She used her crutches to walk all the way inside.

Ethan waved at her from a distance where they had set a face painting stall.

She walked towards them forcing a smile on herself.

It was going to be alright, she kept telling herself.

"Welcome to our little stall Miss, how may we help you?" Giselle asked.

"Oh I want to be employed as a painter." Aurora chuckled lightly.

"Is that your expertise? Why not then? Join us today and end your problems!"

As if.

She smiled lightly and sat down. It was a Christmas themed face painting set up.

But first, the staff had to paint their own faces to attract other people.

"I'll paint Aurora's." Sean declared with a straight face.

"Of course you will!" Lucy teased them.

He grabbed his set of brushes and paints then led her to a corner for private face painting purposes.

"Who'll paint mine?" Giselle asked.

"I will." Lucy said before grabbing her set.

"What about me...?" Ethan asked as he was left alone.

"Your girlfriend should be around. Go ask her."

Right. Emilia should be inside the school. So, Ethan grabbed some brushes and paints and left for her search.

On the other side, Sean stared deep at his palette trying to choose colors.

"Get going... maybe?" Aurora murmured.

He raised his line of sight towards her. She felt a little nervous, seeing him close up like that.

He put his hand in his pocket, taking out a bobby pin. He pinned her hair on each side revealing her forehead. His quiet, straight face didn't give off a good feeling. It felt like he had a lot on his mind.

He tapped his brush on the palette with orange paint and started painting her face. He wasn't very proud of his skills but today he looked seriously into it.

After the orange, he applied black paint. She could sort of guess what he was trying to draw.

But he kept it within the forehead.

He blew a little on her forehead before unpinning her hair.

He then filled another brush with light brown paint and started painting her cheeks.

"I get to ruin your face too!" She said as she chuckled, thinking that might ring a reaction.

But it didn't do much. He just nodded her off.

"The last thing I have to do requires the paint to dry first. Can you do mine in the meantime?" Sean said after a while, still with a straight face.

Aurora nodded nervously. She couldn't understand him at the moment. She couldn't understand herself either.

She painted his face all white and black, turning him into a panda. She hadn't seen what he had drawn on her face though. But she waited patiently.

After his face was painted, he filled his brush with lots of black paint and rubbed it across her nose.

"It tickles." She chuckled as she moved.

But he had finished.

She was finally allowed to look but before she could, the panda standing in front of her stared into her eyes strongly.

"Live." He said before leaving her alone.

Live?...

She grabbed her phone, opening the front camera and facing it towards herself. On her forehead, was the good 'ol monarch butterfly but the rest of her face was a deer.

She suddenly remembered her painting infused with life and death in art class.

He remembered that significant detail.

He knew she had been trying to find meaning in her life.

Maybe this was her meaning or at least she could think of it that way for now.

She looked at the stall before following Sean who was headed towards it.

A lot of people asked for face paints and the crew painted their faces for them.

They ate a lot of food, enjoyed a bunch, saw performances, two of which Aurora couldn't enjoy; Singing concerts and physical games. But that was fine. At least she enjoyed it a little.

The sun started to set and all the students started to give their speeches. Aurora had written her speech last year. Though she didn't remember it, it was in her locker and her friends knew about it. So, they had informed her beforehand.

She was reading her speech trying to memorize it even though her friends told her it was alright and she didn't have to do it. But it was so well written that she felt like she had to do it no matter what.

She made a few changes as her situation had differed a lot.

Soon her turn came over and she quickly went over to the stage. She looked at the paper then the crowd, staring at her weak self.

She opened her mouth to say a word.

Suddenly her world darkened to the point where she couldn't see anything.

Oh no! Not now!

Not when she had to say something to the world. The last thing she felt was her legs finally failing her as she fell down passing out for the night.

[December 22nd, 2020]

She couldn't recall any event from the day.