Chapter 9: Planned

Being at home was quite a bit cold, as I was not used to being alone at this house. I knew that Sandy some times went to go and get food, and other stuff from the market place, but she did that when ever I was at work. When ever I was at home, so was she. It made me feel sick, as I laid in bed for just a bit longer, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that I should do, or what it was that I was even doing in the very first place any ways. This all felt rigged, and it all felt planned at the exact same time too, as it felt like they were coming after me, and I had not done any thing.

I had not done any thing, yet, at the very least, but this was the last straw, and I was not going to take it any more after all of this. I could not live my life with out my child that was on the way, and with out my wife by my side, as it all felt empty and bleak with out any of that to look forward to come home to evert day. It was just like today, when I had come home, I just felt like there was nothing left for me here, and there was no point, nor was there a reason for me to be here in the very first place any ways.

Tona had gone back to her home, at least that was what I had to hope, as I was a bit worried that they might do some thing to her now, for some odd reason or another. It would not surprise me either, with the type of shit, and the type of luck that I had been having as of late. I began to breath in quite a bit, as to even letting all of those thoughts even come in to my head in the very first place any ways. I was sure that Tona was back at her home, and that she was fine, though I did in fact know that she was grieving for the loss of her perhaps, best friend, Sandy, such as I was.

I did not feel like I wanted to bother her for any longer either, as I felt like I just wanted to lay in this bed until the next morning awoke for me. I was a lot different than others were, when I got in to a lot of stress, as well as a lot of depression, as I knew that I had been told that most people ate a ton when it got that kind of way. That was just the opposite for me how ever, as I had not ate any thing today, as I had in fact had a good meal last night, but that was not enough to last me as long as I had made it up to this point though.

I knew that I was hungry, and I could in fact feel my stomach rumbling at the exact same time too, but I really did not care at all. I had not ate any of my lunch at the exact same time too, as I just had my head a bit low to the ground through out the entire lunch hours. I was hurt, and I was lost, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that I should do, nor where it was that I should go at the exact same time as well never the less. I really did not care any more, as what hurt me the most, if I was not going to lie, was the fact as to what Isabelle had said to me.

She had a big smile on her face at the exact same time as well, as soon as she had said it to. I knew that Isabelle knew that I had a wife, but she did not have a single clue as to the fact that Sandy had been pregnant at all, as I knew that Isabelle was the last person that I would ever want to tell about that. It was clear that she knew all about it how ever, as I could tell that, just based off of the big smile that she had in the very first place as well, she knew just what it was that she needed to say, to tear me apart.

She knew all about it, and she knew that some thing had happened to my wife at the exact same time as well. At first, I had got a bit worried that it might have been Sabin or Randy that had told her about it for some odd reason or another, which was an awful start to the rebellion for sure, but I was now starting to realize at the exact same time too, that it was not the case at all how ever, as it was clear to me, that there was a much different reason as to how it was that she had known that my wife was pregnant in the very first place any ways.

She had not straight up gone forward and said that she knew that she was, but I could tell that she knew it, as she had never asked her about Sandy before today, so it did not make sense as to why she would ask about her now, after all that had happened to me just last night. It was clear that Isabelle, as I knew that she hated me, must have some how found out about my wife being pregnant, and she most likely had gone to tell the leader ship, or who ever it was that she had gone to, as to the fact that I had a pregnant wife back at my home. It made me feel quite a bit sick at the exact same time as well.

I hated Isabelle back, especially after what it was that she had just done. She was an evil person, and she for sure took after our government, as I could say that for a fact. I began to breath in quite a bit heavily, all at the exact same time as well, as I then shook off all of those thoughts, all at the exact same time as well, as I then heard a very loud knock on the door, all at the exact same time as well, which surprised me, as well as the fact that it also shocked me, and it scared me too. At first, I was a bit lost, as I had not expected to have any visitors at all, at the exact same time too.

That was, until it all of the sudden began to hit me, as to just what it was that was even going on in the very first place any ways, as I blinked my eyes a few times, up at the ceiling that I was staring at, at this very moment in time, as to just what it was that was even going on right now, in the very first place any ways. I gulped just a bit, as I then started to remember some thing that I had said to the guys when I had been with them at the lunch table. I had a bit of a vague memory as to the fact that I had agreed on the fact that I would be at my house waiting for Randy none the less, so that we could head over to Sabin's place.

I was a bit surprised all at once, never the less, as it felt like I had been in bed longer than I actually had been, but as I looked out the window that was in front of me, all at the exact same time as well, I then quickly realized that it was not dark at all, and also the fact at the exact same time as well, that there was still plenty of time, as well as plenty of day light left in the day, at the exact same time as well. I breathed in quite a bit of a heavy sigh, all at the exact same time as well, as I was not going to lie to my self as well, I really did not want to get out of my bed.

I shook my head, as I then shook away all of those thoughts from my head, all at the exact same time as well, as I then all of the sudden got my focus on the more important thoughts as to just what it was that was even going on in the very first place any ways, which was the fact of course, that Randy was waiting for me at the front door of the house, which I all of the sudden was reminded of, at the exact same time as well, as I saw that the knocks got a lot louder than they had been just last time all at the exact same time as well.

I let out quite a loud groan all of the sudden, as I really did not want to get out of bed right now, if I was not going to lie to my self. I was so hurt, and so lost right now, as I really felt like I just wanted to be left alone. At the exact same time too, I also knew that it was just what it was that the leadership wanted me to do, as I knew that they did not want me to fight back against them at all, as I knew that they wanted me to sit back at home, such as I was doing right at this very moment in time, and just sit in my bed and sulk to myself in the exact same time as well.

I sighed, as I then all of the sudden began to lift my self out of bed finally, as, as soon as I was out of my bed, I then went straight over to where it was that my shoes were at, at the exact same time as well. I then quickly put on my sandals, and I then started to walk out of the room, before I heard an even louder knock on the door once again, which was actually starting to annoy me quite a bit if I was not going to lie, as I squinted my eyes at absolutely nothing at the exact same time too, as I then started to yell to who ever was at the front door, which was obviously Randy.

"Damn! Calm down! I am going to be there in just a few seconds, just give me a little bit of some time please..." I yelled to Randy, as I was in fact quite a bit annoyed as to the fact that he had just continuously knocked on the door over and over and over again. I shook my head all at once, as I then turned my head away from the hall way that I had just gone down, to get out of my bed room, all at the exact same time too, as I then turned my head over to the hall way that led to the very front door of my house, as I dipped my head a bit low to the ground, at the exact same time as well.

I felt a bit bad, as I was not all too sure as to why that was even the case at the exact same time as well. I was quite a bit lost in my head, which I did know as to why that was the case, as there had been just so much that had happened to me over the last few days, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was real, and just what it was that was fake at this point. I felt like I really should not get too stressed out about all of it, but I really just could not help it at the exact same time as well, as it was my wife that I had lost, and she was the thing that I loved the most, and the only thing that felt like mattered in my life, as she was the only thing that made me make it through, to my next day.

She was gone now, and I was not all too sure that I would ever see her again at the exact same time as well, as it did in fact hurt me at the exact same time too, to even think of those kind of thoughts never the less, as I felt like I was about to drown my self in all of those thoughts too, as I was almost tempted to cry. There was no tears that seemed to want to come out of my eyes how ever, which I felt might not be too much of a bad thing, as I kind of was a bit glad that I did not really have any sort of emotions right now, as I knew that it was going to help ease the pain quite a bit, at the exact same time as well.

I did my best to just try to shake off all of those thoughts, all at the exact same time as well how ever, as I knew that I could not let my self get stuck in all of that right now. I knew that yes, I was in fact never going to see my wife ever again, unless of course, I was to do some thing about it. I knew that I had to at least try, as I knew that I could not just move on with my life, like nothing had happened at all. I was starting to feel the way that Randy was now all of the time, all of the sudden, as I was starting to realize as to why he had been in so much pain, for such a long time, at the exact same time too.

I felt quite a bit bad for my friend, but at the exact same time too, I also kind of felt quite a bit bad for my self, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should even do if I did not have her, if I in fact did not decide that I was going to join the rebellion. At the exact same time as well how ever, I also kind of felt like at the same time too, as to the fact that it was a little bit too late to go back on all of that, at this point, as I was fairly certain that if I decided to leave, I was going to be snitched on no matter what, which meant that I was going to be killed, which I was sure that was some thing that Isabelle was craving in her boots to see.

I was not going to give her that satisfaction how ever, as I let out quite a bit of a heavy sigh, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to shake off all of those thoughts from my head, all at the exact same time as well, as I then began to start to lift my head up finally, as I realized that I had been standing in this same spot for quite a bit of some time too. I was glad that Randy did not see me acting like this right now, as I knew that I was acting like quite a bit of an idiot never the less. I sighed a bit of a soft sigh to my self, as I did my best to try to shake off all of the thoughts that I had been having, from my head, all at the exact same time as well.

I then nodded a bit to my self all at once as well, as I knew just what it was that I needed to be doing right now, as I then finally, all of the sudden, began to start to head over to the front door of my home, which still felt quite a bit cold to call it my home still, with out having my wife around. I shook off all of those thoughts, all at the exact same time as well how ever, as I then stopped my self all of the sudden, as soon as I got right up on the front door. I blinked my eyes just a few times, as I then all of the sudden unlocked the door, all at the exact same time too.

After just a few more seconds, I then opened the door, as I saw a bit of a confused look on the face of Randy, at the exact same time as well. It kind of confused me at the exact same time too, as to just what it was that he seemed to be a little bit lost on right at this very moment in time, any ways. It then kind of hit me as to what it was, as I then began to remember as to the fact that it had taken me quite a bit of some time to even get to the front door, and to open it to greet him at the exact same time too, as I was about to dip my head a bit low to the ground, due to that fact at the same time too, as soon as I remembered that, until just before I got the chance to do such a thing, I then all of the sudden heard the voice of Randy, as he then all of the sudden decided to speak to me.

I blinked my eyes just a few times, as I then lifted my head up instead, as I saw Randy nod to me, to make sure that I was listening as to what it was that he was saying. I was in fact listening as to what it was that he was saying, due to the fact that I felt quite a bit guilty for some odd reason or another. I breathed in quite a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at the exact same time as well, as I then nodded right back over to Randy, just to let him know that he had my full attention on him right now.

Randy did not seem to be completely pleased by that for some reason, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that was going on with him at this very moment in time either. It was as if he had all of the sudden forgot as to the fact that I had lost my wife the day before, and he expected me to be strong right now, which of course was not the case at all, as I was instead quite a bit lost in my head right now, if I was not going to lie to my self. I was really could not help but to be like that how ever, as I really did not feel bad about it at all either.

Randy blinked his eyes a few times, as if it had all of the sudden seemed to come back to him all at once, at the exact same time as well. Which I was a bit lost as to how he would not realize that as well, as he usually knew that my wife was the one that usually answered the door before I did. I did my best to try not to dwell on any of that for all too much longer how ever. Randy did in fact finally decide that he was ready to speak to me, thankfully enough for me at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden, began to listen as to what it was that my friend had to say to me in the very first place any ways, as well.

"I am sorry about your wife man..." He said to me, as I saw him dip his head a bit low to the ground all of the sudden, as it was clear that my theory had in fact been correct, as I then began to realize all of the sudden, as I too then began to dip my head quite a bit low to the ground, at the exact same time as well. I felt sick, as I really did not want to think about Sandy for any longer than I already had, if I was not going to lie to my self. It made me sick, as to the fact that the government, which was some thing that people had thought was going to be a good idea long ago, as it has been said that they would keep the streets safe, and they would creat a better balance in the economy. That was not the case at all how ever, as the streets were not safe at all, as I knew that for a fact, as well as the fact that it felt like every one was just broke now a days, as I was a bit lost as to just who it was that has the money. I shook off all of those thoughts from my head, all at the exact same time as well how ever, as I then all of the sudden got my focus right back on Randy, all at the exact same time as well, as I then all of the sudden heard him start to speak to me once again, as I lifted my head up, all at once, to hear as to just what it was that he had to say to me again. "Well... Let's see if this rebellion will get all of this shit started... You just got to have hope that you will one day see her again... We need to go now though... We are probably going to be late..."

I blinked my eyes a few times, as I was a little bit lost as to just what it was that he had even said to me in the very first place any ways, if I was not going to lie to my self, as I was a bit lost in my head at this very moment in time, due to the fact that I knew that I had just lost my Sandy. I was in so much pain, as I was not sure as to what it was that I should do. It kind of felt like there was in fact no such sort of hope any more. I was fairly certain that this rebellion, just like the rest of them, was going to be stomped out by the government, and in the end, it would all fall apart, just as soon as it had got started, leading to the death of me.

Perhaps that was not all too much of a bad thing how ever, as I really felt like there was not much of a point of living any more, with out having Sandy by my side, as I knew that she was the love of my life, as I had in fact known that for quite a bit of some time, at the exact same time as well. It hurt me, and I was not all too sure what it was that I should do, as I really felt like this whole rebellion thing was quite a bit of a bad idea, if I was not going to lie to my self, at the exact same time as well. The thought of it sounded cool, as well as the fact that the thought of it was a bit enticing never the less, but at the same time as well, it also kind of felt like there was no such sort of hope in it going any where.

None of the rebellions before this one had gone any where, so I was not all too sure as to what it was that was so special, and what it was that was so different about this one. If any thing, this kind of felt like a terrible idea if I was not going to lie to my self, as I knew that most people thought of Sabin as some sort of joke, and I knew that no one took the man any sort of seriously, sadly enough for him, at the exact same time as well. As I was not going to lie to my self, I was a bit guilty of it as well, as I felt quite a bit bad for it. I let out a bit of a soft sigh at the same time as well, as I did my best to try not to think that kind of way about any of this as well, how ever.

I knew that if I thought that kind of way, that I was simply just letting the government, and I was letting the leader ship have any easy win over me, as I knew that it made me scared to do any thing about this at all. I was not going to lie, Sabin was a bit of a strange guy, but maybe that was what it was that we needed at the exact same time as well, as I knew that if he was a strange guy, than the attacks that he was going to plan, were going to be quite a bit strange at the exact same time as well. That was not a bad thing at all, at the exact same time too, as I knew that if we had strange attacks, than it was going to be some thing that the government was not going to be expecting at all.

This felt perfect, if I was not going to lie at the exact same time as well, as for some reason or another, I then all of the sudden cracked a bit of smile on my face all of the sudden, which I was not all too sure as to why that was the case at all either, due to the fact that I was not at all happy with the current circumstances that were even going on in the very first place any ways, as I still was in quite a bit of some pain at the exact same time too. I breathed in quite a bit heavily how ever, as I did my best to try to shake off all of those thoughts from my head, once again all of the sudden, as I then lifted my head up to Randy, finally.

Randy blinked his eyes a few times, as it seemed like he was a little bit shocked by the fact that I had in fact lifted my head up, as it seemed like really had thought that I was just going to stay lost in my head, and that there was nothing at all that I could do about it, at the exact same time as well, which luckily enough for us, was not the case at all, as for some reason, I held that same smile that I had on my face before, through all of it, as I saw that Randy had his head tilted at me at the exact same time too, as it was clear that he was still a bit lost, and it was clear that he was not all too sure as to just what it was that was even going on with me at this very moment in time either.

To be fair, I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was in fact going on with me right now, at the exact same time too, as I then began to breath in quite a bit, in some dry, and soft puffs, as I then all of the sudden, at the exact same time as well, finally then decided to nod to Randy, to let him know that I was finally ready to respond as to what it was that he had just said to me not all too long ago from now, in the very first place any ways. I could tell that Randy was quite a bit relieved by it none the less, as Randy then all of the sudden nodded right back over to me at the exact same time as well, before I then all of the sudden began to speak up to him all at once, now that I knew that he was listening to what it was that I had to say in the very first place as well.

"It's alright man... It only motivates me to do some thing about all of this, if I am not going to lie to you... Though... There is some thing that I need to tell you..." I said back to Randy, as I had a bit of a blank look on my face through all of it, as I was glad that I had a bit of a blank look on my face, at the exact same time as well, as I then saw him all of the sudden start to head over to the stair way, as it was clear that he was now ready to leave this place, but as he realized that I was not done with what it was that I was having to say to him all of the sudden, as it was clear by that, after the last part that I had just said to him, Randy then stopped him self, and he then turned his head over to me, with his head tilted a bit, as it was clear that he was lost by what it was that was going on with me. Randy blinked his eyes a few times, but he did in fact nod to me to continue, to which I did in fact do as such a thing, all at the exact same time too. "Isabelle knew all about all of this... She asked me about my wife... It is not normal at all for her..."

Randy looked at me, as I could tell that he did in fact have quite a bit of a shocked look on his face at the exact same time as well, as to what it was that I had just said to him in the very first place any ways, which I really did not blame him for either, due to the fact that I was in fact quite a bit lost in my own head still, especially after what it was that I had just said to him, and what it was that I had just told him about at the exact same time too, as that was a lot of the reason that I had laid in bed for so long before now.

I knew that this was all Isabelle, as she had such a nice and sly smile on her face through each and every word that she had said to me. I had lied to her none the less, at the exact same time as well, as to the fact that I had not told her that she had been taken in by the government. I had simply just told her that she was doing fine, and I could not wait to go and see her in the evening, trying to make it seem like I was as innocent as possible, as to just what it was that she was getting at.

At first she had been a bit confused by it, but it was clear that she had known that I was bluffing how ever, as she kept that big smile on her face through all of it, as I then quickly then left my job site not all too long after that, as I did not want to look at her for any longer, as I was worried that I might do some thing to her, after the fact that she had pretty much upright gone to me and told me that she was the one that had told the government that my wife was pregnant too, and that she was soon to have a baby never the less as well, which did in fact make me feel very angry.

I was not going to let it bother me, as I was not going to waste my time on her at the exact same time as well, as I knew that I just needed to keep my focus on my self. If I did any thing to her, I knew that it would get me killed, and I knew that it was not worth it, especially after the fact that I knew that I was about to go and join a rebellion, which could make a lot more happen than simply the fact of me getting a little bit of some pleasure as to the fact that I was beating up the woman that was responsible for my wife being taken in.

I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try not to get all too focused in on that for too much longer, as I kept my head up, doing my best to try to stay strong, though I for certain did not feel strong at all right now, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I just wanted to cry right now, if I was going to be for real with my self, I did not do as such a thing how ever, a part of that due to the fact that I then all of the sudden heard the voice of Randy, which made me lift my head up all of the sudden, at the exact same time too.

I blinked my eyes a few times, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that was going on. I saw Randy nod to me how ever, as I quickly nodded back to him, as I knew that I was paying attention as to what it was that he had to say in the very first place any ways, as I knew there was nothing else that I had my eyes, or my attention on at this very moment in time. I saw Randy blink his eyes a few times at me, for some odd reason or another, as he then all of the sudden did in fact finally begin to speak to me, as I listened as to what it was that he had to say to me, at the exact same time as well.

"Isabelle is evil man... This shit is all planned..."