THE SUFFERINGS OF MEIXIU

"Why do I feel jealous of myself?"

"Zhao Meixiu!"

And a bang was heard on the door, completely stealing Meixiu's attention. Her eyes widened after seeing Chaoxiang coming in, rushing towards her direction. She can tell he's mad for his fists are both clenched, his jawline is clearly visible and his eyes are raging. Meixiu immediately closed her eyes and covered her ears in fear.

Chaoxiang stopped almost a meter away from her and sighed after seeing Meixiu reacted that way. Is she that scared with his presence? Is this the reason why she's not going home? Is she hating him up to this point?

"I... I... I'm sorry for not going home.", she said those words while attempting to kneel down in front of him.

The man got so disappointed that she can't even make an eye contact with him that's why he stole her hand and grabbed her back to her standing position. It stretched some of her muscles and she felt that her muscles were burning in pain. Her eyes are still closed and tears are involuntarily streaming down her face.

"You saw me when you were in Yang Sora's house but you never said anything? Do you take me as some shrimp?"

"You are hurting me. Please let me go."

"I heard Jianguo has been visiting you here. Are you two back to being lovers?"

"No no. I'm sorry if I never went home..."

"That is not the issue! You are seeing someone behind me and you condemn me from doing the same thing? And the moment I came here, you started crying as if I have offended you?"

"I admit, Jianguo and I saw each other for a couple of times now. And I am sorry. Please let me go, you're hurting my wrist so much."

"How could I spare you for this? You just admitted you are seeing him! Are you doing this for me to pull out the divorce paper again? Are you tired with this set up already?"

"No. That night, I was so scared of walking home alone. That masked man is stalking me again. Jianguo was the only person who's there."

"Masked man?"

Chaoxiang started to loosen his grip over Meixiu's wrist and the woman fell on the floor. She had lost her strength after that night came back to her senses again. Whoever that man is, the man who's been following her, the man who attempted to abuse her before, whenever she talks about him, her strength suddenly zaps. Meixiu is scared of seeing him again. If Jianguo wasn't there that night, that guy might be able to get her again.

"I promise I will never see him again. Just please don't be mad at me. You can hurt me if it'll satisfy you but please, not in my office. My employees, how can I gain their respect if I..."

"You can never get their respect if you are dating another man, other than your husband!"

"I'm not dating him. I swear, I don't have feelings for him anymore. He left me years ago. He left without saying anything at all. That was the first time I ever cried over a man and I've learned from it. I will never fall on the same mistakes again."

And Chaoxiang felt stiffed after hearing those words from her. Five years ago, Suyin also left him without saying anything at all. He spent all of his days after searching for some reasons why she would do that to him. Chaoxiang completely understands Meixiu this time. He can't blame her for crying this much for he knows how much it hurts.

"I will be stronger. I promise you that. I will reach a certain point in my life one day where I can stand for myself and protect myself from any danger. I will never depend on Jianguo or even to you."

"Protect yourself from danger? What are you talking about?"

"I am scared. I am more than scared. He might be waiting for me on the first floor. He will never spare me this time. He will surely take me away."

"Meixiu! What is going on with you? I'll call your assistant. You wait here."

"No."

She grabbed the hem of his coat and stopped him from running to the door. In her head, she is still thinking about Chaoxiang's identity. No one should know about their marriage, even her employees. No one should know he is here, not because he is Ruomei's brother and Ruomei is her friend but because he is her husband.

"Meixiu, who are you really? Why did you suddenly become a stranger in my eyes? A week isn't that long for you to drastically change like this."

"They are all coming back. They will ruin me once again. I have been thinking so much about them that I can't even sleep."

"You'll go home tonight. I can't leave you like this. Am I also one of those persons you are referring to?"

"It has been three days since you pushed me against the wall and strangulated me to death. Are you seeing how bruised my neck is?"

"Meixiu..."

"Chaoxiang, imagine us getting a divorce. You can go back to your family or focus with singing. You can go back to Suyin for it's her that you love."

She bitterly smiled after saying those words. Her twin sister, Wu Suyin is actually waiting out there; waiting for the two of them to get divorced and she will surely throw herself on Chaoxiang. And she is not the one who will wait for things to happen. Suyin is acting behind them, she is making their marriage life even more miserable for Chaoxiang to remember the good old days when he is happy with her.

"But how about me? I have no one, I will even lose this company. So yes, I am scared of you. I am scared of losing you because I don't have a thing to call my own. At this point, even if you don't love me, you are the only one that I have. If I lose you, it's like losing my whole life. Do you how paranoid I am right now? It can happen any day."

"Meixiu would you please stand up? You need to calm down."

"I wish I could sleep endlessly."

"Hey Meixiu."

And he involuntarily hugged her after hearing those words. Ruomei mentioned her best friend, Meixiu once committed suicide before. He knows he added up so much stress and anxiety to her. And now he is seeing the symptoms clearly. His wife changed, she completely lost herself in the process of keeping their marriage.

"You'll go home with me tonight."

"I will get back to you on that. I am enjoying my own company. For now, living alone is my only escape. Let me regain just a little strength and I will go back home."

"Why are you acting like this? Earlier you said, you can't lose me. And now you are driving me away."

"I have given enough. I used all my strength and I have to replenish. After all, it's not like you missed me."

"Ruomei will be mad at me for leaving you like this."

"Yeah right Ruomei... If it's not about her, you wouldn't care."

"Meixiu, that's not what I mean."

"I totally understand. You can go home."

"Do you want me to chase you? Are you trying to get even? If that's the case then you should know that I'm no dog to follow you around. You'll come home and you'll beg me to let you in. I swear that'll happen."

Meixiu just nodded and that reaction made Chaoxiang really disappointed. If only he could use his hands once again to choke the woman he married to death, he would do that. It seems like she doesn't care at all. She's been saying how huge her loss will be if she lose Chaoxiang but she's not doing anything to win him back. "Is she letting me go? Or is she holding me back? What is going on with you Meixiu?", those questions are boggling, messing up Chaoxiang's head while he's leaving her office.