Chapter 83

I've always been surrounded by people and I like being the center of attention.

I like making friends and meeting new people. I like honest and kind people.

And I'm glad that I have friends who are honest and kind. They have taught me to be happy.

The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - in the end, that's what we work hard for and it's all that matters.

I've seen people, desperately trying to impress me. But, I'm not impressed by anyone's clothing sense, outer beauty, social standing, family background or wealth.

I'm impressed by the way someone treats other human beings.

People think I'm naive and I don't notice. But, I can notice it and I know what their real feelings are towards me.

At least, that's what I felt till last week.

I don't know one person's feelings. I can never tell what he's thinking.

He is full of surprises and sudden attacks. He's lively to the point of being a little scary.

But, I considered him a true friend until...that beach holiday....

"You've been acting weird lately, is everything okay?" I said as I approached Harry.

"...It's actually….not okay." Harry said.

"If that's so, then tell me what's wrong. Maybe if we work together on it, we can fix it." I said.

His pale cheeks turned pink, he raised his head and looked through his brown bangs, with his emerald green eyes straight into mine. He said...

"Jaden…I love you…."

That was unexpected. No, this seems wrong. We are both guys...There's no way it's possible. And it's gross.

Even though I support gay, I'm not gay. I should reject him politely. This way, maybe our relationship won't change...

As I opened my mouth, Harry said "...Is what Sylvia Jordan asked me to tell you while giving me the letter."

What?

It kind of....Hurts...

So, he meant Sylvia...I had almost forgotten about her. I hate people who can't convey their feelings to their crush on their own.

Above all, she used my friend as a bridge to reach me. I hate her!

"Uh...Oh! Yeah! Sylvia...." I said as I brushed my hair and laughed nervously.

It was getting pretty awkward for me to stand in front of Harry. That's not all, I had this crazy feeling that he is definitely hiding something from me.

The fact that he is hiding something, is so frustrating. I wanna run out of here.

"You got me speechless for a moment there." I said.

"What? You thought I'd ever confess to you?" He said and started laughing.

What does this laugh mean? He's lying or is he being honest.

Why are you so hard to figure out? You are so complicated and we are like a careless match.

So, if you're really lying, then it means...

It doesn't matter if I too, tell you a small lie...to see your reaction.

"Ha ha, I may like her too..." I said as he looked at the binoculars.

I couldn't look him in the eye. Because, somewhere inside my heart, I knew I was hurting him. But if I let it go...Maybe, we could still remain friends.

"That's awesome! You both should start dating already, you'll be like- the perfect couple of Kerlin County High." Harry said with a bright smile.

Huh?

You are actually happy?

"Ha ha... It's nothing like that." I said.

Honestly, I wanted to see you a little more…

More...

What do I even want from you?

It's as if I'm begging you to be desperate for me but you just rejected me....

This is so embarrassing. I feel like a moron! YOU IDIOT, JADEN SMITH!!"

"AW! LOOK AT YOU BLUSH!! YOU LIKE HER, DON'T YOU?!" Harry said as he tucked my stomach.

What is this feeling?

You pierce my soul and I can't tell if it's agony or hope...

What do you want? I can't get you. What's going on in your mind?

You're so mysterious

You're insane...

And I'm an idiot...

"Anyways, I'm going to check on Kate. God knows what he's doing." Harry said and walked down the stairs.

No, wait. Don't go!

Don't leave me like a mess here.

I guess I was wrong. He really...doesn't like me.

But, I guess things would be awkward between us now. He may even start ignoring me. I won't be surprised though.

"Hi Jaden. Hey, have you seen my towel?" Harry said as he looked inside his bag.

"N- No...." I said.

Wait- You're not gonna...ignore me?

Why?

"AW man! Look at that idiot! HEY BRANDON, THAT'S MY TOWEL, GIVE IT BACK!!" Harry shouted and ran towards Brandon Johnson.

They are childhood friends...They must know each other really well then.

Brandon must know everything about Harry. He may even be able to tell his mood or his feelings, no matter how hard he's trying to conceive it.

It's like, in front of Brandon, you are honest.

You are real.

You're naked and proud, no matter the scars.

He knows the story behind each scar ever laid on your soul.

In front of him, you are you.

You have...

...No eyes that hurt.

And no misunderstandings about feelings...

Feelings?

'Jaden…I love you....'

I don't know what happened after that. I remember my face being hot, and my eyes didn't know where to look at.

My hands trembled and my throat was parched.

What is happening? Someone please explain.

...I must clear this out...

"Kate!" I said as I rushed towards Kate.

"What happened?" Kate said.

"SAY YOU LOVE ME!" I said.

"Huh? I love you?" Kate said.

"NO NO, SAY IT WITH MORE FEELING!!" I said.

Suddenly, a flying shovel landed just beside my feet.

"Aww... Sorry guys, it slipped from my hand, ha ha" Brandon said as he leaned and picked the shovel.

He glared at me with a smile and said "We should watch out for slipping things like shovels and words. They are life threatening, aren't they, Jaden?"

"Y- Yes..."

He's not a day older.

Harry didn't ignore me, I did.

He was talking to me quite normally, but there were always those three words going through my head.

"...Jaden....I love you"

I stopped hanging out with Harry, more like, I tried my best until one day, MJ invited me somewhere.

He's a senior, so it's difficult to refuse him and I was getting bored at home anyways, so I decided to go with him this once.

But there, I met Harry.

I didn't want to face him.

I wasn't ready yet.

Everytime I look at your face, you look more charming and kind of...magical, especially that smile of yours.

And everytime I hear your voice, the only thing I remember is those three words again.

I want to touch you, to feel how warm your body is, there's still a little bit of you, which I want to know.

But, I don't want to go fast.

I want to step a little closer to you each day, so close that I can no more say, what's going on anymore...

...WHAT THE HECK!!! WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?! AM I A PERVERT?!!

Finally, when we were left alone. I thought that this might be the chance.

I'll see by myself that I don't like him, and then, everything will be normal again.

Harry turned and looked at me.

"Well, then...bye" Harry said and turned the other way.

Bye?!

No-

"Wait-" I said as I held Harry's hand.

I didn't mean to hold his hand. It just...happened. But, now....

I don't want to let go.

"Huh?" Harry said as he turned towards me.

Why are you suddenly acting like strangers?

Why are we strangers when, when...we love each other? Why are you so cold?

No, I can't say this. I'll just confirm that thing and get over with it.

"Un...C- Could you…Can you please…say 'I love you' to me?" I said.

Why am I fumbling now? This is what I planned to ask him for the past one week.

Harry blushed as he averted his eyes and while twirling his forehead bangs, he said "But....Why?"

CUTE!!

"D- Don't get me wrong! I just…wanna....ensure something." I said.

I can't let my guard down now!!

"What does THAT mean?" Harry said.

"PLEASE!" I said.

Please say yes!

I'll never ask for anything from you if it works!

Please!!!

"Fine...But I'm not doing it again, it's way too embarrassing...I love you....Jaden." Harry said as he looked at his feet.

Oh no!

I knew it

This isn't a delusion. I like this guy…and now I'm sure.

And I know he likes me too! I'm sure! I just have to get it out of him.

"Here, now I'm going home." Harry said.

"This doesn't seem right....You are definitely hiding something from me." I said.

Come on, Harry. Be honest with me for once.

"No, I'm not...." Harry said.

"Please, tell me- What is it?" I said as I moved closer to Harry.

"....I'm not really. Ha ha, okay okay. Truth is..."

Here it comes!!

"I have a crush on someone...and it's a guy" Harry said with a smile.

"What?" I said with a shocked expression.

He said 'A guy' it could be me, right?

Why can't you be straightforward, Harry Louverne?!

"...Harry, you are gay?" I said.

"Un...Yes" He said.

See?

"Who is it?" I said.

"Un....Well...It's…J- Jeremy Weaste!" I said.

Why him?

....So, it wasn't me?

Well, un....wow! I suddenly feel like he rejected me and it hurts so bad.

"But he is already dating someone." I said.

"Y- Yeah, but I still like him." He said.

Why?

Why do you like him? I like you more than anyone else could ever!

No other person can ever love you more, not even Venus.

(Note- Venus is the goddess of love, sex, beauty, and fertility)

"That's...." I said.

Sh*t, no good. I feel like I'll cry if I speak anymore.

I think...I should leave while Harry was talking to some middle aged lady.

Yeah, I'll leave.

'Well....It's…J-Jeremy Weaste!'

You tell me...

How can I say that I love you....when you are so happy...

With some other guy?

-To be continued