Chapter 11: the bomb exploded

Wist

The next day I woke up and got dressed to meet Loncent, and get everything done. It took 30 minutes to wear casual clothes and do my hair. I looked totally amazing and stunning but totally natural with no makeup. I actually don't like makeup or girls covering their face with it to cover all the flaws they feel damage their beauty or others who modify every detail they have in their face like his shape, nose size, even others making their lips seem full and big like 2 big bananas.... Yeah really weird. What do they feel? Low self-esteem? Want to impress a guy?

When I descended, I found him wearing a white shirt and black jeans. He looked handsome, and he smiled when he saw me, but his eyes seemed to tell more than happy. Was he attracted to me? I have had a lot of guys asking for my hand in marriage but I refused all of them because I never felt comfortable with them. The marriage system in Egypt was mostly arranged for business, or acquaintance, or guys liking my feisty way and uneasy manner that they want to get to go out with me but they couldn't until it was official, you know Egyptian traditions to keep a good reputation to the girl, like she is well-mannered, not a total.... You know going out with guys and who knows what happens?

Me going out with him would be misunderstood so, we decided that each one of us should take his car so, we would be separated, and he actually agreed with me; he was totally a gentleman unlike his brother.

These papers took nearly 5 minutes, then he turned to me smirking, a very cute one. Did I just like his smirk? Like he was just telling me told you so.

He said after that

"You know I have done you a big favour and risked a lot.... "He was saying that in his beautiful half smile "so I must invite you to an ice-cream that we could eat on the coast by the sea that would be amazing, we could talk about a lot of things I want to know.

So would you give me that honour to escort you, and talk to you? "He said that with an innocent puppy smile that a puppy uses while nagging his master. I had to thank him so, I had to accept and to have it my treat.

"I accept but it would be my treat, you won't pay for it, and don't start saying you're the man and all those oldy stuff. "

"Wow, too feisty! Totally like it, girl. Okay, since that would be the only way to go out with you. I really want to get to know you. "

Each one of us took his car and we headed to the stunning Alexandria sea, the sea looked astonishing, all the waves crashing together like all my feelings that were all being mixed together, the one that was dominant was the overwhelm I felt while I was around him. We stopped in a parking lot. He came running to open the door for me, what an adorable man, I always wanted a man to respect me and know my preciousness like I am his life jewel, but is he the one?

"Totally friendly what you did, right? Not like a man trying to impress a woman? Because FYI that's what they do in movies and even helping them like what you did for me with the paper to persuade me to go out with you. Even mentioning ice-cream that every girl likes, pretty everyone. Want to explain yourself? "

"You're going to be difficult. Right? Like you understand every move boys make for you to like them, would you please try to act like you don't know my plan? "

"Okay, I'll try but you're so easy to get "

"So, what is your favourite ice-cream flavour? I love chocolate"

"Vanilla "

"While eating chocolate you feel a whole world to explore like it is a mix of vanilla and cacao. It is like life; never dark. There's always hope for a better chance, even if it got a lot more complicated than the way we imagined it would be. There's always a light that guides you to the real you. The good one you hide from the people because you fear being judged vulnerable or weak instead of sentimental and human. God characterised us with our thinking and the feelings that differentiate us and make us special. You why vanilla? "

"It's pure. Like the one, I wanted to be but life had another decision, she chose complicacy, trouble, hate, maltreatment and a lot of other things but they seemed to actually affect me in a good way after all. I became who I am: strong, wise and a mystery to everyone. "

" Could you forget for once what you lived and try to live your life like you should; see your present and don't escape from it by forcing yourself in your past. "

I was shattered from that past that I would spend days crying until I started writing songs to get this pain of my chest. One day I wrote this...

I am feeling expired

And I am tired

I think I am gonna run away

From this old and scary

Present

I wish it's just present

Not always

Not always

I think am gonna feel okay

After all.. All that pain

I feel it is.. Inside of me

And it's the time that it should be

Disappeared... Oh uh......

Disappeared

Cuz the people used to hurt me and I cried

But I got stronger more than what you think in your mind

I am not a thing with it you can hide

All your crimes and if you thought so you're so blind

I was so weak

And you come and you sneak

You get so close to me

And then you leave me

I wanna tell you how I feel

And trust you're gonna fear me

I even composed the music and sang it with my sister, Intellia. She's the best, she writes hers too and she is really talented. Was I eluding from my life? Was I losing my lifetime?

" Could I tell you a story? " he said breaking the silence.

" Sure. "

"There was that playboy who gets what he wants but, the girl he truly wanted since the first moment he laid his eyes on, is different and hard to get. He tried to change since he came back to Egypt and saw her. He began praying because he knew she liked Guys known with piety, gentleness, verdict and all good stuff. Do you think he is worth being loved after hurting all of those girls' hearts? Will he get his happy ending after ruining all those fairytales for other girls? Is he even worth having that pure girl? "

" Look if he is truly sorry and he truly changed, then I guess he deserves a second chance of course. But he should really ask for God's forgiveness but about the girl, it's up to her; she has to know all the stuff he did and choose whether to stay with him or not.

Like what Hardin did with Tessa in this well-known book "After", she forgave him and they stayed together; well I disagreed with this ending and all their story, I never saw love in it, how is this love? Being hurt over and over again by a person just because you love him? Sacrificing yourself: your real being? What did she think of herself? Well, I am a total feminist!

And about the guy you’re talking about, he should change for himself, not for a girl; he could die before even getting her, and before changing. What would he say I would have changed for her? This is his life: his test in faith, in work, in patience, in endurance. If he truly changed then if she left him, he would keep the change. "

" The problem is that this guy never showed her any feelings. Since he saw her picture that his mom was showing him, he admired her. Every little detail about her. She never realised he went to her country to just watch her from a restaurant on the main street that she walked along, each time she had tutoring lessons. He just watched her as the whole world stopped and wished he could scream to her he loved her so much....... You know who this guy is?...... "

His phone started ringing.....

"He is..... " he was so nervous like he was about to announce a new law in the Parliament

" You know........ never mind, he wants it as a secret. I really should take this I think. " he answered it " Hey, Prouker! What's up? "....... "Mom told you well yeah I am with her "....... "No you're not coming! ".......... "You bastard she doesn't want you here "....... "We're only eating ice-cream and then returning back home"......... "She isn't your property? "....... "Stop being selfish" He said all that while being away so that I won't hear but what is that? Who were they talking about? They said … Ice-cream! Were they talking about me? Fighting about me?

"We should go!"

It surely is about me now.

When we arrived, of course, he let me arrive before him, waited 10 minutes then came so there weren't any suspicions. He was truly kind, respectful to me, and cared a lot about my dignity and reputation. I really liked him but that never erased the distrust I had to his family. Even to his past. But that wasn't the end of this, when Loncent arrived I was getting my bag from the car, getting the documents and searching for a paper Intellia asked for that was related to a blog or something like that so I was late and he went to the stairs and I found the paper and headed after him but I was surprised when I heard this......

"You are such a bastard!

Why are you hearing your mother's orders?

You're still trying to ruin her but I won't let you like I never did. You thought why I always delayed you descending on her private tutoring lessons, I feared you would ruin her future like what mom told you to do? Why are you so much like demons? What have they done to you? What have they even done to have this family? And to be treated like that? But guess who is talking? the one with no family!

You ruined my life; you were the worst oldest brother! You made me drink, know a lot of girls and treat them like precious jewels till I get what I wanted from them then leave them when they're worth nothing and ruin their reputation. Even mother doesn't ever try to guide us after we changed to the worst after we became rich.

Where are those innocent boys who went each day to the mosque to pray? Those who were kind and all the people loved them and treated them well? We lost everything because of our parents who lost their lives and sons to have money. But, this girl you're talking about is my last shot; my last chance to be a better person, to find the real me, to be forgiven from God, to do something good before dying, and to die happy and feeling loved by an angel like this woman. I love her. Do you get that? And if she chooses you after all, because of your ways, if you ever break her heart, I will break you in half. Got it, man? "

" I let you say what you ever wanted, insulting me, and threatening me in this way, but what would you do if you married her, would you oblige her to make us the owner of our apartment or wouldn't you? Would you choose her over your mom? "

" Yes, I would choose her over the world because actually what we have isn't a family. It's pretty much a gang where I don't and won't belong. I would actually like to take her and travel with her to another country where none of you would be planning for a new manipulation. "

"Trust me, I am not that person you're talking about but she rejected me a lot so I really like her spunkiness. I truly am not in love with her like you lover innocent boy. Then, it's a bet! She would fall in love with me without even noticing you and after I win, you could enter to her life again while she's jaded to help her, maybe she'd stop neglecting you. "

" You belligerent! If you ever do that, I will warn her and you will be the one jaded trust me."

“You idiot! I’m helping you, stupid. She won’t look at you in any other way unless her heart gets broken and sees you helping her out!” He said laughing sarcastically…

“You’re the stupidest and a featherbrained guy! If that’s the case, I don’t want to be with her because, it includes hurting her. I would die and not hurt her!”

“Well, I’ll do that whether you choose to be her rebound or not, little one!”

“One day, I’ll surely get my revenge on you for ruining me and all the ones I loved my whole life!”

"Shush it now, because she might come and hear us. "

What was happening? The world fell apart; Prouker was betting on me?

He's the worst person I have ever known in my life. I hate him and men should know that when they try to break any woman's heart, they're the one getting hurt after all. So this is your turn Prouker and trust me you won't like it. Surely because I was heartbroken before by my dad and his family then I am going to think about something he won't even imagine.

I stayed 5 minutes then headed to the stairs to go to the apartment to drown in my thoughts and plans.

But of course, I cried...