Fifteen

Crystal smiled as she walked into the school. She was happy to be back at school after two days. After the call yesterday, she was so wanting to go to school, knowing she would see him there.

Walking to her class, she wanted to see him or maybe catch a glimpse of him. She wanted to have that talk he said he would have with her.

She had missed him....she would not lie about that fact. She entered her class and dropped her bag. She couldn't wait for the school day to begin.

She heard the bell for assembly and walked out with the rest of the students. Entering the assembly hall, she didn't waste time in locating her line. She sighed as she looked around for him.

He must be here right? He had to be.

If she could have just a glimpse of him, she would be equally satisfied. At least he was here.

It didn't take so long for her to spot him. He was at her left towards the far end of the hall. He looked more handsome than ever, seeing his face despite how far he was. Her heart slipped a beat as she admired him. He was beautiful.

He is always beautiful.

She looked away, having that feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had to control herself if not, she would be quite sure she would lose her sanity because of him.

She had to keep herself in check.

She watched as he walked out and stood on the position close to the Principal. It seemed while in her dazed state the Principal had called him to the front. She hadn't still seen him but now she did, her eyes widened.

He looked so.....angry?

She looked down and then to her side. Why was he angry?

And then the Principal sent him back to the line. He seemed angry, not even looking at the girls who looked at him in utter admiration. Something was wrong....she could feel it.

It didn't take long before the assembly was dismissed. But all through it, Crystal didn't hear a thing. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Why was she worried?

She couldn't help but wonder if everything was okay with him?

And then their eyes locked. He was looking at her. She couldn't see his eyes from afar but she could feel it...the anger.

Was he angry.....at her?

She stopped looking at him and looked away. Her heart started beating faster as she looked everywhere but him. Sighing out of relief when they had been dismissed finally, she marched with the others out of the hall and started walking fast as soon as she was out of the hall.

She didn't know why but she wanted to get away from him right now. That wasn't the Justin she knew....that was a monster. But even at her fast pace he caught up with her and pulled her with him to a corner. She bit her lips as she looked into his eyes again.

They were as beautiful as ever, but they became darker..... too dark but mesmerising...because he was angry.

"You" He said, as he continued looking at her in anger. But there was yet another emotion....pain?

"Just...Justin" she said as a tear fell from her eyes. Why did it hurt to see him like this? Why?

She didn't know if she should or shouldn't....she didn't know why or how, but she reached out with her two hands and cupped his face. He seemed to relax under her touch as his anger seem to slowly dissipate.

"It is okay Justin, it will be okay"

Justin freezed, not knowing how his anger dissipated the moment she touched him. He held her closely, his hands on her arms as he looked into her eyes.

He might have had emotional scars, but he is still bleeding because he believes his heart is so strong. The pain he felt had a biological purpose, to teach, to educate him away from unhealthy patterns and relationships. He had been pushing back against pain for so long, medicating with friendship, with romantic notions, yet it returns out in his weaker moments, devastating his mind.

To keep repeating this pattern seems to only prolong it, keep the pain underneath when in truth it must rise.

She is doing it again....

She is making him fall again.

No he can't.... he can't fall for her.

All these feelings.....it was the first time he was feeling what he felt for her. He knew there was more to these feelings but he didn't want to accept it.

She is the reason for his dad's suffering, the cause of everything. She was the reason he was made to suffer when he was still a little child. She is the reason for everything.

And right now he wanted to hate her. He wanted to show her what a monster he is. Gripping her hands tightly, he continued to look into her eyes, showing her how hurt.....how angry he was.

She had hurt him so badly.....and he didn't even have any strength to punish her.

"Justin" His hands were still on his cheeks, cuppling them so softly.

"Justin" She whispered again, not taking her eyes off his for even a minute. Her heart wanted so badly to comfort him and give him reassurance that she was here....right here...

And she will always be there, no matter what.

"What is wrong Justin?" She whispered again after he had closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her hands while it lasted. He wanted this moment to last for as long as it could.

Opening his eyes again, he looked away. He had to get a grip on himself. He had to remind himself that this girl is his enemy.

"Why are you after me?"

"Justin...."

"Answer the damn question...why are you after me?" He asked again, his hands holding her tightly, making her whimper. But he did nothing...he only made it worse by holding her tighter.

"Just....Justin i don't know what you are talking about. You...you are hurting me please" She said as a tear trickled down, showing her pain. But he seemed to not even care. His anger blinded him and all he could see was his enemy.

"You don't know what i am talking about?"

"Justin please...it hurts"

"Why Crystal...i thought you were different...i thought you were special" He said as tears continued to flow. He was damn hurting her and she knew her bandages would be soaked with her blood.

"I never knew you did think i was special"

"That is not the case Crystal"

"I know"

"Then tell me what i want to hear"

"I love you" Justin freezed again, his grip on her arm becoming weak. It couldn't be.

"Crystal...."

"I'm serious Justin, i love you. I can't hide it anymore it's killing me. I am tired of keeping my feelings at bay. I don't care if you like me or not, i just wanted you to know" She said in tears, looking at him with love and affection.

"No Crystal...you are joking right?"

"I feel more connected to you than any person I have ever met. I love the feel of your arms, your touch, your embrace, but it kills me. I get lost in these beautiful blue eyes of yours, happy to drown, yet I want to breathe.

I know your reasons; I respect and understand them, support you. I won't walk away because I want some badly to stay by your side, but my coping with this can't ever be guaranteed. I might not be as close as other female ,i understand you. There are some gaps that are meant to be filled but life never gives us a choice.

"Yes, I say "I love you," and you could say you "care." If my emotions are stronger than yours, why is it you that i can't let go? I need your honesty; I think I deserve the truth"

"Do..do you love me?"

Justin held her arms tighter as he took in what she had said. She loves him...that means she felt the same way he did. For some reason there was happiness in his heart, because she had told him what his ear really wanted to hear.

If only she knew that she was the only woman he was interested in. He wanted her to know he had eyes for her and her alone.

Crystal whimpered again, causing Justin to jolt back into reality.

"My...my hand Justin...it hurts" She said as Justin looked down with his eyes wide opened. He freed her hands and held it carefully, not wanting to hurt her anymore. The bandage was soiled and Crystal looked a lot weak.

And then he began to worry.

"I'm...I'm sorry i didn't realize...are you okay?" He asked, reaching his hands up to clean her tears.

"It...it hurts"

"It's okay. Come on let me take you to the Ptincipal's office and dress your wounds" He said, carefully tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Justin"

"Yes?"

"Do...do you feel the same way that i feel for you?"

He didn't know what to say. He could not tell her the truth....he couldn't tell her that he felt just the same way she felt. Seeing her looking up to him with hope in those eyes of hers made him heave a sigh of frustration.

He loves her...he knew he loves her so much. But he did not want to tell her. She is his enemy. He didn't want to break her heart and see those tears in her eyes again. He wanted her to be happy.

Why did it have to be you Crystal? Why?

He didn't know what to say or if he should say anything. He was so deep in his thoughts that he stiffened when he felt her arms around him.

She was hugging him.

Justin had been hugged before, but never like this since his mother passed. There was something so warm, something that felt right, smelt right. He let his body sag, his muscles become loose. Somehow, In that embrace he felt his worries loose their keen sting and his optimism raise its head from the dirt. Perhaps the hope had been there all along, but without some love it was trapped, like crystals in a stone.

In her embrace the world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind, no rain. Crystal's mind was at peace. Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free. She felt her body press in, soft and warm. This was the love she'd waited for, prayed for. She inwardly thanked God and hugged all the tighter. A love like this was to be cherished for life. Finally, she was home.

She snuggled in when he felt his hands hold her, pulling her closer to him.She felt him brush her hair back with his beautiful fingers and kiss her gently...on her hair. It felt right....it did feel right.

The feeling of emptiness settled in her stomach when he gently pulled away. He smiled at her as he cuppled her cheeks, his head still roaring with thoughts.

He couldn't hurt her....he couldn't bear to hurt her because he loves her.

He kissed her forehead and smiled back at her.

"Come on i still need to change your bandage or you would be late for class" He whispered, taking her left hand in his.

He left her to the Principal's office and helped her with her bandage, making sure he changed it with care. He walked her back to her class and watched her enter her class before he did.