Chapter 8 Heart Broken

The conflict was in my heart as I thought about Arron and Jones as two different men with the quality of being in a relationship. Lately, Arron has been sneaking out more than normal as I would send Squeak out to give Jones a letter. Sometimes I would get some back, but it would be days as it was hard to get a hold of him. I thought about giving a radio to him to keep me happy, but my heart felt pulled towards both. So, I thought about talking to Arron about where he is going at night.

The dodging of answers would make it hard as he would just walk away or say nothing. The feeling of my heart was breaking faster than normal as I would ask Jade to let me go on walks outside of the base. She was very nice about letting me go but worried about my health. My skin turned paler as bags fell under my eyes sleep became nothing to me. At this point, she let things slip and let me go somewhere away from home. She would ask questions, but I never gave them any as I wanted to be alone. The cold feeling in my chest made it hard as this night I was going to follow him.

He would always make sure to see if I was there or not, but this time waited. The following someone was hard as Jones somehow did that to me for weeks. A feeling of dread came over me as he went towards an abandoned house. The sounds of the happy chips of a girl made my heart snap as I looked towards the door. She had long blonde and a pretty smile, her figure was much skinnier than mine, and the way she treated him was different than what I did. She was very friendly and open to the thought of him staying the night. I watched as I finally took the chance to run away. I was broken as I ran further away from their place and Wally World. Tears were like a river to me as I wanted to scream and kicked. I hated myself for letting him into my heart as I ran into a building I had never been to. It was broken as the windows were gone as the glass was all over the floor. The thought of being killed wasn't on my mind as I saw blood on the ground.

A nest wasn't something I thought about being in again, but my luck was out that day. I was in the middle of a group of zombies, and they didn't seem to know that I was there. Fear was gone as if I wanted death to happen. Waiting there for one of them to see me and take me away, but it never came. A hand pulled me towards the door, but I never looked up from where I stood.

"We should stop meeting like this," a voice said as I felt tears running down my face again. Jones seemed to be there to save me when I most need it. The feeling of being pulled away from the house as I felt like we were walking for hours.

"Where are we going?" I asked with a light sniff.

"I have a place I like to stay at," he replied, "it's small, but you can stay there with me for tonight."

"Really?" I questioned as we both stopped in front of a small house. It wasn't falling apart as it still had paint on it and the windows were boarded up to keep things out. It was still nice as he unlocked the door and pulled me in. As we went inside as I saw many things that gave me the normal teenage boy vibe. There seemed to be five rooms, a living room, kitchen, bathroom, storage, and a bedroom filled with personal belongings. Photos of his family were on the walls, a game system plugged inside the living room, and as well as other things in his home.

"Place your bag, shoes, and weapons in the closet by the door," he said with a smile as he took everything off himself. I thought it was weird for him to leave his stuff near the door and not worry about the issue outside.

"What about the zombie problem outside?" I asked.

"I have cameras and an alarm system," he replies as he starts to walk into the kitchen. "What do you like to eat?"

"I'm okay with anything you have," I answered as I placed my stuff down and sat on the couch. All I heard was him moving around the kitchen opening cabinets and placing things around. But it didn't take long for him to come back with a plate of pasta with tomato sauce. I honestly never thought I would be happy to eat something that looked so good in a long time. Soon as the plate hit my lap all I could do was stare at it as I thought about what just happened. But it ended with Jones placing his hand on my shoulder with a half-smile towards me.

"You should just forget about him," he said with a sigh.

"But it hurts so much," I replied as I took a bite out of my food.

"Then it's his mistake for leaving you then," he replied.

"I guess so…." answered in a soft tone.

"You know," he started to speak, "I'm always free for you to stay here. I mostly in one of the camps or on a mission for them."

"I don't want to bother you," I answered

"It's fine," he chirped, "I'm pretty lucky to have a cute girl living here."

"Shut up," I blushed

All I have seen was him laughing as he turned towards me. A light was in his eyes as he places his plate down on the coffee table. Doing the same as I placed my plate down and watched what he was going to do next. The feeling of my hand being pulled towards him made my heart jump as my face was near his chest. He was calm and collected as he breathed in and out, trying to calm me down. The silence made me scared, but at the same time safe like before. Don't understand why I feel like this with him and not Arron like before. That day when I first met him made me smile as I still felt that warmth on my lips.

Looking up at him with a smile was all it did to make his arms around me grow tighter. Protected and loved were all I wanted for years as I was different from my friends. I was depressed, teased, and my home life wasn't the best either with my mother and brother. The loss of two people in the group made me worry as the others don't trust me to go out. The worry of my turning into a monster was always on their mind as I knew I couldn't turn. Darkness was everywhere in the world; it seemed a little harder with going through things on my own.

"You know your cute right," Jones said softly, "That the guy before is stupid to let you go."

"I don't think I'm cute," I replied back

"You are and you know it," he said with a frown as he moved me away from him. My eyes were locked onto his as I felt safe once again. "Tell me what you feel right now."

"Safe," coiled back without a thought.

"Then don't worry about him or the others right now," he cooed under his breath, "think about how safe you are and that you can trust me with your thoughts."

"I don't know about my thoughts," I stuttered, "They seemed to be dark and ongoing right now."

"Tell me what you feel lately," he replied.

"I feel alone in myself," I started, "The feeling of dread as I watch the world burn from this virus. My family is gone and the feelings I had in the old world hold me down with doubt and fear. I lost two people in the group, and I couldn't save them as I watched them either turn or be ripped apart. Now I lost what seemed to be my first love to a woman out of our group. Even at home, no one trusts me to go outside the walls and hunt for supplies but forces me to do plans."

"You could always leave," he said with a soft voice, "I know the blood cult is not the best, but there are other groups."

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to be killed on the spot," I replied, "I killed many people in a short amount of time. My head is on a spike as I'm lucky to have my friends here."

"You could always come with me," he said, "You know live here in this small house."

"I don't know," I answered.

"I think it would be good for you," he replied, "A place for you to be yourself and you can still help your friends from here."

The thought of leaving made me shiver in fear, but at the same time I could have space to be free again. But how would I get back and forth from this place as it was on the other side of town? The thoughts of walking were dangerous and could get me killed, a bike or something will have to do.

"Is there any bike shop nearby?" I asked as I planned what I was going to do for the next few days. But that seemed like it was going to take a while.