I'm a black dragon, Bitches!!!

'ugh, my head hurts what the hell happened last night? the last thing I remember was shotgunning a shit load of beer and Sara. dam she knows how to party. wait a minute why do I feel warm and cozy. OH SHIT, I remember I was on the balcony's edge trying to impress Sara and I um, think what happened. oh yeah I got off and got laid and I went downstairs- no I met Jeff and he got pissed that I fucked his girlfriend Sara and he pushed me and I think snapped my neck!!' he said proudly that he figured it out and then it hit him hard 'i died... I didn't die VIRGIN HAHA TAKE THAT DAD!!!' and so begins the great adventure of a dumass.

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2 minutes later... 'ugh I'm soooo bored there's nothing to do! the afterlife is shit I want my life ba-' he was soon cut off by rolling and shaking 'what the fuck is going on?' he thought. after a few more minutes later it all came to a stop 'finally all that rolling and bouncing came to a stop that was giving me a headache! this fucking afterlife sucks ass! you know what FUCK YOU!!' he thought. and through a punch and hit a mysterious wall 'SERIOUSLY A WALL GIVE ME A BREAK!!' in another fit of anger he punched the mysterious wall and then it cracked 'did I do that?' and no he did not, during his tantrum, he failed to notice that there was already a crack in the mysterious wall. what is actually happening to that he has gotten too big for his eggshell and is ready to burst, but let's not tell him that it will hurt his ego.

'haha take that afterlife your puny wall can not stop m-' he was soon cut off from more cracking until it busted open and he fell off a pedestal down to the hard marble ground. his first words into this whole new world were "what the fuck kind of piece of shit makes a PEDESTAL THAT FUCKING HIGH!!!" he said with fury in his voice. that's his first words, complaining about a goddam 4ft pedestal, (I forgot to mention he is a wuss) during the spectacular fall he had landed on his tail.

"ow, my tail... wait a minute." he then turned his head and looked at his ass to see a long black tail with a sharp dagger looking thing at the end spikes that go all the way to the head he can feel each muscle that is connected to him then he looks at the reflective floor and sees his face. Two ginormous horns curve toward the front, his teeth are razor sharp and his eyes are as black as night, he looks toward his back two see if he has wings, he looks but where the wings would be there are only nubs. "what kind of dragon does not have wings?" then he looks at his hands to see velociraptor like claws that look like they can and will kill anything. then he looks at his scales to see that they are small but thick "no fucking way I'm a BLACK DRAGON, BITCHES!!" he said enthusiastically but unfortunately, none of his friends or family could see or hear him "let's take look around shall we?" he said talking to himself.

he looks around and sees that there are gold carvings on some white and black stone he looks down to see that the floor is made out of floor it was nothing interesting. then he sees a one-way entrance and exit "I will go over there in a bit" he says he looks up to see a giant painting of a battle between humans, elf's, orc's, and other creatures fighting two big black dragons, and behind them was an egg "so those were my parents. it would have been nice to meet them" he said sadly. CRASH he looked behind him to see a human maid who dropped the bucket she was carrying. her face was as pale as a ghost. SNIFF SNIFF 'why do I smell piss?' he soon came to realize that it was coming from her "umm look I'm not here to eat you or anything soo you can calm down now ok?" is what he meant to say but what came out was "growl, hiss" in a threatening tone "aaaahhhhhhhh!!! (#!*$%%&^!!)"

she ran back down the hallway where she came from saying the same thing over and over again [it has hatched kill it!!!] 'I think I may have overstayed my welcome.' just as he was about to leave he saw a big group of armored men with shields and swords marching toward him 'I have definitely overstayed my welcome I need to get THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW!!!' to be continued...

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the author here I'm not that good at writing so if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes plz let me know so I can improve my work hope you enjoyed it.