Chapter 2: Childhood

My mind is still pretty much clouded with everything my mom told me about my dad yesterday. I feel much better but I still wish my father could talk to me himself. I feel so incomplete. I feel like I do not know a part of me that is also very important for me to know. I feel like a puzzle missing half of its pieces.

A masterpiece left unfinished by the only artist who can finish it.

(13 years ago on father's day)

"Father! father! I wrote you a poem."

"Haya, I told you to rather buy me a present. Why did you have to write me a poem? you naughty little girl!" my father said tickling me then he lifted me.

"I do not have enough money for a chocolate bar dad, here! Please read it out loud." I said handing my father the card I wrote the poem on.

"I love you, you love me

Why do you always hide from me?

I remember you used to play with me

Now, you just look at me

Am I a naughty girl daddy?

Do I make you mad every time I sing you a song?

I do it because you are my favorite

Not mommy

I love her too

I just love you more

Please forgive me

Happy Father's Day♡" my father read the poem out loud then looked at me with tears falling out of his eyes.

"You do not make me angry my sweetheart, daddy loves you more than mommy too." my father said, I wiped off his tears and then gave him a big hug.

"I love you too daddy" I replied.

(Present day)

I reminisce about that memory of my father, he did not like me writing or singing to him but he did love me. I was young so he probably did not want to hurt my feelings. He was the best father ever and I remember how close we both used to be. Now he does not hide how much he hates art. It is like my father died and I miss him so much.

"Haya! come have your breakfast." my mom called out to me interrupting my thoughts.

"Good morning mother and father," I said and took my seat.

"Good morning my sweet angel." my mother replied and I turn to look at my dad who already started having his breakfast without us praying first. I guess before I leave for Cape town this is how things are going to be around here.

"So how did you sleep, dear? oh and has Ruby also received her results? how did she perform?" my mom asked breaking the silence at the breakfast table by asking about my bestfriend Ruby.

"Oh, you are best mom! you just reminded me. Ruby! she is leaving for Paris tomorrow, I am supposed to go to her house today to see her off at the airport with her mom tomorrow morning." I replied leaving the breakfast table to go pack my things.

"Why did you not tell me sooner Haya?! Your dad and I have plans today and we can not take you there." my mom said standing at my bedroom door.

"Mom but I have to go, I have to see her! She is going overseas! God knows when I am going to see her again" I said in a very sad tone. I stopped packing and sat on my bed. I suddenly started crying out loud.

"Oh, my dear Haya, why are you crying my angel?" my mom immediately approached my bed and sat next to me while caressing my back.

"Ruby is leaving mom, she is leaving me all alone. She is the only true friend I have, she has always had my back and I do not want to lose her." I said while sobbing.

"Oh my innocent darling daughter, these are the real lessons your friendship is about to go through. This is the chance to see if you guys love each other. Is the distance going to break or make you guys stronger?" my mom said standing up to leave my room.

My mom has never been the one to talk a lot or console me when I am crying or hurting over things. She always gives me advice and lets me decide. It is my life and she has always let me live it...that has truly strengthened me a lot because when I make bad decisions I have no one to blame but myself. I have learned so much at a very young age, it is fair to say that I am a wise young lady.

Sometimes I wish she would pamper me and tell me everything is going to be okay because I remember she did that a lot when I was young. I was mommy's little darling daughter until I got my period.

(7 years ago)

"Mom there has been dark stuff on my panties, it started before we went to uncle's funeral. I did not tell you because I did not think it was anything serious but then it got worse..." I said while my mom was unpacking our luggage.

"Let me see" my mom immediately stopped what she was doing and slowly approached me.

"Look, mom, do you see this? what is this?" I asked my mom in a very scared tone.

"Oh my goodness Haya! you have started with your period. Go take a bath and then come. I will show you how to wear a pad." my mom said with a smile on her face.

She showed me how to wear a pad and then told me to sit next to her on the bed.

"Haya, you have started with your period now. This means that you are a woman who can give birth to babies but that does not mean you are no longer a child. You are not to touch any boys or else you will fall pregnant. You must start taking good care of yourself and being a lady." my mom said to me in a very serious tone.

"I am only 12 years old, how can I give birth to babies? I heard they come out of the vagina and mine is small to give birth to babies. I will not touch any boys from now on, I do not want to fall pregnant" I said to myself.