9 Craving

It turned out to be much harder to stop than he had expected.

Long after Saera had fallen asleep in his bed, Jin lay awake, unable to relax. The throbbing in his loins persisted even after the initial desire faded away. He kept replaying the feel of her skin, the softness of her hair in his hands, and her quiet gasps in his ear - a cycle of torment circling in his mind. He tossed an arm over his face. He'd overestimated his own level of restraint. He couldn't go on like this. He felt like he would never sleep again.

Beside him, Saera moved gently in her sleep, her long hair splayed over a silk pillow. He turned away from her. [I should never have kissed her!] He pressed his eyes shut as if trying to hide from her beauty.

Jin had really made a good effort. He had spent the week being careful around Saera, making sure he did nothing to encourage her advances. He'd tried not to let himself be distracted by how pretty she was, or how talking to her was interesting and enjoyable. He'd gone to bed rigidly every night, to ignore the fact that she was so close to him, but it had all been for naught - the moment she'd moved to kiss him at the firework show, his resolve had melted away like ice thrust into a fire, letting in all the desire he'd been trying to suppress.

Saera was confident and self assured. The way she looked at him was level and observant, and it made him shy. Even the way she kissed him was bold, unashamed of her own desire and wants.

JIn rolled back on his back, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. Her chest rose and fell prettily under a white silk robe. Jin swallowed, closing his eyes. It felt like no time at all had passed before the sun's rays woke him, squeezing in through the window and stabbing painfully at his eyelids. He sat up quickly and drank from a pitcher of water at his bedside, trying to quench a different kind of thirst altogether.

Woken by his movement, Saera stirred beside him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Good morning," she murmured. After a few more moments she rolled out of bed, stretching casually as she walked to the wet room. She washed her face and ran a comb through her hair, moving through her morning routine habitually, taking her time. She was becoming more comfortable here.

When she came back to the main room, Jin was up, standing bare chested at the wardrobe as he searched through clothing. Saera watched the muscles of his back, his tanned skin, how broad shoulders tapered down to a slim waist. Handsome. Barefoot, she made her way over to him, ducking under his outstretched arm and slipping in front of him. She looked up at him and smiled, her confidence bolstered by his attentions the previous night.

"Good morning." She closed the door of the wardrobe behind her and leaned against it, leaving him standing shirtless in front of her. "How are you? Did you sleep well?"

"I… I'm fine." He swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. The definition on his chest seemed to be cut from stone.

Yes, you are. "Are you ready to tell me more about the traditions we must follow?" She smiled teasingly, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly on the cheek. As she pulled away her eyes lingered on his mouth, and Jin felt his breath catch in his throat. The tension from last night, coupled with her proximity this morning, was too much for him. He moved forwards and her body tensed expectantly.

"Can I… kiss you?"

"Ye- "

Jin's lips crashed down on hers, harder than he'd meant to kiss her. The silk of her sleeping robe did nothing to conceal her form from him, so thin it was barely there beneath his hands. He pushed her back against the wardrobe and cupped the back of her neck, deepening his kisses, forcing her lips apart with his tongue.

His sudden intensity sent a thrill rushing over Saera's skin. Jin was always proper, and this was a marked change - the aura emanating from him was urgent and demanding. The shock she felt only heightened her excitement, for she had never considered that Jin would have this in him. He kissed her roughly, as if to devour her, his teeth nipping intermittently at her lower lip. She turned her face in surprise from the intensity, gasping, and Jin wound his hand in her hair and dove for her exposed neck. Saera clutched at his shoulders and moaned, feeling her legs go weak. A familiar warmth began to gather between her legs as he sucked harder at her neck, hard enough to leave a mark.

Saera whimpered with the realization that she'd been craving this sort of attention from Jin since the day she'd met him. His hands left her hair and roamed freely over her robe, following the curve of her breasts, her waist. His body trapped her against the furniture behind her, his legs overlapping with hers. She pushed her hips against him, feeling his desire straining against her, and in return he grabbed a handful of her behind, the silk bunching up in his hands, pushing her pelvis into him harder. The heat and scent of him were everywhere, causing her body to melt like liquid gold.

He was kissing her so hard she wasn't getting enough air. Saera felt herself go light headed and moaned against his lips, trying to tell him to slow down, but Jin ignored her, giving her only an instant to gasp between each kiss. Her hands clutched at his bare chest, his hot skin searing her fingers. The pressure of his desire pressed repeatedly against her, the cloth of his pants rough against soft skin unprotected by lightweight silk. Instinctively, she reached down to grasp him through his clothing, her fingers brushing against the hard, swollen mound beneath his belt.

Jin stiffened and pulled away with a grunt, the muscles in his neck taught with exertion. He pulled her hands off of him, grasping her wrists and holding them tightly. Her robe was disheveled, her cheeks flushed as she looked at him in surprise and breathed heavily. Her dark hair cascaded over one shoulder in tousled waves. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, fighting his urge, pushing it down with every breath.

Saera tried to protest but he held her wrists firmly, only releasing her once he had regained some modicum of self control.

"I… " Saera looked at him breathlessly, her eyes confused.

Jin summoned a great amount of willpower and backed further away. It physically pained him not to touch her, her curves accentuated by the thin robe and the beginning of a mark blooming on the side of her neck. He tore his gaze away regretfully, running his hand through his hair and exhaling heavily. He had almost completely lost control. He couldn't let it happen again.

"I'm sorry." Jin turned away, closing his hands into fists. The veins stood out strongly in his forearms.

"Don't be sorry." Saera took a step forward, but Jin backed further away. "Just finish what you started."

"I… I'm not supposed to... I'm sorry. I'll wait for you outside." He snatched a jacket and hurriedly left the room, leaving Saera standing alone, bewildered and confused.

By the time she dressed and met him in the hallway, Jin had returned to his composed self. He acted as if nothing had happened between them. As they walked to the main hall, Saera peered at him curiously. There was animalistic passion and lust beneath his polite exterior. So why was Jin working so hard to suppress it?