Chapter 8: How Is She?

The day had been miserable for me up to this point so far, if I was not going to lie to my self, as I had been so lost in my own head, and my own thoughts for most of the day, which was not usually a place that I wanted to be, as I knew that the more that I was like that, than the more that my thoughts, which we're usually normal thoughts, would soon turn in to a dark kind of thinking, which of course turned out to be such a way today, but that was not due to the fact that I had simply been thinking in my head all too much today, as it seemed to be more due to the fact that I had just been thinking dark before I had come to work.

It all started with the dreams that I had last night, as those seemed to be quite a bit dark, and quite a bit scary never the less, as the dreams really did not make all too much sense to me, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as in the dreams, it was simply just dark, which was not like a normal dream at all for me, as most dreams that I had, I at least got to see all of the surroundings that were around me, at least for the most part, which was not the case at all for that dream.

It was not just all dark how ever, as I could see at least a little bit of light, as it seemed like I was locked up in some sort of jail cell. I was not all too sure at all, as to why that was the case in the very first place at all any ways, as I knew that I had never been in one in my life at all. I had seen one a few times, but that was usually when I was a lot younger, and it was not like I had been purposely going out of my way to go and see a jail cell in the very first place any ways.

The jail cells now a days, they all had been torn down, or were just left empty, as it was a place that a lot of the homeless people liked to sleep at during the night, as it at least did a decent job at hiding them from all of the wind that blew during the night, as it was always oh so cold. I was grateful for the fact that I had a home, in the cruel world that we were in now, but I was not at all grateful for all that had happened to me in this world as of late, in the very first place any ways, never the less, as it all made me feel sick.

No... What really made me feel sick, was once again, the dream that I had last night, where I had been stuck in a jail cell, and there had been no where at all for me to go, and I had nothing to do in there. Well... I suppose that I did have some thing to do in there, though it was not some thing that I wanted to do, as I did my best as much as I possibly could to try to shake off all of the thoughts as to what it was that I had heard whilst I had been in that jail cell, but it was so hard for me to do, especially with what it was that had happened to me yesterday.

I heard the yelling, and the screeching of women and children, as it was clear that some thing terrible was going on with them, and that there was nothing that I could do to help them at the exact same time either. A lot of that to do with the fact that I knew that it all was just a dream, but at the exact same time too, I also knew that a lot of the reason that I could not do any thing, was simply due to the fact that I was stuck in the jail cell, and there was no where to go, and there was nothing that I could do at all, either.

I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self, as I then put another of sand stone brick together, and then I began to mesh it up all at the exact same time too, building out a bit of a triangular wall that was quite a bit strange to be building in the very first place any ways. I knew that places were a lot stronger, if it was built with a triangle, but it seemed like the entire place that I had even been building in the first place any ways, was just one big triangle, which did in fact confuse me a great bit, as to what it was that this was even going to be used for in the very first place any ways.

Nothing good at all, if I had to assume, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at once, as those kind of thoughts then went back to what it was that I had been even thinking on in the very first place any ways. When I had woken up from the nightmare, so to say, that I had last night, I reached over in my bed, to hold on to my wife, to try to get her to comfort me a bit, but as I did do such a thing, it did not take me all that long to realize as to the fact that she was not there at all with me, and it all came back to me as to what it was that had even happened last night.

They had taken her away from me, and it made me even more angry with the world, and the leadership, and the government than I even had been before all of this. They had taken the only thing that it had seemed like I had ever loved from me. I knew that I had to do some thing about it, as I knew that I would never see her ever again either way. It made me feel sick as to what it was that they were even doing to her in the first place, but I felt like I should not think on all of that too much at all, as I just could not help but to be as angry as I was right now.

I did my best not to show it to every one at work, as much as I wanted to, as I felt like I just wanted to go in to the government, and do my damn best to destroy them, just as they had done to me. I knew that I could not do as such a thing, as I knew that the actual leader ship was a fair distance away for one thing, and also the other thing was I was going to be out on my own, and I would not get all that far either, as I let out a bit of another rough sigh, and I just continued to stare down at the ground at the exact same time too.

It came back to me, all at once, as to the fact that I knew that I could do some thing about all of it, but at the same time too, it kind of felt like it would take far too long to do any thing if I did in fact stay in this rebellion, as what I really wanted to do, felt like it was some thing that needed to happen right now, rather than go to war with them, and plan out a bunch of battles to fight back against them. I was not really a strategist either, so all of that kind of just felt pointless to me in the very first place any ways.

I did not make any decisions on the fly, with out even thinking through any of them how ever, luckily enough for me, as I went to Randy right away, as soon as I had got to work, to tell him all of the news as to what it was that had happened last night in the first place, as I knew that he, out of every one that was at this place, and that he out of every one that was even in the rebellion in the very first place, which as I looked around the work place, it still did surprise me as to just how many people were in on all of this in the very first place any ways.

That was besides the point how ever, as I had told both Randy and Sabin, whilst I had been at the table with them during the lunch time, as to what it was that had happened to my wife, and what it was that I had come home to, as I knew that Randy would under stand the pain that I was going through. I knew that Sabin did in fact feel bad for me, but he just seemed to have a blank look on his face through out all that I had even said to him in the very first place any ways, as his response to all of it seemed to be quite a bit short, as well as simple with the words that he had used, 'now you see why this must be done...'

I did in fact see as to why some thing had to be done about all of it, but at the exact same time too, I kind of felt like that was not one of those moments to be like that at all how ever, as I would have hoped that he would have at least shown some signs of some sympathy for me, which clearly was not the case at all. Though, I suppose that there was a lot that Sabin had not told us, and I was fairly certain that he had gone through a lot in his life just as much as the rest of us had, at the exact same time too.

It was clear that he wanted to keep all of that disclosed how ever, and I was not going to bug him, or to push him on it at all, as I knew that there was a good reason that he wanted to start a rebellion, and he had done a damn good job so far, as most people did not even get that stuff started, as you got a good payment if some one was in fact to snitch on you. We were lucky so far, and if I was not going to lie to my self as well, as to the fact that I was going to be the one that was bringing people in, I felt like I was in the most danger.

At the same time too how ever, I felt like that should not matter all too much to me at all though, as I had lost my wife, and it felt like if I were to die right now, than I would rather it be due to the fact that I was trying to save my wife, as long as she was at least still alive, which I had to at least have a little bit of hope, and a little bit of some faith that she was, whether or not she was okay, was a completely different reason all together though. I knew that I would rather die trying to bring her back, than to die of old age, or to die of some kind of sickness.

I did not want to live this life alone, and that was that. It hurt me to event think on the fact that I knew that I was going to be alone at the exact same time too, as I dipped my head a bit low to the ground, though I felt like that was a bad idea at the exact same time too, as I knew that Isabelle had noticed me quite a bit today, and she had gotten on my ass as to the reason that she had said that I was being lazy, which was not the case at all, though I did know that I was not going as fast as I usually did on a day like today.

I still knew that I was faster than most people were, maybe not the fastest of them all, such as I was a lot of the time, but I knew at the same time too, that I really did not want to test the wrath of Isabelle, as I had seen many people get killed in her hands, with her blood all over it. It made me feel sick, as I knew that not all managers at most job sites were as evil as she was, but she was the worst of the worst, as I knew that she learned a lot from the government, and the leader ship of the world that we were in for sure, with a lot of the sick things that she had done to innocent people who were, 'being lazy'.

I knew that Isabelle did not like me at all either, though she usually did not like any one all that much, I knew that I was one of her least favorites. I was not all too sure as to why that was the case at all, as it was not like I had done any thing at all bad to her, as I knew that if I did, than it would be a good reason for her to get me killed, which a lot of the time it kind of felt like she tried to look for any sort of reason to get me killed, which I was not going to allow, as I was simply just a good and silent worker that was at the job site, as I did not talk to all too many people.

When I did, it usually was wise words, and good advice, so I suppose, the more that I thought on all of it, at the exact same time as well, the more that I did in fact begin to realize as to the fact as to why Sabin would have wanted me to try to bring people in to the rebellion. I knew that there were going to be a few others that were going to help me with all of that never the less, as I knew that we would get no where if I was the only one, but I knew that I was going to be the main one, and I was going to be one of the main leaders in all of this at the exact same time too.

I did not take it with a grain of salt, nor did I take it all too lightly at all, all that much any more, after what it was that had happened to me last night. I knew that this was some thing that I needed to do, as I knew that my wife was not the only one that was locked up in some cage in some place that was ruled by all of the leaders of this nation, and what ever sick people that were there, as frankly, as I had been told from other people, those people that did in fact rule all of that, might not actually be people at all, as sick and as crazy as that might actually sound.

I have heard far worse far fetched ideas how ever, so I knew that I could not rule that out of question, as some of those far fetched ideas had turned out to be true in the end, so I knew that I could not let any thing surprise me any more at this point. I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at the exact same time too, as I felt like I should not be thinking on all of this for too much longer, as I had my thoughts stuck on all of that for just about the entire day up to this point, and I now felt like I should just wake my self up a bit, and get over it at some point, and move on.

At the same time too, I also knew that a part of this was not me moving on, as I knew that I could not give up on Sandy just yet, as I knew that she was strong, and that she was a fighter, and through what ever torment they might be putting her through there at that place, she was alive, and she was not going to let her self die. I sighed just a bit to my self all at the exact same time too, as I then lifted my head up at the exact same time as well, due to the fact that I heard the voice of Isabelle from not all too far away from me, as it got a bit of my attention over to her, as I blinked my eyes, and I then squinted my eyes to hear as to what it was that she had to yell to every one in the very first place any ways.

"Alright every one! Not a very good day for working today from you, so you better be on your A game tomorrow! Now get your sorry asses out of here!" She yelled to all of my co workers that were in the room with me at this very moment in time. I blinked my eyes a few times once again, as I was a bit lost as well as a bit surprised, as it felt like it was too early for us to be leaving work already. I turned my head to the front, to see what it looked like out side, only to see that it was quite a bit late, as I was a little bit lost as to how that could even be the case in the very first place any ways.

I suppose, if I thought on all of it just a bit, I would then begin to realize as to the fact that I had already gone past the lunch time for one thing, and also the other thing was I had been a bit lost in my head all day, so it might just feel like work had already just started for me. I tilted my head a bit, as I turned my head over to my work place, putting all of my stuff in the correct spot to get ready for tomorrow. I looked at all of the work that I had done today, and I then began to realize that I really had not got all too much done at all in fact, as I dipped my head a bit low to the ground, as I had quite a bit of a guilty look on my face.

I hoped that Isabelle was not looking over at me right now, as I knew that she would use that to her advantage if she saw the way that I was at this very moment in time never the less, as I let out a bit of a rough and a soft sight to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I then got my focus in on what it was that was a lot more important to me right at this very moment in time, which was of course the fact that I knew that I needed to get back home and make sure that my neighbor, and also my friend, Tona, was okay after the incident that happened last night.

It still hurt me to even think on that at the exact same time too, as I winced quite a bit to my self, all at once, and I then shook my head, as I then got the rest of my stuff packed at the exact same time as well, so that I could get ready to go back home. I breathed in quite a bit at the exact same time as well, as, as soon as it seemed to be that I had even turned my head around, I noticed that Sabin was right beside me, as it was clear that he was about to speak to me at the same time too, as I then saw him nod to me.

I blinked my eyes just a few times, as I was still a little bit lost on what it was that was even going on right now, in the very first place any ways, but I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at once, as I then nodded right back to Sabin, as I put my bag a little bit below me, as I was not all too sure as to how long I was even going to be here. I hoped not all that long, but at the same time too, there really was not all that much back at home that excited me to get back home in the very first place too.

I did my best to try to shake off all of those thoughts as well, as I then got my focus on what it was that was going on right in front of me, with Sabin, as I saw that he had quite a bit of a blank look on his face right now, which did in fact confuse me quite a bit, as I began to breath in just a bit, trying to get my focus in on what it was that was even going on right now. Sabin seemed to just stare at me for just a little while longer, until he finally decided that he was ready to speak to me, as I then began to listen as to what it was that he even had to say to me in the very first place as well.

"We have a meeting tomorrow... Do not forget about that... I will tell you all that you need to know to try to scout some people in to the legion..." He said to me, as I was a little bit lost on what it was that he had just said to me at the exact same time as well. It then came back to me just as soon as I began to think on it, as I remembered that I was the guy that was going to be trying to bring people in to the rebellion in the very first place any ways, as I let out a bit of a rough sigh to my self all at once, before I then did in fact nod to Sabin, to let him know that I had heard as to what it was that he had just said to me.

Sabin seemed to be just staring at me with his eyes squinted, as it did not seem like he believed me for some odd reason or another, which was for sure not a good start to all of this at all, as I blinked my eyes just a few times, before I then got my focus in on his face, as I then saw him nod to me all of the sudden, though he just seemed to stand in the same spot right beside me, as it still did not seem like he was too sure that I had in fact heard as to what it was that he had just said to me, even after the face that I had nodded to him either way.

I was not all too sure as to what it was that was even going on right now, if I was going to be completely honest with my self, as I kind of just felt like I wanted to get out of this work place as soon as possible, though it did not seem like any one was going to let me do as such a thing, as it kind of felt like I was going to be stuck at this place for the rest of the night, which was quite a bit of a miserable feeling to have never the less, as this was after all the most miserable place to even be at, in the very first place any ways.

I dipped my head quite a bit low to the ground, all at the exact same time too, as I just wanted to go back home, even if there was nothing to really go back to any ways, and just get a bit of some sleep, as I knew that I had not got the best of sleep at all last night, due to the fact that I had been so lost in my head as to what it was that had happened to my wife, and my unborn baby never the less. It had made me feel quite a bit sick to the stomach, and I had in fact told Sabin about it at the exact same time too, so I was not all too sure as to why he was treating me in this way, as if I was not supposed to be having any sort of emotion as to what it was that had happened to me at the exact same time as well.

It kind of annoyed me, as well as the fact that it got me a bit upset at the exact same time too, as I then lifted my head up to Sabin, and I too did the exact same thing as he was doing right now, as I then squinted my eyes at the man. I was bigger and stronger than he was, so I felt like it should in fact bother him, and it should get him off of my ass, at the exact same time too, but sadly enough for me, that did not seem to be the case at all, as it seemed like just had to squint his eyes even harder than before, as if he thought that it was going to bother me.

It did not bother me at all how ever, as I was by no means scared of the man at all. I was rather just annoyed by the fact that he expected every one to be just like him, and to have no sort of emotions at all, as to the fact that we should not be able to experience pain for one thing, which seemed to be the part that made sense, as to what it was that he was even thinking on in the first place, but the only problem with not being able to have any sort of emotions at all, was of course the fact that it meant that you would not be able to feel any sort of joy, nor happiness.

I did not want to live that way, and I did not want to be the way that Sabin was at all, if I was not going to lie to my self, as he might think that it was a good thing, to be the way that he was, but I did not feel any thing good in that at all, as it kind of made me feel a little bit sick, if I was going to be for real with my self as well. I felt like this might be a bad idea once again, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I had even got my self in to in the very first place any ways. I knew that joining a rebellion was in fact enticing, especially after what it was that had happened last night.

The problem was of course, was the fact that I was not all too sure if Sabin should in fact be the leader in this, though I suppose that was why he had got me and Randy to join him in the very first place any ways, though it seemed to be that Randy had been the main guy that he was going after, if I was going to be for real with my self, as he was of course the first guy that he had gone to talk to, rather than it be me, as it seemed like the idea for me was kind of on the spot, as he knew that the both of us were good friends, and he knew that Randy would feel a lot better if I was with him in all of this very the less.

I felt like I was over thinking all of that at the exact same time too, as I then began to breath in quite a bit of a heavy breath, as I then did my best to get my focus off of all that was even going on in my head in the very first place any ways, as I then got my focus on what it was that seemed to be a lot more important to me right now, which was of course the fact that I was with Sabin right now, and he was staring at me, and he was looking at me right in to my eyes, as if I had done some thing that was suspicious, and he was trying to test my loyalty.

My loyalty was not some thing to be questioning at all how ever, as I knew that I was a very loyal man, as I then let out quite a bit of a rough and a soft sigh at the same time too, as to the fact that it was only a sigh that I would notice, as I then lifted my head back up at Sabin at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden nodded to him, as I then began to think of some thing to say to him all at once, as Sabin was quick to nod back to me, to let me know that he was listening to me, as I then did in fact begin to speak to him.

"I will be there for it... Don't worry, you go do your own thing... I just want to get back home..." I said to him, as I looked at him right in to his eyes all at once. I was serious with what it was that I had said to him as well, as it was clear that I wanted to be alone right now, after all that had happened to me up to this point. Sabin seemed to under stand it, at least for the most part, as he did in fact nod to me, before he then began to walk away from me after a little while longer. I let out a bit of a relieved sigh all at once, as I then picked up my bag that I had taken to work with me.

I was about to open it, and grab the sandwich that my wife usually packed for me, in the case that I got a bit hungry after the long day of work, but at the exact same time too, as I then began to reach my hand in to the bag, as to where it was that it was normally placed, I then began to remember that it would not be the case at all today, as to the fact that my wife was pregnant for one thing, and she should not have her focus on that at all right now.

As I then began to think on those thoughts for a little while longer how ever, I then began to realize, as sick as it made me feel to even think on all of that at the exact same time too, I remembered that she had got taken in to the government, as to what ever place that they had taken her too. I dipped my head quite a bit low to the ground, now that I remembered all of that, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh, doing my best to try not to get all too angry with all of that, as I then nodded to my self all at once, remembering the rebellion, and remembering not to do any thing stupid.

I then began to head over to the exit of my work place, as I was just ready to head back home at this point, as this day had been rough enough as it was up to this point, and I just wanted to get it over with now, and go ahead and move on to the next day. I felt like a bit of an idiot at the exact same time too, as to the fact that I also knew that the next day was just going to be the same as today. Though I suppose, as long as I got some decent sleep tonight, that might not be the case at all, at least that was the hope.

I sighed, as I then got up close to the exit of the job site, as I did my best to crack a bit of a fake smile, such as I did every day, thought this one seemed to hurt a bit more, as I knew for a fact that I was not happy at all, as I then walked out of the big and open door way to the place, until at the exact same time too, I then heard a familiar voice start to say my name, from not all too far away from me, as I blinked my eyes a few times, a little bit lost as to what it was that was going on right now, in the very first place any ways, as I turned my head over to the person, to see that it was none other that Isabelle.

I looked at the woman right in to her eyes, as I saw that she had a big smile on her face at the exact same time too, which seemed to be quite a bit of an evil smile never the less, which kind of made me feel quite a bit sick, as I shivered just a little bit, and I then nodded to her, to let the woman know that zi was listening as to what it was that she even had to say to me in the very first place any ways. Isabelle did not seem to notice the nod at all how ever, as she continued to speak, before I had even done such a thing, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh, and I did in fact listen as to what it was that she even had to say to me at the exact same time as well.

"Randolph... I heard your wife is pregnant... How is she?"