Chapter 45: Quality versus quantity

With Kurenai…

"Sand… a village made out of sand… And what if it actually rains?" Kurenai asked herself, walking down some random Suna street.

"Hello, Sakura-sama!" Someone suddenly greeted.

"Wha…? Oh yeah, good day to you too…" 'Sakura' replied, continuing to walk. 'Damn, next person who will call me Sakura gets my sword through the head! But no, let's wait for that. First I need to get myself a destination. Let's see, pinky is a… medic! That's right, so my target is pretty much…" She turned her head to see the hospital. "Bingo!"

The hospital…

"What is your… Oh, it's you, Sakura-sama!" The reception girl said, making 'Sakura' scowl.

"Y-Yeah, I've been around and decided to help. Is there anything I can do?"

"Of course, right this way!" The girl exclaimed, motioning for 'Sakura' to follow. "It has been a complete nightmare. What happened all of sudden?"

"Haven't you heard?" Kurenai replied. "Suna will be hosting a FIFA World Cup this year!"

The girl looked at Sakura strangely. "Are you okay, Sakura-sama?"

"Sure, sure. Now where are the patients?"

"Over here please." The girl opened the door and 'Sakura' entered.

"Oh, Sakura-sama!" Some doctor said. "Thank god you're here! This man has a severe poisoning! We don't know what to do and…"

"Don't worry, I got it!" 'Sakura' said, taking the med card. "Ah, I see… Of course, the problem is obvious. You just need to give him a few doses of cyanide."

Doctor's eyes widened. "W-WHAT? But it's gonna kill him for sure!"

"Oh no, no, no…" 'Sakura' shook her head. "You see, this poison kills a human, cyanide kills a human. But mixed together they will destroy each other. It's like in math, minus on minus is a plus, right?"

"R-Right…"

"Okay then, you know what to do!" Kurenai smiled beamingly and left. 'I can't believe he actually bought that! It was the lamest thing I have ever…'

"Ah, Sakura-sama!" Some nurse ran over. "Please, we need your help!" She led Kurenai to another door and opened it. "This woman has pregnancy problems!"

'Sakura' grimaced. "I'd rather not…"

"But you're a medic! You swore Hippocras's oath!"

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Fine fine…" She muttered, getting in position.

"Please save my wife, Sakura-sama!" A worried husband said. "I will do anything!"

'Sakura' smirked evilly. 'Sure you will.'

"Ah!" The woman screamed. "I can't push it out!"

Kurenai paused. 'What to do, what to do… Oh, I got it!' She smiled. "Don't worry, everything will be alright. Just push… Okay, one more time…"

"I-I can't!"

'Sakura' pressed on woman's stomach. "How about now?"

"Ah! I think it's coming out!"

"That's nice to hear!" Kurenai said with a smile. "Okay, one more time… There we go! Congratunations, you have a son!" She exclaimed, taking the child. 'Genjutsu: Tenma Koutai! (Demon shift)'

"Oh, my son! I have a so…" Father's eyes widened. "What the…?"

Of course, his confusion was natural. The baby was dark skinned… while both parents were not.

"Michiko… what is the meaning of this?"

The woman gasped in shock. "No, it can't be! Tetsuo, I don't know…"

"You have betrayed me, Michiko…" He said gravely. "You have betrayed our love. Sakura-sama, can you please leave us alone? I must speak to my wife…"

"Sure, here's your baby." 'Sakura' said, placing a baby near his mother. "Enjoy your family life!" She went out of the room, only to hear…

"Fuuton: Kaze no Yaiba!"

"Ahh! Tetsuo, NO!"

SLASH.

Kurenai grinned from ear to ear. 'Alright! Another happy family! Next!'

Suddenly…

"Sakura-sama! This woman got her leg cut off!"

"Well, then cut off the other one. Soon we will need all spare parts we can get." 'Sakura' replied. 'Oh, how I love the authority!'

"Sakura-sama! We have a real emergency!"

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "What now?"

"This man's chest hurts, and we don't know what is causing this!"

"Okay, where is he?"

"Over here, ma'am!"

The female doctor led 'Sakura' to another room and opened the door. "Right this way!"

Kurenai walked into the room slowly. Indeed, there was some guy clutching his own chest.

"Ah, I see the problem already!" She walked closer and touched said chest. "He has an alien inside of him!"

"A what?" Other doctors asked in confusion.

"An alien. A little green piece of crap, with acid instead of blood. And when he will finally emerge, be sure to hit it with a fire jutsu!"

"But Sakura-sama…"

"I said shoot a fire jutsu right away! No arguing, because if we let it escape, it will turn into a monster and eat all your children. You don't want it, right?"

They shook their heads.

"Then hit this guy with a strong fire jutsu exactly in… seven minutes. Understood?"

"H-Hai…"

"Good then. I'm off…" 'Sakura' replied, leaving the room. 'This is insane! How can they withstand so many bitching people at the same time?'

"Sakura-sama, we have…"

"Sakura-sama, there is…"

"SAKURA-SAMA!"

"SHUT UP!"

Silence…

"I'm having a hard time, okay? So I will take a break on the… roof. Where is to the roof?"

"Uh… that way."

"Thank you very much…"

The roof…

"Damn, hospitals are evil!" Kurenai stated. "Still, I had my fun, so let's test some of my skills. Besides, I always wanted to try this…"

She raised her right hand above her head and looked around.

"I hope no one will hear me saying this…"

With real Sakura…

'Sasuke-kun… Naruto…' Sakura thought worriedly, walking down some street of Sunagakure. 'You will try to end one another once again. How… How did it all happen? Why must it be like this? I… I never wanted for Naruto to die, I just wished for him to return so we could all be together again, but…'

"Hey, did I hear right?" A sudden voice brought her out of her thoughts.

The pink haired kunoichi turned her head to see two Order members running past her.

"Yeah!" The second replied. "Let's hurry or we're gonna miss it!"

"Damn, I can't believe Hinata-sama would do something like this…"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. 'Hinata?' She thought for a moment and decided to follow them. 'I thought Gaara wanted to send her away…'

A bar…

"Yeah, it's right there!" One of the Order members shouted, running inside and quickly followed by the second one.

"Hinata? In a place like this?" Sakura muttered. "Something's not right…" She said, entering as well.

A very loud music immediately attacked her ears.

"What is going o…"

"CHEEEEER!"

"Oww!" Sakura clutched her ears. "What was…" The last word died in her throat. Why? Well, that's because she has finally spotted Hinata. It was hard not to do that because she was right on the stage. Yeah, you see, this was not some ordinary bar… it was a striptease bar.

"Oh… my… god…" Sakura mumbled in deep shock.

And it was quite understandable too, for Hinata was not only wearing a very tight and revealing bikini, but she was also feeling extremely confident while doing so. In fact, her movements were so graceful, entrancing and sexy that even Sakura could only stay rooted in her place and stare dumbly. What's to say about men, who were ready to burst inside their own pants any second?

"Alright, boys!" Hinata shouted, turning her back to the audience and leaning forward slightly, doing another sexy pose. "This is what you've been waiting for!" She added, starting to undo her bra.

"WOOOOHOOOO!" Men cheered loudly.

"In just a few seconds you will finally see the world's famous titts of Hyuga Hinata!"

Sakura's eyes widened. 'There is no way Hinata would do something like that… Wait!'

Flashback…

"Well, let's just say…" Naruto coughed a few times. "Let me make you forget all your worries." The demon said in Sakura's voice.

Kunoichi's eyes widened. "H-How do you know that? Were you spying on us?"

Naruto shrugged. "You can say that… though I really hated when you called me Sasuke."

End flashback…

Her eyes widened even more. 'That's it! She can't be the real Hinata!' The pink haired girl concluded, reaching the stage in just a few jumps. "Stop right there!"

"Oh?" Hinata straightened, turning to a sudden newcomer. 'Kurenai wouldn't interrupt me, so I guess…' She smirked. "Oh, well if it isn't pink bi… I mean Suckura… I mean… well, you know what I mean."

"CHEER! IT'S SAKURA-SAMA! SHE'S HERE TO JOIN THE SHOW!" Someone screamed out of the crowd.

"Really?" Hinata asked in amusement. "Wanna have a strip duel, Suckura-chan?" Hinata asked, rubbing her own body sexily.

"N-No." Sakura replied with a blush. "I'm here to end your charade!" She said, taking a battle stance. "There is no way the real Hinata would do something like that! You're an impostor!"

'Hinata' pouted. "How cruel!" She exclaimed and turned to the crowd of overexcited men. "Hey guys, she's preventing you from seeing me naked."

"WHAT? GET OUT OF HERE!" The crowd screamed, glaring at Sakura.

"No, wait!" The pink haired girl raised her hands. "She's not the real Hinata, she's fooling all of you!"

"That's not fooling, Suckura-chan!" 'Hinata' said seductively. "That's called…" She struck another sexy pose. "Entertaining!"

"Enough!" Sakura yelled. "Reveal your true form!"

"Oh well, I guess it can't be helped…" 'Hinata' said with a sigh. "But before that…" She placed both of her hands behind her head and her hair shot up, creating some kind of… portal…

With Lady…

'I need deadly precision…' Lady thought, looking down from the roof at some dark alleyway. An alleyway with three Order members walking casually through it.

"So, are you new here?" One of them asked.

"Yeah, I just got transferred from Iwa." Another one answered.

"You've made the right choice. Soon the Order will be… GUEH!"

"What?" The second turned to the first… only to see him falling down on the ground with a sliced throat. "What is… Mmh!" His eyes widened when a hand suddenly appeared over his mouth… and a knife was stabbed into his lung from behind.

The third Order member who was walking slightly ahead of them turned around.

"Hey, you guys alri… YOU!" He shouted, noticing Lady standing over two dead bodies. "You won't esca…"

He couldn't finish his sentence, because Lady quickly drew her gun.

PUFF.

"Gah!" The last Order member gasped as his was shot directly in his throat.

"I can't fail this time." Lady said, walking over and pointing her gun at still struggling man's head. "I'm betting my life on this fight."

PUFF.

The Order of the Sword's headquarters…

'I'm finally here…' Lady thought, lurking from one shadow to another. 'Pretty quiet here unlike last time.' She took off her backpack and placed it in a dark corner. 'Excellent! Now all I need is…'

"Well, well, well…" A sudden voice spoke, making her eyes widen. "If it isn't our favorite nosy bitch. Came back for more?"

Lady turned around and glared. "You."

"Yes, me." Misako said with a smile on her face. "Were you expecting someone else?"

Lady smirked in response. "No, but here is a better question. Were you expecting someone else?"

Misako's smile faded. "That shouldn't concern you…" She said, drawing her sword. "Besides, you're about to die anyway."

"Sorry to disappoint…" Lady started standing up. "But I'm not going to die until I see you saying hello to your old friend!"

Misako's eyes widened at that. Seeing her distraction Lady immediately dashed for the window and jumped through it.

"Hey, get back here!" Misako screamed out of the window, watching the raven haired girl fall. "I'm not finished with you!"

"Oh, but I am!" Lady stated, turning around in midair.

"Wha…?" Misako looked closer to see some small device with red button in Lady's hand. "Oh shit!"

With Naruto…

"Sasuke's mom has got it goin' on.

Sasuke's mom has got it goin' on…" 'Sasuke' sang nodding his head at the rhythm.

"Sasuke, do you remember, you pathetic clown?

Your mom came out with just a towel on.

I could tell she liked me from the way she stared…

And the way she said "Hurry and put it down there"!

And I know you think it's just a fantasy

But since your dad is a good for nothing steaming stinking pile of monkey crap… ahem…

your mom could use a guy like me!

And she did by the way! Very thoroughly I might add! Anyway…

Sasuke's mom has got it goin' on

She's all I want and I've waited for so long,

Sasuke can't you see you're just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong but I have fucked Sasuke's mo…"

"Please, spare something!" A sudden voice interrupted.

'Sasuke' rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Damn, you ruined such a beautiful song!" He turned around to see some beggar with his hand raised. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Please…" He begged.

"Please what?"

"Please spare something kind man…"

'Sasuke' raised an eyebrow. 'Kind? Me?'

"That guy's so fucked up…" Yamato commented.

'True, still…' 'Sasuke' smirked. "Are you sure you want me to do that?"

"Yes, please!" The beggar pleaded.

"Alright, alright. But only because you said please." 'Sasuke' said… taking out his gun.

BANG.

"Ouch!" Yamato commented mockingly as beggar's brains were splattered all over the wall. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. How cruel of you!"

'Cruel? Eh-Eh! After all, he didn't specify what he wanted me to spare.' 'Sasuke' replied, pocketing his gun. 'I thought a bullet will do.'

"And it did!" The demon blade stated. "Now he looks way better in my opinion!"

"Too true." Naruto muttered. "Now where should I…"

"Hey, grandma!"

The demon turned around to see a little girl smiling at her grandmother.

"Are we going to the church today as well?"

"Of course, dear." The old woman replied, smiling back and leading the girl away.

"Bweah!" 'Sasuke' faked a vomit. "If there is one thing that I hate more than an old woman, two old women and even a bunch of old women is a bunch of old women in a church!"

"You never even WERE in a church!"

'One of the reasons to hate it…'

"So… are you going to do something epic about it?" Yamato asked excitedly.

"Heh, of course! Or did you forget who I am?" Naruto struck a mighty pose. "I'm the great and powerful Uchiha Sasuke! Everything I do is epic! Especially when I say 'Hn'! So we're going to church, granny! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The church…

"Forgive me, oh heavenly father, for I am sinful."

"What is your sin, my son?" The priest replied from behind the thin wooden wall.

"My sin… I… I don't know how to tell you…"

"Do not worry my son." The priest spoke again. "I will understand and forgive you. And the Lord will forgive you for his forgiveness knows no limits."

"Oh, okay then. You see… My sin is that I kind of ran my hand through your head…"

The priest paused. "But you didn't do it."

"Chidori!"

SMASH.

"I did now." 'Sasuke' said with a smirk, withdrawing his right hand from priest's head. He then looked outside to see a large crowd of people, expecting some preaching. "Sorry about that pal, but you won't mind me hosting this party instead of you, right?"

The priest gave a pre-death twitch.

"I knew you would say that!" 'Sasuke' said with a smile. "It's show time!" He said, walking over to the tribune. "Hello my good people!"

"Sasuke-sama?" Someone from the crowd spoke. "What happened to father Balder?"

'Which part?' 'Sasuke' wanted to ask back, but instead he smiled warmly. "Our dear father is…" He glanced to his left and saw a small puddle of blood. "…Unavailable at this very moment. So he asked me, the great Uchiha Sasuke to do the preaching instead of him. Does anyone have a problem with me doing that?"

No one spoke.

"Excellent then!" 'Sasuke' smirked. "Where to start… You see, we all have our demons. I for example have my best friend named Naruto. Yes, that Naruto. He turned on me and betrayed our village. But we shared a bond, you understand? BOND! No, not a guy named James Bond, just bond. So I will not rest until I save Naruto from darkness and pfffft! HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I can only withstand this much bullshit with a straight face!"

"I'm actually surprised you lasted this long!" Yamato commented. "I was trying my best to hold myself and not interrupt this!"

"Hahahahaha… Oh, alright then enough of that. Tell me people, are we all the servants of our Lord?"

"YES!" The entire crowd spoke as one.

"And do we believe in greater good?"

"YES!"

"And we believe in doing good things?"

"YES!"

"And we actually do good things?"

"Y-Yes…" This time it was different. Almost half of the crowd remained silent and the majority of the rest hesitated before answering.

"Ah, just the reaction I was hoping for." 'Sasuke' stated. "Because simply believing in something and actually following that belief are two different things. You desire salvation; you desire the assoiling of your sins. That's why you come to the church, right?"

Undescribable mumbling.

"I thought so." 'Sasuke' said in satisfaction. "Do you really believe your sins will be forgiven if you simply sit down there, put your hands together and say AMEN over and over again? Well Eh-Eh! For your sins to be forgiven, you actually need to repent for them. Do you know what repentance means?"

Silence.

"Repentance means that you understand what you did wrong and promise… no, actually promise not to do this again. Hahaha…" He chuckled. "You are so naïve. Do you know how many sins are there, hm? Don't bother, I'll tell you. There are nine… And how many do you think you have? I bet more than one. Do you even understand that you must repent for each and every sin in order for it to be forgiven?"

Many people lowered their heads at this.

"But let me tell you something… you don't have to."

Three seconds of silence.

"WHAT?"

"Oh easy, easy!" 'Sasuke' raised his hands defensively. "You see, I will now tell you one of the greatest truths of this world… Being evil is good. Yes good, because you don't need to think about your sins. As a matter of fact, you don't need to think about anything. Men! What do you think about when you see a beautiful naked woman?"

Murmurs…

"Exactly what I think when I see one! And you shouldn't be ashamed of that, quite the opposite, you should be proud! That's proves that you are real men! Women, what do you feel when you see another woman being more popular with men than you are? Of course, you feel envy. And don't try lying to me or even yourself. No matter what you say to yourself in your mind, we can't control how we feel. And that is why none of us will reach the gates of heaven. Because we are who we are."

Almost half of the crowd gasped.

"Oh, don't be sad now! Let me ask you this… is it really so awful?"

"Wh-What are you saying, Sasuke-sama!" Someone shouted. "The way of our Lord is the only right one! And even if we are sinful, we must seek forgiveness until the end!"

Many nods followed in approval.

'Sasuke' grinned evilly. "Oh really? The only right way… Say my friend, the Bible says that god is all-merciful and all-forgiving. Do you agree with that?"

"Of course I do!"

"My, what determination! But sadly, you are mistaken."

"WHAT?"

"Oh yes, you are! As a matter of fact, it's a huge misunderstanding! You see, our precious Lord is not as flawless as we believe him to be. For example, he's not all-forgiving. On the contrary, he forgives no one. If he did, hell would've been empty, right?"

Silence.

"Right. He's not that merciful as well. He has the divine power, ne? Then why won't he help everyone who needs to be cured? Why not do that if you're so compassionate? Do you know why the Lord does not… and will not help any of you, or any other human being for that matter? Simple, it's because he doesn't care! Who are you to him? Only insects on the planet he created! Then why not give it back to him? Think about it! What is better: to reign in hell, or to serve in heaven? You already know that you have no chance to get to heaven, why limit yourself then? Why go to church and listen all this crap over and over again? Why try to achieve the impossible… when everything you could ever hope for is right here in front of you? Darkness, lust, gluttony, greed, violence, desire! Submit to them, and they will show you how wonderful this life can actually be!"

"Sasuke-sama?"

'Sasuke' looked down to see that little girl from before. "Yes?"

"Is darkness really this nice?"

"It is…" 'Sasuke' replied. "As long as you allow it to be…"

"Will we really have everything we want?" Someone from the crowd asked.

"Sure. That and much more! Unlimited person has unlimited joy! And if you will…"

"Enough!" A harsh voice brought people out of their trance… and 'Sasuke' out of his fun.

"Ho, it's Gaara-kun! Do you wish to join our club? We'll call ourselves 'Evil is good'! How does this sound?"

"Gaara-sama!" Little girl spoke happily. "Join us! Darkness is nice!"

Kazekage's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so… Uzumaki."

'Sasuke' raised an eyebrow. "Uzumaki? Where? It's me, Sasuke, can't you tell?"

"I can." Gaara stated. "First of all, Sasuke wears different robes. Secondly, he talks differently. And third… he doesn't wear sunglasses."

'Sasuke's eyebrows rose. He slowly took his sunglasses off of his face and looked down at them.

"Shit, I can't believe I fucked up on something like this. How come no one noticed it before…?"

"I did." Yamato stated. "But I was wondering how long it will take for them to realize."

"This is not Uchiha Sasuke! He's trying to fool you and destroy your minds! Don't listen to him!"

"I knew what he said was wrong!" Someone from the crowd shouted and some people agreed… Less than a half.

"Damn, now you ruined my fun! Oh well…" Sasuke put his sunglasses back on. "I guess it can't be helped…"

"Game over, Uzumaki!" Gaara said glaring and unleashed his sand.

"Oh, wait, wait, wait!" 'Sasuke' waved his hands defensively. "Before you go with your usual sand coffin shit and that "Mother wants your blood!" crap, do you mind if I pray a little? After all, it's the first time I'm in a real church!" He put his arms together and spoke again. "Forgive me oh Lord, because I am sinful! I have just killed everyone in this fucking church, trying to explain that ART IS A BLAST!" 'Sasuke' shouted, throwing a fireball at the ceiling…

Suna hospital. The rooftop…

"I hope no one will hear me saying this…" Kurenai muttered, raising her fist above her head. She then looked left and right to make sure that no one was around. And then…

"Shannaro!" The demoness shouted, slamming said fist in the middle of the roof…

Striptease bar…

"Oh well, I guess it can't be helped…" 'Hinata' said with a sigh. "But before that…" She placed both of her hands behind her head and her hair shot up, creating some kind of… portal…

"W-What is that?" Sakura whispered in awe and fear, seeing how a dragon head appeared from 'Hinata's portal.

"LET'S DANCE, BOYS!"

The Order of the Sword's headquarters…

"Wha…?" Misako looked closer to see some small device with red button in Lady's hand. "Oh shit!"

"Suck on this, bitch!" Lady shouted, pushing the red button…

The church…

"KATSU!"

All over Sunagakure…

BLAST! BLAST! BLAST! BLAST!

With Naruto…

"HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait! I want god's forgiveness!" 'Sasuke' exclaimed, getting on his knees. "Forgive me, oh Lord. I have killed everyone in that church just as promised… Wait, that's not right. Let's try this way. I'm sorry for killing everyone in that church. I couldn't help it, they looked like total imbeciles, and imbeciles deserve a slow and painful… Damn, that's not it either! How about… I seek repentance because I killed everyone in that church… accidently. Yeah, it was an accident! I was aiming for… for… well, the Lord is supposed to be smart, he can make it up himself…"

Suddenly rocks started to shift…

"Uzumaki!" Gaara screamed, getting out of the wreckage and unleashing his sand. "You bastard, they were innocent people!"

'Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. "Ah-ha! So I didn't kill everyone in that church!" He looked up and showed a middle finger at the sky. "Then you can take your forgiveness, put some angel sperm on it, turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!"

"Cough… This ends here, Uzumaki…" Gaara exclaimed between coughs.

"Eh? Oh, well if you meant Suna, then yeah it ends here." 'Sasuke' said with a smirk, bringing his right hand up and starting a Cero. "And it's starting to end with you going for the ride! Cero!"

Gaara's eyes widened. Yeah, he was the Kazekage, but speed was one of his worst qualities.

BLAST.

A beam of red energy hit Gaara head on.

"Score! And thus Know Your Role team wins again!"

"Wait, don't relax yet." Yamato replied. "There is something up ahead."

"Huh?" 'Sasuke' tried to look through the smoke, and when it started to clear, he finally saw…

"NARUTO!" One Uchiha Sasuke in his black Order robe screamed with his sword drawn.

"Oh-ho!" Naruto exclaimed, dropping his 'Sasuke' disguise. "Uke!" He shouted back and drew… a cola can. "Yeah, I know I probably should've run at you with my sword and clash our blades in overdramatic fashion like the true rival that I am, but… Well, I kind of not really consider you my rival. After all, you're just a dumb piece of trash…"

"Shut up!" Sasuke shouted. "You should've stayed dead!"

Naruto's eyebrow rose. "You're the one to talk. After all, my death was only a presumed one. You on the other hand… I somewhat remember blowing your brains out."

"Grr!" Sasuke scowled and was about to rush forward, but someone grabbed his shoulder.

"Stop." Gaara said stoically from behind. "He's trying to provoke you yet again. Don't fall for it like you did last time. After all, you promised Sakura…"

"Y-Yeah…" Sasuke relaxed somewhat.

"Ah, so you protected him." Naruto nodded. "How very noble of you, Uke-chan. But I'm not really surprised. After all, nobility, honor and all that stupid crap is natural for morons like you." He shook his head. "I still can't understand why Itachi sacrificed himself for you. He was the closest thing to a rival that I will ever have. Yes, your brother was smart, strong, cunning and determined. He was a true shinobi. And you… you are just a pathetic failure. How could he believe that you will be able to stop me?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Don't you dare saying my brother's name! He believed in me, and nothing you say will make me doubt myself anymore! I will destroy you just as he wanted me to!"

"That so…" Naruto grinned evilly. "Say, how's Sakura?"

"Don't bring her here! This is between me and you!"

"Sure, sure… Just answer one question; did she scream your name in pleasure?"

Sasuke's scowl deepened.

"No? Well here is another difference between us. She did scream your name in pleasure when I banged her little virgin pussy! HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Grah!"

"Sasuke, no!" Gaara tried to stop his ally, but Sasuke was simply too fast.

"SHIN-NE!" The last Uchiha screamed, bringing down Rebellion with all his might. But then…

Naruto's form suddenly shifted, and now instead of him there stood… Uchiha Mikoto.

"Sasuke-kun?" She said in sweet voice.

Sasuke stopped his attack immediately, only to…

SLASH.

"Guah!"

…Find himself hanging on Naruto's sword.

"Oh my fucking god!" Mikoto exclaimed, as her form shifted back to Naruto. "I can't believe you fell for that! Shit, you're the biggest shinobi failure I have ever seen in my fucking life!"

"A failure…" Sasuke muttered quietly. "A failure as a shinobi… Well, that might be true, however…" He suddenly gripped Yamato's blade with his left hand, making Naruto tilt his head in confusion. "You are a failure as a human being!"

"Wha…?" Naruto asked, just as Sasuke raised his demon blade and brought it on the blonde's head…

CLANG.

…Only for it to be blocked by Naruto's left hand with a black metallic gauntlet around it.

"You know, Uke-chan? I will really be missing you…" The Overlord said, bringing his left hand up and creating another Cero right in front of Uchiha's face. "Try to survive now. Ce…!"

"Sabaku Rou!"

"Wha…?"

SLAM.

A giant sand ball closed around Naruto. Thinking desperately, Sasuke brought his legs up and in the last possible moment pushed himself off Naruto's sword.

"You okay?" Gaara asked as Sasuke landed near him.

"Yeah, just a scratch." The Uchiha said, looking at his rapidly closing wound.

"Take this, Uzumaki!" Gaara brought his hand up. "Sabaku Sousou!"

The Kazekage clenched his fist, but to his and Sasuke's surprise, instead of compressing the sand ball just exploded like a bomb.

"Ahaha, that was nice." Naruto stated, slowly descending to the ground.

"What did you do?" Gaara asked with a glare.

"Oh, that's just one very nice trick I picked up on my way here…"

"It won't help you against this!" Sasuke shouted, bringing his right hand up. "Chidori Eiso! (Chidori Spear)"

"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Naruto simply stood in his place with a cola can in his hand. And when Sasuke's lightning spear almost reached him, it just vanished.

"What?" The Uchiha asked in confusion. "But I didn't cancel my technique!"

"And you didn't…" Naruto replied. "I did."

"How did you…?"

"It doesn't matter how!" Naruto interrupted. "What does matter is that I want to know where the big jabroni is."

"We have no desire to tell you." Gaara stated emotionlessly.

Naruto pouted and shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, tsk… Well that's too bad. But seeing that he's not here yet, I think I'll play with you two imbeciles for a while…"

Sasuke's eyes flickered with fire. "Play, huh?" He suddenly disappeared in a flash of yellow and next moment Naruto noticed Rebellion's blade sticking out of his stomach. "Play this, you bastard!"

"Hiraishin?" Naruto asked with raised eyebrows. "Well, that's just… ridiculous."

"What?"

"Stop trying to be me, duck ass. You have no chance."

"I'm not trying to be you, asshole!" The Uchiha shouted, holding his sword in place.

"Oh really? Becoming an avenger, turning on Konoha, gaining devil's arm, becoming a demon, wearing black, now also Hiraishin… What's next, gonna steal my sunglasses?"

"Fuck you!" Sasuke withdrew Rebellion from Naruto's torso and tried to decapitate his old rival.

However Naruto simply smirked and…

"Shinra Tensei!"

"Gah!" Sasuke gasped as he was blasted away by some unknown force.

"Th-That's Rikkudo Sennin's power!" Gaara exclaimed in awe.

"Not really." Naruto stated. "He simply was known for using it. In reality this is just another gravitation technique. Watch. Shinra Tensei!"

A couple of houses got blown away.

"But I don't really need it. I just used it so dear Uke-chan won't harm my precious cola can. But…" The Overlord drank the remains of cola from the can and threw it away. "Ahh! Now when I can use both of my hands, I guess it's time to waste you two. Say good night!" He grabbed his sword. "Judgement Cu…"

"CERO!"

"What?" Naruto asked in disbelief just before a large beam of green energy slammed into him.

"Sorry, I'm late." Sakura said, landing beside Gaara.

"No, your time couldn't be better." The Kazekage stated in appreciation. "Where have you been though?"

"I had a distraction." The pink haired girl replied. "We fought, but then I sensed Naruto's presence and rushed to your aid."

"And what about the distraction?"

"I left her on others. I'm needed here more."

"I see." Gaara nodded. "You're right, let's focus on…"

"LOOK OUT!" They were suddenly interrupted when two flashes appeared between them. One was black and the other was yellow.

CLANG.

Two demon blades collided once again.

"Oh? You have noticed my movement, impressive." Naruto stated with a grin. "I wonder how… ah, that's how…" He added, noticing blazing Sharingan in his former teammate's eyes. "And here I thought I destroyed all of these cursed eyes…"

"Kh! Sakura!"

"Hai!" The girl went to punch Naruto, but he quickly disappeared in a flash of black yet again.

"So it was you who fired that Cero at me. Not bad for a useless bitch."

Sakura glared at him. "What are you trying to accomplish by destroying everything, Naruto? What's the point?"

"The point?" Naruto asked back in amusement. "Hehehe… HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Who needs it to see trash like you crawling miserably trying to survive? I do it just for pleasure!"

"You really are a sick bastard." She stated. "I can't believe I once called you my friend…"

"Exactly! That's the difference between me and all of you jabronies. I have never considered you my friends!" Naruto grabbed the hilt of his sword. "Rapid Slash!"

"Hn." Sasuke simply grabbed Sakura's hand and they both disappeared in a flash of yellow. "We won't go down so easily this time. And also…"

Random men started to appear.

"…Unlike you, we have a backup."

"Alucard."

Instantly a swarm of bats appeared beside Naruto and out of it Alucard appeared with a bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Yeah?"

"Where have you been, jabroni?" Naruto asked.

"Me? Oh, I watched Hanabi's striptease. This girl sure knows how to move."

Naruto's eyebrows rose. "Hanabi was doing striptease? And I missed it? Fuck… Oh well, I guess I'll simply ask her to do it personally for me later."

"So…" Alucard drank from his bottle. "What do you need me for?"

Naruto turned serious. "This child's play is annoying. I want the big trash, you get the rest."

The vampire bared his teeth. "Fine by me…"

"But not fine by me!" Sasuke shouted, appearing in Naruto's way.

"Hn." Naruto raised his hand. "Bansho Tenin!"

"Kyah!" Sakura yelled as she was suddenly pulled into Naruto's hand.

"Sakura!" Sasuke screamed.

"Shin-ne." Naruto said emotionlessly, grabbing Sakura by the throat and throwing her through several buildings.

And of course Sasuke rushed to her side immediately.

"Idiot." Naruto said walking away.

"Hmhmhm." Alucard chuckled, glancing at Gaara. "You decided not to follow him, smart."

"There is no need for me to follow." The Kazekage stated. "Taking him down is not my objective for now. But if others will fail… there will be no need for me to be close."