#Reality

The older I get, the less I desire to feel involved, understood or accepted. The hardest pill I had to swallow for the time being was learning that no matter how good you could be to someone, no matter how much you love them, that they CAN and WILL turn their back on you. And the only thing you could be able to do about that is to suck it up and keep moving forward because there's absolutely nothing can be done. I mean, why forced your way into someone lives when they are clearly showing you the signs and signals they want to show you? Even if seeing the signs, why still there in their lives? Sometimes you're the one who takes all the videos an pictures of them but no one takes any of you. You have all the memories, but don't exist in anyone else's. You tends to see all of that but still stick around for what? Just don't want to be the cause for the problem if you open your mouth and say something or just want to always be the good one? The effort of one's doing is what counts the most.

The best thing I ever did was learn how to be my own friend and separate myself from everyone. When doing so you see enough for yourself and enjoy your own company away from the negativity. Sometimes finding peace in your own little world can be bit of a challenging because what hurts is when you have a broken family and then nowhere feel like home anymore. Just be struggling to get some fresh air to breathe freely when the time comes. Family can break your own heart but I don't think anyone is ready for that conversation as yet. A conversation about how you feel is not supposed to end in an argument and that's where trying to communicate goes wrong. I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them. Even the smallest thing you could possibly do for someone you be expecting in return knowing they don't have that mentality in them to do the same back for you. It's never too late to make a change. As far from growing, I've learnt about the age from 16-23 isn't easy. You lose friends, you make mistakes, you fall, you fail, you realize things, you hit reality, you lose yourself but in the end you find yourself and you become stronger and those are still the best years of your life too. So stop engaging your life trying to force yourself in something you're good at. If it is for you it will come your way without having to fight for it all along. Life gets better as you grow but it's up to you if you want it to be the way it's flowing in. Like I always say it's never late to make a change.