CHAPTER 13

I don't know the last time I went to church, especially after the virus. There were rules of social distancing and churches were closed. It's Sunday and today I will at least try and talk to God for a while. I have made several mistakes in my life. I need to talk to him and I will feel much better.

I also get to talk to my family it has been a while and I miss them. They are enthusiastic this time and they are still fairing on so well. I tell my dad how it is tiresome to go to class then work my shift or vice versa and he insists that I will get used to it. I talk to Elsa and Alasdair and I found out he just got injured while playing football but it was a minor injury. They were getting ready for the games that would be next term. I will try and be there for them as they go for the final competitions since they have been qualifying to the end for the last two seasons.

I am glad they are all fine, especially Alasdair since I was scared that my dream would be real. I have been so well for the past week. I think Derek's plan worked with mine too. Talking of Derek I even remember the tattoo again. I saw it on the entrance door and I had even forgotten. What exactly does it symbolize? I will do this research actually before I forget again. It is the only tattoo he had I guess since I have never seen any other. He is usually in shorts and for the times I have seen him without a shirt I have never seen any other. It was somewhere under his left shoulder and there is no way one could see it. His shirts would always hide it and most men I have seen with tattoos usually ensure that they can be seen. I can't see that tattoo anywhere. It has to be somewhere since I have seen it in two places now.

On the good news side, the Cover Magazine was out and the latest season of Ted Walker's brand was out. I couldn't believe I was that beautiful. I never thought I would be so public. They had a social media page and when I was looking at that stunning photo the comments on the social media were amazing. Almost everyone wanted such clothes I was in and I found out why they really needed beautiful people to advertise for them. Ted and Kathleen had collaborated and the money that was deposited in my account was a large sum. I had even forgotten that I was a part-time model. In the comments, people were also requesting my social media page. I had nothing on it, no pictures and Ted has been asking me to start posting and also make it public since it will be a good source of even other collaborations.

My twin siblings were so excited. My mom was so scared that I will get lost in the fame and what a view but I assured her that I had everything in the plan. Even though we were shooting it was during the weekends. I am already having enough money that I need and if this is just the start then I don't need to be doing the internship shift. It did help me get some skills and everything but I don't think I need the extra money. My dad still sends and Fashion is paying me twice the amount I get from the internship in a month. Mind you I had only worked for a weekend and I got the money considering I was a protégé.

I edited my page and put my email there in case anyone might need collaboration and I had so many photos. The ones that made us win the Gala and the brand only posted a few so I still had a few more professional one I could post. I posted the photos and I went offline. Ezze was so excited she kept looking at herself and showing herself off to us. This calls for another celebration. I have a very great spirit today, I go ahead and move my things from the other house and fully move in here.

We pass by and get some drinks and tomorrow I will go and demand a break from school from the internship. After everything, I get my phone and I have so many notifications. I am already having hundreds of thousands of likes. My followers have drastically increased and I don't even know what I feel anymore since this is beyond excitement. These are people from all over the world. What will I even do with all this fame?

Ezze says that the first time this happened to her it wasn't similar to this but she got a few interviews. This was even better than the last and she can't wait for the interview requests. Looks like this life I chose is one worth living. This life did cost me some price but I think I can pay that price.

Monday mornings of course felt lazy and I dragged myself, preparing myself to attend the lecture. I kept a promise to my mother and I promised her that the fame won't carry me and I forget about the school which was the main thing that brought me here. Some of the classmates who never even paid attention to me and whom I never even knew were complimenting me. Soon enough I might start walking with bodyguards since everyone wanted to interact with me.

Ezze wasn't wrong, we got three emails that Monday and there were three television stations that were requested to interview us. Ezze was the one advising me since she has been interviewed before. She chose the one that had more to offer and had the largest audience reaching to them. The comments were so many that I couldn't read all of them. We replied to their email and we earned ourselves an interview this weekend.

These are very big moves and I was very nervous. We didn't want to disclose our address and so we drove ourselves and they welcomed us. Make-up was done by them and we had some dinner before the interview. I still didn't believe I was alive and it can be seen across the world. It was a perfect one and we enjoyed ourselves a lot. Most of them didn't believe that it was my first time and they insisted I was lying. Of course, we dodged the single or dating part since what we had with Ezze wasn't really a thing it was once. "You can't be single with all that beauty and brains Everett" the male interviewer was saying as he laughed and I insisted that we weren't to speak of personal matters.

I never dreamt of being in an interview ever in my life but my life was taking several amazing turns and I was very interested in all that was happening. Fame was both a good thing and a bad thing. People always want to know about you and that's where there is usually no privacy. After the interview was over we did have some talk with other journalists and presenters and they were really fun to be around.

Of course, people were stalking me and I found the video of our prom date where Mar was carrying me go viral. 'She is not single guys' and a crying emoji was the caption on the video. This is where everything was now going wrong. How do I get to make the people shut up?

A retweet read "She is single after killing her own boyfriend, he visited her and she sent us a dead body home with a crafted story". Cassie Ryan was the person who retweeted. This was Maritim's sister. What have I even caused myself? I am sure this story won't stop here. My life was now ruined, the retweets were so many and I had to stop reading the tweets since I will lose my mind. I thought I was done with this story, just after I am done handling nightmares the grave is opened again.

My mother called and she was just saying that she knew this fame will go ahead and ruin my life. Suddenly, Ted Walker called Ezze and he was asking what news he was hearing. This is where my life was falling apart. They were good friends and so she told him the whole story and he promised to give me a good lawyer as long as I say what he asked me to do.

This was a hectic week, the police started investigating and this led us to takin ourselves there. I talked to my dad and my mom's blood pressure was high. I was so stressed now. Not only did my bosses know what I did but nearly the whole world. Ryan's family must be so happy now. A single comment on social media can bring you down. The evidence that was gathered was brought out and it wasn't tampered with. At least this will bring proof that there are fingerprints on the pieces of glass. I started remembering the vivid picture of that scene. The officers who took care of the story were to be questioned on why they didn't take the right procedure of it and why they tried burying the story.

I was running my life and Ezze's career here. I know that there has to be justice but at the same time, I was innocent. I hadn't planned to kill him. My mom was now hospitalized since she was unable to carry the news. The police would do a one-week investigation and I will get to be arraigned in court.

I have been in this dream for a long time. At one time I am happy about the choice I made to come here and another minute I have so many regrets. All this came from my decision to accept fame. Had I stayed low profile I wouldn't have been here. My siblings aren't even attending school since they were in the same school as Cassie and I am sure they won't have peace of mind. They will be attacked by other students for their sister was a murderer. The news aired this story and I felt like dying. It is so easy if I die right now. I can't really bear all this shame and blame. My school won't take me back even though I get to win the court and be freed.

I don't think my life will be the same again. How do I get to face all these people? How do I look into people's eyes and not see them hating at me? I have caused shame to my family and this will cost them a lot. As much as they didn't commit the crime themselves, when a murderer is associated with a family it is hard for anyone from the family to get jobs or even be accepted in schools. I had all these suicidal thoughts and I know it won't solve all the problems especially those that I left my family with but eventually, this guilt will kill me.

Everyone was trying to convince me that we can beat it and Ted had got the best lawyer and I was to be arraigned in the court. I just needed to see my dad but he wouldn't be there for me. He was taking care of my mom and my siblings. I was supposed to be a great role model to them but look where I am at. I knew that Maritim was the one that deserved this scholarship since we were able to afford the tuition and everything. I worked so hard to beat him and got the chance to get the scholarship. If only I wasn't selfish then all this wouldn't be happening. Everyone knew the Ryan family since they were distributing bread to the estate and also cakes. With all that multi-tasking, studying, and still helping his dad, a scholarship was the best reward he would get. I knew he was targeting the scholarship and I worked even harder to ensure I get it.

If this gets worse than it is Ezze might also lose the job and the police who helped us through will get arraigned too. Let us not forget Derek who is also part of this in a way. If the police get to talk and even bring up Derek's story then we are all doomed. I was so stressed the whole week and I had black rings on my eyes for not getting sleep at all. I had been crying all week too and on top of that my father wasn't even replying to my calls nor texts. I try reaching my siblings and they also aren't responding. I am at a fix, I don't know what has happened at home and I can't go and visit them. I don't even think they can grant me access to a plane ticket right now. This investigation was taking a week and it is enough time to gather a lot of information.

We showed up at the court and I had the lawyer, Ted was there too, Bartram, Ezze, and Derek. Devon did want to attend it. I felt like this would be the last time I see these people. Devon did believe that there has to be justice, the same way he tried to tell his brother the other time. I totally understand that he doesn't want to witness all this and take part in denying the family justice. He was there as the lawyer came home and asked me several questions and asked me to tell him the whole story. He advised me on what to say and how to say it so that we would survive this. I had understood everything he said. My family hasn't reached out to me yet.

I am lucky they didn't put me into custody as I waited for this hearing. I was shocked to see Mr. Ryan, Maritim's dad with his lawyer there. I panicked and he had changed. He was a close friend of my dad and I felt guilty for making them part. He has helped us in many ways especially when my sister had been lost. I clearly remember how Maritim himself helped us achieve making the prince boy apologize. These are just a few of what this family had helped us through. I saw the pain in his eyes of losing the only son he had and I don't think I would lie today. I also don't know how he was able to afford a plane ticket for his and the lawyer and also pay the lawyer. Or were the police on his side, this is a story that was trending and I am sure Cassie did get the fans supporting her and claiming for justice.

I can hear my mom's cry in my head and my siblings are crying too. I ask for a few minutes to speak with my family and my dad isn't picking up. We try with Ted's phone and he says that this isn't the time. I have caused them enough problems and right now they are just focused on saving mom. This news broke my heart more than it was crashed. I didn't even have the strength to stand or talk. I am just seventeen years old and my life is already crashing. My family is even abandoning me. I am the one who caused all this, and I have to pay the price just so that all would at least be normal to the people I dragged in here. "You dug the grave yourself".

The court ruling began and they charged me with murder. I was told to plead guilty and leave the rest of the part to the lawyer after explaining what happened in the story. I had a clear picture of everything and I narrated everything as it was skipping the part where we called the police to hide the story.

Mr. Ryan took his turn and explained how the body was brought to his doorstep and the story he was given. He says they conducted an autopsy and the results were just as I had explained. All was going well until the Judge asked if I plead guilty or not guilty.

There was some silence and I hesitated. All eyes were on me and I lost it. Tears were flowing and I just kept hearing my mom cry. "Guilty" I heard myself say. I saw the disappointment in my team's faces. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let Mr. Ryan go back to Ney York without justice. I did have to serve the sentence and pay the price. By doing this I also saved Ezze and Derek. If I succeeded and escaped then would the story really be forgotten? The Ryan's have done so much for us and I also did it for the love I still had for Maritim. This will maybe save my mother. The more I kept escaping the sentence the more my loved ones were in danger. I saw Ezze break down I didn't have the words for them.

"I, therefore, grant you a two years sentence. You will be put in the juvenile for a few months and once you are eighteen years of age you will be transferred to the main prison where you will go for the remaining months. Mercy can be offered to you by reducing your sentence with a year if Mr. Ryan here agrees to that." The judge says and all the eyes are turned to Mr. Ryan who doesn't want to speak. His lawyer stands and refuses to reduce the year and says that the family will be contented with the two-year sentence and they will feel better since some justice will be achieved for their son.

I was handcuffed and some security guard showed me the way. I was put in some cell before going to the correctional facility. Ezze and my friends came to see me before they took me away. They kept asking why I said guilty but nothing would be changed at this point. The Ryan's refused to reduce the year or even choose to forgive me. Maritim was wrong too and Ezze kept insisting that she won't give up until they get me out. They were so bitter and angry but I had no words to say to them. I felt like I had to go through this so that I would also have my peace. I am glad I have such caring friends, now that my family was so embarrassed to have me as their daughter and sister. They took me away and I have never seen any of these people crying. They dragged me away from them and I left Ezze on the floor. She was still crying and I couldn't bear the pain I caused her. I told her not to do anything since she might put herself in trouble.

I don't know if they would allow visitors but I hoped to see them again. I was put in the cell for twenty minutes before they put me in a truck. They weren't harsh on me they just let me move in my peace. At the gate of the correctional facility was when I realized it isn't a dream. It was now getting real and I started wishing I had committed suicide. There were other young girls who were staring at me. I was shown my room where I would spend my nights and given some uniforms to be in. The air in here was stuffy and I think if I will die then it will be in this place.

I had to join the others outside as they did their duties. I wasn't given any work to do but I just stayed on a bench and thought about my life. They had pitied me a bit and offered to still let me go on with my studies online. The only problem was who will pay my fees. I don't even think I am in the right mind to study. This environment doesn't even allow me to breathe properly.

I have heard stories about these correctional places and they aren't really a place you ever want to be in. There are people in here who don't care about what happens to them hence they do what they please. They seem to have finished their duties and they are sent to go have their lunch. I follow them since we have to be in one place. The food that is served is one you don't want your eyes to see leave alone for your mouth to chew. There are many options, you either eat or stay hungry since the food will never change. Up to now, I haven't said a word to anyone. I am in the queue and the girls in front of me are making jokes and they are laughing at their stories. How long have they been here to really have such a good time together? They get served and they are complaining that they have been served less food and I even want to throw up at the food. I don't even think they noticed that I am new. I don't know where to sit and one of them calls and asks me to sit with them.

"You will get used but for today we can excuse you. We can have your food since I know you won't even have a bite" one of them says. I push the plate towards her and the other one who is seated beside me tells Tracy to return my food. Actually, I notice that the names are written on our garments and I read Tracy's, Lucy and the one seated beside me was Gracy. I didn't check but I heard Tracy calling her. Gracy asked her to return my food and Tracy asked again if she takes the food and I nod.

I watch them eat and the food is actually so gross. I don't know I will survive today leave alone the two months before I go to the lion's den itself. I can't believe I will celebrate my eighteenth birthday here. Gracy tries engaging me in a conversation and Tracy asks her to leave me alone for a while. Lucy is quietly seated eating her meal. I have always encountered quiet people and they always have more to say. I don't know the day I will get to speak but when I do I will ask her and the others too.

We are the 3 CY's. Everyone knows us here and we run the place. How did quiet Lucy run this place? Or what did they mean by running the place? Tracy was quite built and she did have somebody that could fight. They give me some experiences of how they had to adapt since this environment is not for the weak. This is where you learn to be strong and learn that to survive you have to fight. Mostly after lunch, there wasn't much to do, some were playing, and some were just chilling, working out, or doing what they pleased. They asked where I was placed as a place of rest and I don't even remember the name nor the way. Lucy laughs and that's the first time she has opened her mouth. "Don't worry we will find you a place". She says after laughing.

The day came to an end, I hadn't eaten anything even before leaving the house. It felt like that was another day. I was so nervous to eat anything and the lunch here was so pathetic. The CY's assured me that the food will never change or get better. The portion is just what changed from day today. It was around six in the evening and it was time to take a bath. I was used to privacy nut that was to be a vocabulary I will always have as an imagination. There was mass bathing and you wouldn't wait for them to finish so you could shower since the guards would come with lashes and rush you out.

I know I just seemed to be fresh here and the CY's saved me from this but it came with a price. Looks like from today, I have so many prices to pay. "I can look at you and I see that you come from a family that has money, I don't know why you are here but we will know that later. Every morning we always hit the gym and you can join us there and take your bath after the workout. Anyway, that's not the price we just need you to get brave and cover for us. You have to help us take duty as we go get cocaine since I know you can't do that. We will also require you to keep it for us since no one can suspect that you can do that. You will get your privacy and on top of that you will never get hard duties to carry out that is if you get duties." Tracy says.

In case I get caught with the cocaine I will serve another two years here but there is a possibility I don't get caught. I am just storing it that's all. I get to have privacy and just wash the gym. Compared to what I saw a team do today I just have to accept. We go have supper and I at least taste the food. I don't know how to swallow it but I have to. I need to feed, I need to start getting used to this environment. I am going to be here for a while and I have to start adapting.

It has been a week and I still haven't been sleeping peacefully. Every night I sleep and wake up hoping that my dad will come to pick me from this place. I wish my mom who I am not sure how she is doing, will wake up one day and miss her daughter. Each night I slept wishing and praying but I gave up. I was so mad at them and I even had to forget that I had a family. They were doing so well when I told them but when it went public they switched up. A much as I wasn't getting bullied everything here didn't entice me at all. The real nightmare was awaiting me, The Main prison wasn't a joke. I know I will find life threats there and might even lose my mind.

Here they didn't really allow visitors anytime, only after a month and not everyone was assured of being visited. In my third week was when the visiting week was allowed. I had friends who would visit and I waited to see someone. After hours of waiting, I gave up. I was with CY's who didn't even wait for anyone to visit them since they knew they wouldn't be visited. "What led you here pretty?" Tracy asked.

It has been a while since I said these words, I explain to them what happened and leave the haunting and physical pain part. Nothing can scare them here, I am sure they have met all types of lawbreakers here and they themselves are one. I ask them the same and Tracy goes first.

"I have selling cocaine since I was sixteen. I was charged with overdosing on a client and she died. Well, that wasn't the first one but that was when I was caught. I have done it for about six months and it was to provide for my younger sister." her voice lowers a bit, "I tried my best so she isn't taken away from me but I was eventually caught and brought here and I am sure they took her away. I am here for two and a half years and I swear when I get out of here after I turn eighteen I will ensure I get her." she almost lets the tears flow and I really see the pain. She was actually turning eighteen a day after me and it means that we will part. Gracy and Lucy also react as I did and it seems they have never had this story before.

Lucy gives her story, "I was born the only girl at our home and my parents didn't want a girl in their house. I was brought up being mistreated, with no protection and I was even secluded from my own brothers and they were even taught to hate me. I grew up and I was just strong enough to endure all of this but I wished they would even give me up for adoption. So one day the wish came true and they gave me for adoption I was around twelve years. The family I went to was just a replica of the one I was in. The father had been trying to lure me into having sex with him for some time and I got prepared that anytime he tries I will protect myself. I wouldn't tell anyone since no one would believe me. So one day the wife had gone for a day or was it two and he tried to rape me and I had everything prepared. I had visualized what I will do when he tries and I had a knife and I stabbed him. I ran away but it was a small town and I was caught after three days. I want to really say that I have seen a home here and I have been here for five years and I don't even know where I will go when they release me. I think the correctional facility was paid to keep me here till I am eighteen years of age."

Looks like we are all going out here with no family no parent's support. As they leave I will be taken to prison and that made me have butterflies and made me so unwell. It is hard enough here I don't want to endure more pain and discomfort.

It is Gracy's turn and she is already hugging Lucy who is already crying remembering that experience. Sometimes what we do is protect ourselves. To survive you have to fight. These girls here have actually had a very hard experience. Life has tamed and taught them to be strong and they have never given up, they do seek that light at the end of the tunnel and I love the spirit. We hold our hands and we are urging ourselves to be strong.

"I," Gracy is already crying and I had fought to keep my tears in. "I was paying back the murder of my brother. They killed him in cold blood not even bothering to know if he was the one. We have always been discriminated against for being black and I knew the kid to the policeman behind the killing and so I killed him and I gave myself up." Defense and protection were all the stories were rotating about. The CY's had promised each other that they would go out there together and figure out their lives together just as they survived in here. I told them I will be transferred and they just promised to be the ones that visit me. Our birthdays were in the same week and we would celebrate together. We wouldn't have festivities but the love and the support we give ourselves till that time was enough.

We all brace up and go on with the day. We can get past this, we have gone through so much so we keep moving. Mostly it is me who is to wake up and move on. Maybe they were held up or something came up. I have tried working out nowadays and I got back to meditating. I was picking myself up and I was doing well. I have to see it myself, I have to appreciate myself and motivate myself. It's like I was preparing for war, I have to take care of myself since no one was going to do that. I have just me for myself and maybe once I get out I will get the CY's. I can't really expect much from anyone right now. If my own blood can abandon me, then no one is obliged to be there for me except myself.

I have been able to keep ruling and I am not that shaky girl I was when I came in here. Survival was the quest. There had been many fights in here and every week there was some group drama. Some girls were bullied and I was able to stand up for some of them. One month was gone, I was ready to face the shift and more so I was ready to celebrate my eighteen self. My CY's were leaving this week and I was leaving too but to the prison. They have been so good to me and I really love them for making this place not so much of hell. They were also the ones that made me grow up to become the stronger girl I am right now. By the time I am done with my sentence, I will go out there and be so brave to start my life all again.

I was the eldest, my birthday came first, it was the same visiting day and at least we would have some time with no duties to supervise. We are all in our place at the gym and having our conversations. I tell them I was once a model and they do believe it. They gave me the 'pretty' nickname and believed I was so pretty to be in here. I thought so too and I am still here anyway.

One of the guards calls me and I still don't believe that I have a visitor. Derek, Bartram, Devon, and Ezze were there. I still couldn't believe it. They were all there with gift bags and I even wonder if they will let me keep those gifts that these friends of mine brought. "We are here, they denied us access to see you last time saying that they were given instructions to never allow visitors for you. Not only did we get to visit but we get to go home with you." Bartram says as he keeps hugging me. 'Home' they said. They have been waiting for me for all this time and have never given up. Ezze kept her promise of never leaving me here. I am so teary and I really want them to elaborate on the going home part. How did they manage to save me from going into the lion's den which was the prison? You mean me and the CY's would soon be out of here. For them, it will just take a day and we can celebrate our eighteenth out of this place. They kept the battle going and forced the court to look at it the way it was meant to be. I was fighting for my life. The last two months have been the hardest in my life. I have cried myself to sleep for so many days. I want to ask them how my family was but they wouldn't know.

I think I can now go and face my family back to New York and know what's going on since their reaching out to me was something I should never wait for. Bartram promised to be there with me. I still have money in my account and I will help out the CY's and ensure they don't go back to prison. I knew that the day I was getting out of here was when I get transferred but it was different. They brought me clothes, shoes, chocolate, ice cream and all the goodies I missed. My stomach was shocked by the transition and I was even afraid it would hurt.

They were to put up a party for me and I asked them to wait so we can celebrate with the CY's. The dream came into reality and we were all free. We gave my friends the experience back there and at least we got to laugh about it since we were out of there. They were so united and always helped each other and I gave them some money and my number so that in case of anything my friends and I would come through.

It felt so good to sit on a couch, take a warm bath and sleep in a room. I had missed Ezze so much and I am glad she kept her promise. Ted was the one that pushed her for justice and he was a really nice guy. I don't know how much I owed him but it was a lot. I took some time to at least rest before getting the courage to face my family.