"Their awed eyes"

[December 23rd 2021]

"Why hasn't she woken up?!" She could vaguely hear her mother yell at the doctors… Again. "Why?!" Her mother cried loudly.

"It is okay, Mrs. Friesen." She could hear Sean comfort her.

"How is it okay?!! How?!"

"Calm down, honey!"

Aurora slowly opened her eyes to see an argument. Not the first thing a patient would like to witness.

"Aurora! She's awake!" Giselle, the first one to notice, spoke.

Her mother almost passed out at the news but kept herself on the ground leaning in for a hug for her daughter.

Her mother sniffed loudly before letting go of her daughter.

"I'm sorry." She said to Sean before leaving the ward.

Aurora watched her mother walk away but couldn't say a single word to keep her there.

She looked down in despair, not knowing where to begin after practically ruining the graduation ceremony.

"It's not your fault." Her father assured her while patting her head.

"Hm."

Dr. Matthias arrived at her ward and read her reports.

"I don't wanna pressure you, but surgery is always available. The tumor is not going to grow any more than this. We can still do this, Aurora." He explained.

"I… Want to go out on a walk." She said after shaking her head.

Anything but surgery.

"Au-"

"Please."

Of course, she didn't want to hear anything about the surgery. And after reading about it on the internet, not even in a billion chances.

She was sent for a walk and Sean volunteered to accompany her. She didn't mind his company at all. But she was still curious about his earlier behavior.

"Sorry." Aurora muttered as she walked under the dawn sky. "You should go to sleep. I can walk alone."

"No. I have to talk to you." He finally mentioned it.

"About what?" Aurora asked.

"Baby Sean got triggered yesterday but you passed out. So, he wants to talk to you first."

Aurora agreed. She had been wanting to see Baby Sean for a long time too. It was nice that he wanted to see her himself.

It took Sean a while but they switched willingly.

"Aurora…" Baby Sean pouted before leaning in for a hug.

"There, there." Aurora patted his back like always. "How are you Baby Sean?"

"Not fine!"

She stared at his eyes, tearing up little by little.

"Why aren't you getting the surgery?! You're so mean!"

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't give us excuses. You don't care about us!"

"N-No, I do… I do. I really do. I'm just scared, Baby Sean."

Baby Sean leaned in for a hug as he sobbed and sniffed his pain away.

"If you'll go, we'll go too." He murmured.

For a little one to say that, it was too dangerous. He could actually commit suicide.

"Baby Sean!" Aurora teared up as she pulled back from his hug instantly upon hearing that. "You can't do that, please!"

"Then why are you doing this?!" Baby Sean shouted before sitting on, bending his knees on the ground as he sobbed.

Aurora sat down to pat his head but he pulled away leaving her in utter shock. Seeing him weep like this was so unpleasant for her eyes that she couldn't help but burst into tears.

He paused mid-way. Was he switching? Maybe the older ones were taking over.

He suddenly placed his hand over his wet cheek and checked back to see tears. He sniffed with a straight face while his tears were still uncontrollably falling.

"What happened?" Sean asked cluelessly. "Why are we crying?"

Aurora couldn't stop her tears either, or talk at all.

Upon not receiving an answer, he stood up from the ground and offered the girl in the hospital gown a hand.

It took her a second to understand what was happening but she eventually held his hand as she wiped her tears with her other hand while trying to stand up. He straightened her crutches for her and she held onto them.

He irritatedly tried to wipe off his tears but they were uncontrollable. So, he kept trying to wipe them off.

"Sean." She called him with her shaking voice. "I-I'm dying in a few days…" She stuttered, demanding an answer different from Baby Sean.

She wanted at least Sean to tell her it was fine to let go of her life. As much as she loved her life, she also wanted to end it once and for all and never have to be a burden on anyone else.

"Aurora…" He called her as he continued to wipe his tears until they finally stopped leaving his eyes swollen and red. "Get the surgery."

Aurora's eyes widened as he finally spoke his heart.

"Sean?"

"What?!" He sternly asked. "Can't I ask you to live? Can't I even do that?"

Aurora bursted into tears again. She couldn't believe what she had heard. Just a few days ago, he was willing to be alright even if she had to die. Now he was asking her to live a hopeless life in pain?!

She covered her face with both her hands as she left her crutches, instantly losing balance and almost tripping before he supported her. But she backed off from him, with her trembling legs.

She shook her head as she turned around to walk away. Though her entire ground was shaking, she had to run away.

She remembered vividly, even with her amnesia, the risks Dr. Matthias had talked with her father while they thought she was asleep.

Speech disorder, cognitive disorder, organ failure and much more just to live another year or less? The thought of burdening her parents with health and financial issues saddened her. She would rather die than become a burden!

After hearing Sean tell her to take the surgery, she was just out of her mind. She felt like an outcast. Everyone was trying to tell her the same thing. Even Sean.

Sean watched her walk away without any balance from a distance. She walked till the garden of the hospital until her legs finally gave up.

She sat on a bench where an elderly woman was seated. She sat for a while before she teared up.

"H-How?" She whispered as she uncontrollably gave up to her tears. Her breaths were rough and uneven.

The elderly woman sitting beside her placed her hand on her shoulder and caressed it lightly.

"It is okay." The elderly slowly muttered.

Aurora instantly shook her head.

What was okay? Nothing was!

She started to cry like a baby, loudly and involuntarily.

"How can they threaten me like this?" Aurora asked herself. "How can they say it so easily?"

The elderly continued to comfort her but in vain.

A nurse ran towards Aurora with her crutches from a distance.

"You must go back to your ward." The nurse said as she handed the crutches over, which Aurora refused to even look at.

Right. She felt like a prisoner. But she also felt selfish. She didn't know what she felt in the end…

The nurse somehow dragged her back to her ward where she quietly laid down without saying a word to anyone. She even refused to see anyone.

"What's wrong with her?" Giselle asked the nurse.

"She and the boy with her seemed to have had an argument… I'm not sure. Patients with terminal illnesses can be a little on the edge sometimes. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." The nurse explained.

"She will be fine right?" Ethan, who had been skipping his work to tend to his friend, asked.

"We hope so."

The grimness in the air was thick. The things they didn't want to believe ever were happening. They were happening but there was nothing they could do about it. And that itself was a frustration.

Dr. Matthias called her parents to his office and had them seated. Her friends insisted on joining so he let them join too, except Sean because he hadn't returned.

"She roughly has 5 days at max…" Dr. Matthias said. "Let's have the surgery done."

"She doesn't want it." Lucy said.

"I know. But her mother has requested. Though her consent matters, we'll start by hospitalizing her and getting a biopsy done. It might take a week but we don't have that much time so we'll try to speed things up. After getting it done, I can give her a detailed concept of how many risks we can avoid by performing the surgery. Do know, it is a very costly procedure, financially, physically and even mentally. It is risky. But better than nothing."

They all nodded. She needed that more than she denied that. At least the biopsy to determine if the surgery will actually be good for her or not. Her parents regretted not having made this decision earlier. But regrets wouldn't lead them anywhere now.

Only hope would.

The hope that Aurora had lost long ago. Sean's words made it worse for her as she stayed in her hospital bed crying and trying to figure out what to do.

Let Baby Sean hurt all of them? Or take the surgery to continue the misery?

She wasn't sure.

[December 23rd, 2020]

She couldn't recall any event from the day.