Six

Haven drew a slow inhale. She stretched her arms over her head, sliding her hands beneath her pillow and feeling the cool, crisp sheets against her fingers. She frowned, blinking her eyes open. She didn't remember this room. This bed.

She slowly raised her head and looked around. Outside the window, the clouds had disappeared from last nights rain storm to reveal a bright blue sky. For several seconds, Haven remained motionless. It took her a while to remember where she was and what had happened not twelve hours earlier.

Clementine.

That was the first thing that came to her mind. Bolting up, her heart racing, Haven looked around the room, struggling to get up as she rubbed her eyes and cleared her vision.

The space beside her in bed was empty. The blankets were neatly folded in place and Sarah was gone.

Haven's eyes settled on the small cradle Sarah had brought in and peered inside. She sucked in her breath. Her little girl was sleeping peacefully.

Her little Clementine.

Haven fell back down to her bed, leaning back against the pillow as relief flooded her mind. Tears involuntarily sprung to her eyes and she was shaking so hard it was several seconds before she could move. As soon as her heart had slowed back down, she carefully stood up again, lightly stretching her arms in the air as she took a deep breath and stifled a yawn. She drew her knees to her chest as a light ache pulled at her muscles.

After a few minutes of sitting still and letting herself wake up at a much slower pace than she was used to, Haven had just started to fall back asleep when the door opened.

Haven tensed.

Sarah slowly and silently stepped through. She had a large tray breakfast in her hands—pancakes, eggs, sausage, a couple of her amazing breakfast rolls, a glass or orange juice, and a steaming mug of rich hot chocolate topped with whipped cream.

Haven's mouth watered at the smell alone and she swallowed.

"Hey, good morning, sweetheart. How do you feel?" Sarah asked, keeping her voice quiet. She set the tray of food down and felt Haven's forehead.

Haven looked around and let out a shaky breath. She nodded. "Okay, I think."

"Can you drink some juice for me?"

Haven nodded again, taking the glass Sarah offered her and taking a few sips. The coolness soothed her throat and she took another long gulp. She was silent for a moment before turning to look back at Sarah and asking, "C-can I get Clementine?"

Sarah grinned, lightly laughing. "Of course. Do you want to get her, or do you want me to?"

"Um, I got her. Th-thank you." Sliding out of bed, she reached in and slowly scooped her daughter up. Holding her in her arms, Haven awkwardly sank back down on her bed and managed to get comfortable against the pillows.

"So is that her name? Clementine?" Sarah asked as she arranged Haven's breakfast on the tray and moved it onto the bed so she could reach it easier.

Haven hesitated, viciously chewing her lip. "Y-yeah. I—I think so. Is it… what—what do you think?" she asked quietly, heat climbing to her cheeks.

"I love it—it's beautiful. And you know; she looks like a Clementine."

Haven relaxed into a shaky smile.

Clementine grunted. She started crying, her quiet wail piercing the still air. Haven gently patted her back in the hopes of getting her to stop. After a few minutes, she looked to Sarah; a silent plea for her help.

"It's okay, give her a minute," Sarah replied, watching Haven and nodding encouragingly. "Babies cry."

Haven swallowed, nodding. She gently rocked her arms, continuing to pat her hand on Clementine's back. Sarah helped her adjust her hold, showing her a more comfortable way to hold the little one that easier and more effective at getting her to calm down and get comfortable.

"I think she might be hungry," Sarah murmured, glancing at her watch. She picked up one of the bottles from the nightstand and gently shook it before handing it to Haven.

Clementine started to grow quiet after a few minutes. With a final snort, she closed her eyes as she downed her breakfast.

"There, that's better. Look, you're a natural."

Haven smiled nervously. "How often should she eat?"

"About every two hours or so for the first month."

Haven nodded.

"When you get hungry, I want you to eat some breakfast."

Haven suddenly realized she was supposed to be working in the kitchen this morning! Glancing at the clock, she was startled to see it was nearly eight-thirty!

"Sarah, I'm so sorry; I was supposed to work in the kitchen this morning. It'll just take me a few minutes to get dressed—"

"It's okay; I've got you covered. Besides, it's a slow week and we had two people check out last night last minute so don't even worry about it."

Haven started to protest again, knowing how busy the mornings were and not wanting to add additional stress to Sarah's mind, especially when she had been so incredibly helpful in such a short amount of time. "But I—"

"Haven, seriously," Sarah said, gently but firmly. She rested her hand on Haven's slim shoulder. "I want you to take the rest of the week—no, the rest of the month, at least. To get rested again, get your strength back, and settle into a routine. Okay?"

Haven nodded slowly. "A whole month?" Tears sprang to her eyes she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She couldn't not work for an entire month. What if Sarah realized she didn't really need her? She needed to work, needed to make money. She couldn't leave the inn. Not now. "But, I… I shouldn't get to rest when everyone else is still working—"

"Haven, not everyone is fourteen and needs to slow down. Not everyone just had a baby. And you are not everyone," Sarah replied gently, brushing some of she's hair away from Haven's face and kissing the top of her head.

Haven nodded slowly. She blinked away the moisture in her eyes.

Sarah brushed the remaining tears from her face as she took a seat on the edge of the bed. "So why Clementine?"

Haven exhaled slowly, feeling her cheeks grow warm. "I don't know, I just… on my first day here, there were clementines on the buffet as part of dinner and I had never tasted anything so sweet."

Sarah smiled.

"It's stupid I know, but… I don't know, I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was 'Clementine,'" Haven trailed off. She shrugged. "It just felt like her name."

"It's beautiful; I absolutely love it. Here, hold her upright and pat her back for a minute; get any trapped air out of her system."

Haven nodded, laying Clementine upright on her chest and gently patting her before giving her the rest of her meal. She and Sarah talked a few minutes longer while Clementine was finishing her breakfast.

As soon as the bottle was empty, Sarah nodded to the plate on the nightstand. "Come on, your turn to eat something."

Haven nodded. She made herself comfortable back on the bed, keeping her told on Clementine and relieved at how easy it had already become.

The smell of pecan pancakes and maple syrup made Haven's mouth water all over again. She hadn't ever had the pancakes. They were always the first to go and she'd been making herself only take the leftovers of whatever was still left on the buffet at the end of the day.

She struggled to eat with just one hand, not wanting to put Clementine down even while she ate.

"Put your knees up and lay her down on your legs and then you'll have your hands free," Sarah suggested.

Haven nodded. Clementine faintly groaned as she was readjusted.

"Better?"

Haven nodded. She delved into the pancakes, trying to pace herself. The warm fluffiness melted in her mouth, filling the void of hunger that seamed to always linger.

"Eat the eggs too," Sarah said with a smile.

Haven nodded. She hesitated. "Sarah?"

Sarah raised her eyebrows.

A rock dropped in her stomach. "Can I... talk to you?"

"Of course, what about?"

Haven glanced down at Clementine.

Sarah was the first person Haven told everything to. She told her everything about Damien. How she had been with him for as long as she could remember, how he started to abuse her—verbally, physically, and eventually sexually. How she was afraid to leave him knowing she had nowhere to go and terrified of the punishment he would inflict when he caught her.

"I started to suspect something was off. I could feel her fluttering around," Haven murmured slowly, remembering the first time she felt Clementine stir inside her. "Every once in a while, I just… had this… feeling and… I didn't know what it could be so I tried not to think about it. Damien figured it out. He noticed something was different too and he… tried to make me lose it. Lose her. As if she was nothing," she added, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sarah's face was masked with some combination of pain and horror.

"I thought it worked, I thought—I thought I lost her; there was so much blood and it hurt so bad. I thought I was dying so… I had no reason to stay." Haven looked up at Sarah with tears in her eyes. She shook her head. "I… I didn't want to die there in his factory so I left… I was planning to run as far as I could and lie down and just… go to sleep. It was one thing for him to hurt me, but… when I thought he killed…" Haven shook her head again, shivering, her voice trailing off. A tear spilled onto her face.

"Damien doesn't know she survived? That you were still pregnant when you left?"

Haven shook her head. "I don't think so. He couldn't have. I didn't even know. All he knows is that I was pregnant and… then I wasn't and I disappeared."

Sarah smiled sadly. She leaned forward and kissed Haven's forehead.

Haven thought for sure she'd loose her apatite after recounting everything that'd happened. But the relief of getting everything out was stronger than she thought. She'd been so afraid Sarah would ostracize her or turn her in.

"I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say," Sarah finally said.

Haven almost laughed, nerves forming a pit in her stomach. "It's... you don't have to say anything, I'm sorry, I just... wanted it out."

Sarah nodded. Faintly smiled. Her eyes welled up ever so slightly and she moved closer to Haven, wrapping her arms around her.

Haven's shoulders dropped, the tension melting from her muscles as she hugged Sarah right back.

"Finish eating," Sarah finally murmured, kissing Haven on the side of her head and then releasing her.

Haven nodded. She ate another bite of pancake, the void in her stomach beginning to lessen. As soon as the pancakes and eggs were gone, she set to work on the delicious sausage patties.

"Are you still hungry; do you want some more?"

Haven shook her head. She couldn't take a whole month off, eat the best food, and go back for seconds.

Sarah tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. "If I ask you to please eat another plate, will you?"

Haven fought back a smile. Yes. She'd eat another five plates if given the opportunity. Sucking in her bottom lip, she forced herself to nod.

"Okay, good. Let me run downstairs, and get you another tray."

Haven swallowed. She froze, blinking her eyes in the hopes of keeping tears away. She didn't want Sarah to go away and leave her alone.

"How about I have it brought up here instead?" Sarah suggested, pausing by the door.

Haven nodded.

Sarah placed a room service order and then sat down beside Haven.

"Um… Sarah?"

"Hm?"

"She kinda… I think she needs another… diaper."

Sarah laughed. "Hang on, one sec." She stood up, disappearing into the hallway and coming back with a few more small towels. "I forgot wipes. Do you want some help, or do you want to do it?"

Haven pressed her lips together, chewing the inside of her cheek. "Could you help me? I'd like to try, but could you maybe… supervise?"

Sarah nodded. She had Haven lay Clementine down flat on her lap. Unwrapping her from the blanket, Sarah handed her the wet cloth and helped her change the soiled diaper.

Clementine let out a little cry of protest at suddenly loosing the warmth of the blanket, which made Haven cringe. She struggled to move quickly, listening to Sarah's verbal direction.

"Okay, try and wrap her back up while I take these and put them in the wash. I'll be right back."

Haven nodded. When Sarah slipped through the door, she started to bundle Clementine back up but hesitated. She skin was so warm and soft. Very carefully, Haven inched her shirt up and set Clementine down on her bare skin. Sarah's shirt was big enough to go over Clementine so she pulled it back down, making sure to bring Clementine up high enough so her head was sticking out of the neckline.

Haven sank back down in the bed, cradling Clementine against her chest. For several minutes, she was happy to sit in silence; running her fingers across her daughter's smooth skin.

When Sarah returned, she had another tray of food in her hands. "Ooh, smart," she said, nodding to Clementine.

"She's so warm."

"I've heard that's fairly common," Sarah laughed.

Haven relaxed into a smile.

"Can you eat with her like that or do you want to wait?"

"Um... I think I can," Haven murmured, sitting up a little and reaching for the plate.

Just as Haven had finished her second breakfast, Clementine arched her back in a stretch, faintly grunting. Her little hand stretched up in the air, her fingers spreading as her mouth opened in a big yawn.

"I think she's getting hungry again," Haven murmured, wiggling Clementine back out from beneath her shirt and cradling her the way Sarah showed her.

As she drank hungrily, Clementine's eyes slowly blinked opened. She stared up at Haven, her little fist wrapping around Haven's thumb. Haven gently caressed the skin on the back of her hand, smiling.

"She has your eyes," Sarah murmured.

Haven looked up, smiling almost nervously. She looked back at Clementine and bit her lip. "Really?"

"Oh totally."

"What... what else does she have of mine?"

Sarah tiled her head to the side, studying Clementine and then Haven. "Your nose."

Haven almost giggled. Out of the eyes, nose, and mouth—the most noticeable facial features—that was two out of three Clementine had of Haven and not Damien.

Feeling more at ease, she leaned back in bed and started patting Clementine's back again the way Sarah showed her.

Sarah reached for the TV remote and turned on a movie and about an hour in she leaned over to Haven and quietly asked,

"Are you going to be okay up here by yourself for a little while? I have some stuff I need to take care of before it gets too late in the day."

Haven swallowed, a tingle of nerves settling in her stomach. She nodded.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."

Haven nodded again, fighting the flood of dread she felt creeping into her mind.

"You'll be perfectly fine up here. I promise," Sarah added, squeezing Haven's arm reassuringly. "If you need something, just use the phone and page downstairs."

"Okay."

Pausing by the door, Sarah added, "And I'm serious when I said I wanted you to take the month, little one. You are a wealthy, paying guest as of right now."

Haven smiled, flushing.

"Stay up here if you want, watch TV all day, come down for your meals if you want to; it's up to you, whatever you want, okay? Later this afternoon, I'll go to the store and get you some things for Clementine. If you want to come, you can. And I'll check in on you as soon as I'm finish with my stuff."

Haven nodded, her hair falling over her shoulders. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

Sarah winked at her before slipping through the door and leaving.

Alone once again, Haven stood up and moved to the window, still cradling Clementine in her arms. She stared out at the beautiful greenery for half hour or so before her eyelids began to grow heavy. Haven reluctantly climbed back into her bed and closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the moment of complete relaxation. It was so strange; sitting still, knowing there was nowhere she needed to be or work needing to be done. Not needing to be afraid of someone bursting through the door and screaming at her for whatever reason.

Clementine, drifting off to sleep, abruptly uttered a little cry.

Haven's eye's shot open and she sat up straighter, patting Clementine's back.

Clementine sneezed and Haven wiped her nose with a tissue from the nightstand. Her eyes started brimming with tears again. Either unable or unwilling to try and fight them yet again, she held her daughter close and cried, completely exhausted and emotionally drained.

And she didn't like being alone.