We Shouldn’t

Several months have passed now since I joined Club Euphoria and I must say, it's the most fun that I have had in my entire life! The thrill that I feel each time I walk into the room goes far beyond the expectations that I had going into it. It has also made me happier at work! Steve still gets under my skin though. What makes it worse is that he is sexy as hell! Broad shoulders, chiseled body that goes for days, taller than me…maybe around 5'10" or 5'11", nice round ass, and smooth soft short, blonde hair that I just want to pull at! Bastard.

"I see that you have been smiling more and more these days. I guess that new activity that you found is working for you." He said, barging into my office again.

A typical Monday that I have gotten used to since becoming partner and having an office closer to him than I would have liked; Steve walking into my office to pester me and pretending to talk about work most of the time when really he just wants to get into my pants again. So glad that the little hazing period has finally passed, now I can do real work only and not the bullshit filing of a freaking assistant.

"Nothing gets past you. But yes, the activity that I took up is very fulfilling. And being able to do it every weekend makes it all the better." I answered him satisfactorily.

"Good, even your evil tone has changed a little." He gestured using his fingers, "Only—y a little."

Such a jerk, I can't stand him. "Don't you have work that you should be doing right now?" Get out—tt.

"Hmm…." A nonchalant expression spreads across his face. "Probably…. most likely…so, what are you doing for lunch?"

"The usual." Yea, I never break routine. I go to either Panera right across the way or Chinese. I'm feeling Chinese today.

"Come on, it's just lunch, Josie." He started pouting like a child. "I'm not asking for much if you go with me to lunch today…I won't come by your office at all tomorrow unless the other partners need me to drop something off to you personally."

Yes, for some reason the other partners like to relay information to each other by using another partner instead of using their assistants. I thought that it was strange, then it was explained to me that much of the information that we share with each other is so sensitive that they can't trust an assistant to deliver it for fear that they might screw up along the way and lose it in transition or sneak a peek at the file. Which has happened in the past, I'm told. It led to the loss of a very prominent client when that sensitive information was exposed to the media.

"Okay, just hold up your end of the bargain."

"Of course, so I was thinking 'Greekopolis'. You still eat gyros, don't you?"

"Yup."

"Then it's settled. I will stop back by at lunch."

"Alrighty," I said turning my focus back to my computer screen.

Lunch with Steven today was un-expectantly not horrible. I actually didn't want to chop his head off. *Coughs*, the other one. It reminded me of our college days. Steven is an ass, but he does have his moments when I think that he is a decent person to be around. Only sometimes though or should I say 'rarely'.

To my surprise the next day he kept his promise and didn't come to my office all day. It was refreshing to be able to do my work in peace. It also gave me the state of mind to think of new forms of pleasing torture for my pets this Friday. I smiled devilishly as so many playful ideas came to mind. It's wonderful to finally be the dominant one in the bedroom for a change, even if it's only for two days at a club, with a couple that's practically married…

They are growing on me, to say the least. But Peter can be a bit much at times when I let him take the lead. Still, though, he's better than Steven was. He seeks to give me pleasure too; he's not selfish and self-centered like Steven. I really enjoy restraining and teasing them. Matthew is a joy to watch, to hear his endless moaning and groaning brings me such sweet ecstasy. The looks he gives me tell me what his mouth does not. All three of us are in tune now. The probation period has ended, and we were so pleased with each other that we decided to finalize the agreement and pay a combined and cheaper membership fee.

Fridays don't seem to come fast enough. I was so eager to begin playing that I arrive at the club earlier then I usually do. As I make my way to the room, I look around eyeing all of the early arrivals. Many of them were sitting in booths those with tables and those with beds. It's like the calm before the storm, everyone was still clothed, drinking and talking, sitting on the beds fully clothed and drinking and talking. The circle bed in the middle of the club is empty; no one is even sitting on it. Seeing the club this way gave me a different perspective. It's nice. The atmosphere is different and just feels like a private social club for the rich. As I continue to walk and peer at the few people already here, I bump into someone.

"Oh…I'm sor—"

"Hello, hotness." I lift my head slowly to find Steven grinning uncontrollably at me.

"What?! What are you do—" I stamper, quickly backing up.

"—I would ask you the same, but I have a feeling that I already know the answer." He grins again. "Strange though, I never took you for a nympho. Which means that you are here for something else?" He asks with that unflinching grin of his.

"It's really none of your business," I told him, folding my arms I stare hard at him.

"Sorry, sorry. So, I take it that this is the new 'activity' that you have been doing for the past three months? No wonder you are always smiling. Tell me this at least, what men here have been plugging you? Because someone is putting that smile on your face."

"Do you not know what 'none of your business' means?"

"Okay, but it's odd that I haven't seen you here until now. I mean, I have been an outstanding member of Club Euphoria for a very long time. I do have my own room so that could be why I haven't seen you." He put his finger to his chin and had the 'I have to ponder this' look he always gets when he can't find the answer to things.

"I have a room too, and I don't usually come this early. I just wanted to get a head start tonight."

"You have a room?" A big smirk danced across his face. "Are you a sub? Slave? I knew that I had had an effect on you but this! You should umm…come be one of my slaves." Winking as he spoke, he walks up closer.

Laughing I tell him, "Sub? A Slave? Me? No, you are sorely mistaking Steven." I smile meanly closing the remaining distance between us.

Chuckling quietly, he looks at me. His piercing deep blue eyes gazing upon me like never before, he's shocked. Suddenly, his gaze shifts behind me. He looks to both sides. I'm realizing that Peter and Matthew have just entered and walked up behind me. I turn my head counter corner to my right seeing Matthew in my eye's view. I was right. I turn back to face Steven. Backing away slowly putting some space back between us. He looks stunned.

He gives another slight chuckle before saying, "I see," he lowers his head for a second, then back up looking to the two of them again, "Well, Josie…have fun." His tone has changed. It's the bitter tone he gets when he becomes agitated, still with a small smile on his face.

"You too Steven," I reply cheerfully, delighted in the aggravation that I just caused him.

As we enter our room, I look around a bit upset that I was not able to get in here before they arrived as I had planned. I guess the new form of torture will have to wait until next time. It takes some preparation for this new toy I want to try. For now, I have to settle for the sex table. I don't have to go into the bathroom to change tonight; I wore a lot less this time. I remove my jacket, untie my robe and remove it to reveal a lace garter piece that I recently purchased. I walk over to the bed to lay the robe across it. I turn around and step back down from the platform making my way to the toy table to pick up the horse spanker while Peter and Matthew finish undressing. I love that they don't care about undressing in front of me. I mean, they are mostly naked half of the time anyway. Ah, and that Matthew. He prefers me to watch him undress, he purposely goes as slowly as possible undressing when I go to the bathroom to change just so that I can see him still undressing when I come out. Then he looks at me, to make sure that I'm watching. Which I always am. How can I not, he is beautiful to look at. So is Peter, but Matthew's body is the eatable kind. Yes, he is definitely my 'Prince'. I know it's probably a dumb name for him but it's what I came up with.

Tapping the horse spanker in my hand I gaze upon him, and he gazes back at me. Slowly unbuckling his pants, he tenderly glides them down his smooth glistening thighs and legs showing me that he didn't wear underwear tonight. I bite my lower lip, still gazing at him and tapping the spanker harder in my hand. My eyes move up along his pelvis, then his torso rippling with muscles, gazing across his rock-hard chest. His body is so tan and bronzed for a Korean. I lick my lips as my eyes reach his plump pink lips, then it hits me. He's speaking. What is he saying?

"Can we do the flogger tonight? Miss Thompson?"

"Huh?" I said in a daze. "What happened?"

"He said could we use the flogger tonight?" Peter repeated.

Snapping back to my senses, "Of course, we can do that." I turn back to the table, set the spanker down, and pick up the black flogger. "I was thinking of using the table tonight. Are we ready?"

"Yes ma'am." They spoke in unison. Peter grabbed the hood that we started using.

"Don't use that yet, here," I handed him the rope, "Tie him to the table face down, legs spread." As Peter did that, I pick up one of the blindfolds.

"Not too tight is it?" He asks Matthew.

"No, make it tighter."

"I'm going to blindfold you, Prince." I let him know. "Should we do a safety word like last time?"

"No ma'am, not for me." Matthew responded. So naughty this one!

"I'm good with it. I will take whatever you dish out." Peter grins devilishly.

"Ok, no safety word. Once I blindfold you, we will begin." I tenderly wrap the blue silk blindfold around his head. "Silent One, massage this oil on him with me." I pour a pool of it into my hands, pour some of that into his hands and we sensually start to rub it all over Matthew's bare harnessed body. Peter concentrates much of the oil between those luscious thick cheeks, circling around his tight pink primrose.

Over the last few months, I let Matthew and Peter go at it while I watch; it's fascinating to watch the way in which Matthew dominates him. He is a very passionate and sharing lover but makes sure that he gets everything that he wants out of Peter. So, thrilling.

This time though, I want to see Peter penetrate him. Matthew might feel reserved at first when he realizes what is happening but I'm sure that he will not take it to heart. I hope.

After massaging the oil to the very tip of Matthew's finger I walk towards Peter and around behind him. I softly touch my hands to his hips with the flogger in my left hand and gently move them forward so that his long hard shaft is now brushing up against the slim crease in front of him. Without having to say anything he knows what I want him to do. I see Matthew flinch then his head lifts up. Before he could get a word out Peter inches the rim of his stone-hard penis into the delicate little hole that has only known the feel of vibrators and dildos inside of it.

"Wait…." Matthew starts.

I walk to the side of the table and stand the flogger on it, directly in front of the blindfolded face that had turned to look at me.

"Is something wrong?" I ask teasingly.

Biting down on his lip, "I thought, you would flog me or put a toy in me. Why is he…?"

"You don't want him inside of you?" I mocked. I motion for Peter to continue. Matthew turns facing the table and touches it lightly with his nose, clasps the table awaiting the impending penetration.

His teeth clench as Peter finishes entering him then starts to thrust in and out at a slow pace. This doesn't make me happy, time to use the flogger!

I walk back behind Peter, take my golf stance, raise the flogger, and Smack! I start to flog him, the groaning and moaning from the two of them become louder. Peter quickens his speed taking the hint. I spank him again for good measure. I walk to the throne to take my seat after getting the desired speed out of Peter.

His thighs loudly smack against Matthew's thighs as he pounds him mercilessly.

"AAAhhhh….!"

"Hmmfpphhff…" Matthew is still clenching his teeth his face planted on the table. Letting out a loud groan he turns his head as if he is gazing at me from underneath the blindfold.

It's a different look from him now. He is as upset as I thought he would be it just seems more of a saddened look almost…ashamed. I hope he isn't crying; I think to myself. He turns and faces the table again. Peter continues to pound into him, going faster. Gripping Matthew's ass firmly in his hands Peter speeds up, even more, the smacking getting intensely louder. Finally, he climaxes, pulls out slowly then gives another big thrust before pulling out completely. He stands back and removes the condom.

"Take a quick shower, Silent One."

"Yes, ma'am."

After Peter enters the bathroom I walk up to Matthew. I gently caress his soft hair. He turns his face towards me. So exhausted, he breathes heavily for a minute before speaking.

"I hope that we don't have to do that again from now on."

Smiling warmly, I reply, "No, we don't have to do that again. I just wanted to see how it would look to have you on the bottom for once."

"It's painful, more than the vibrators and dildos. Those I can handle. But that was like a revenge fuck for him, you know that don't you?" Removing the blindfold, I see his eyes still glossy from the cruel pounding that he just took.

"Yes, that's why it was pleasing to watch." I grin, still stroking his hair, moving a small piece from in front of his eye.

"I'm glad that you are enjoying yourself, ma'am." He responds sarcastically.

I pick up a cloth from the table to wipe him down in the back.

"Are you going to leave me here all night?"

"Hmm…. I haven't decided yet." I said as I finished up.

Peter walks out of the bathroom stark naked just the way that I like.

After wiping Matthew, I walk back to the toy table to get the penis cuff. I grab ahold of Peter placing the cuff gingerly down his shaft; I pick up the leather wrist and ankle cuffs to place those on him as well. Securely linking both wrist cuffs to the penis cuff, I pick up the hood and place it over his head.

"Crawl to the chair," I order him as I make my way over to Matthew to free him from the harsh feel of the table.

I start to change the Shibari of the rope for one that is more pleasing to the eye for me. Shibari has become a big preference for us, especially when I get the desire to suspend him from the ceiling. I tie him into a beauty pose on the floor at his place next to the throne. This pose involves sitting back on the heels of your feet, legs spread wide exposing your organs, and your hands clasped behind your neck securely fastened with the rope.

Sitting down I very slowly begin to push my heeled boot onto his soft harnessed chest.

"Silent One, taste me," I whisper sensually spreading my legs further apart as Peter crawls between them. I reach for the zipper on his leather hood to unzip it, freeing his soft lips from their imprisonment. I watch him intensely as moves forward inch by inch until the feel of his lips and thick tongue gently caress my moist lips through the thin lace crouch-less thongs.

"Mmmm…. aahh…!" I moan intently as his tongue laps fervently between my lips and over my hard clit simultaneously. The now vigorous feel of his lips and tongue beautifully caressing me makes my body tremble. I press down harder on Matthew's chest accidentally I know this from hearing his soft groan. The pleasure is too much! Peter laps his tongue and bites the tip of my clit a tiny bit sending shivers pulsating throughout my entire body, my thighs shake madly as I reach my climax. I exhale gradually, Peter steadily backs out from between my legs, I zip his hood back up as he slowly licks his lips.

I sit for a few moments to gather my senses with both of my little pets in their positions on either side of me like the obedient subs that they are. Once the moment has past, I decide to suspend Matthew again. Even though I can't do the beautiful suspension piece that I had planned for the night, there is still one that is simple enough to do for now. I have Peter go to work tying him up tightly to the ceiling ropes so that it looks as though he is hanging on a single piece of rope at the waist with the rest of his body hanging down facing the ceiling. How gorgeous his face is in this position as his gentle eyes rest on me.

"Would you like a safety word now?" I ask him, to give him the slight warning that he will be in this position for some time as always. He whimpers tenderly looking up at me.

"Yes please."

"How about…. 'rose red'. The safety word is 'rose red'." I say gleefully. I make my way to the bed area waiting for Peter to come join me. I close the curtain after he steps up the platform.

Inside the bed area, Peter and I go over to the bed. We had decided to change the room colors to navy and black for the night, so the blankets are navy blue with black silk sheets. We both sit down on the right side of the bed.

"Do you want to leave the hood on again?"

"No, I'll take it off this time," Peter speaks softly. He is very timid and mild-mannered but takes action when it comes to sex. I can understand him. We both had to deal with being subjected to forceful men. Well, he still is, however, Matthew is very different from Steven from what I have seen. I think I said it earlier that he is neither selfish nor a self-centered lover. He likes to give as much pleasure as he wants to receive, and he is very passionate. Peter is the same way, and I'm sure that I have Matthew to thank for that. How can I not smile when I leave this room, this club? I have never experienced sex like this, the way that he kisses me touches me, it's so gentle and caring. Even now, the way his eyes and fingers trace over every inch of my body is so tender and gentle, you would think that I was a delicate porcelain doll that if touched too hard would shatter into a million pieces.

"Mmm…. hmmmhmmm…. mmm…" Moaning quietly as he penetrates me tenderly and thrusts in and out slow at first. He speeds up a little, enough that our thighs smack lightly but are not as loud as it was when he pounded fiercely into Matthew only moments before.

"Aaahaaa…hh. phff…" The sound of his lowered moaning and groaning is wonderful to hear.

"Red Rose" I heard Matthew's raspy whisper rip through the curtains. It hadn't been that long since we left him and started having sex. And he doesn't cave this soon. It's so unlike him. "Red Rose". I hear him say again, opening my eyes as I feel Peter stop and lift up slowly, his head is turned to his left listening to Matthew's voice. So I wasn't imagining it. He did say it….

I exhale bit by bit, seeming like a long sigh. Of course, it is a sigh. I didn't get as much sex as I wanted tonight and neither did Peter. I looked to him after tying up my robe. He has a sort of pained look on his face, I know it's because he didn't get to finish either. He will definitely have a case of blue balls until he gets home to find release. Picking up my purse from the small coffee table right beside the door I look up to see Matthew staring at me. He has a pained look too. But he is fully aware of the agreement between Peter and I, well the sex part not the switching roles part. Now that I think about it, he always has that pained defeated look on his face every weekend after our playing. Though, I always ask him, "Did I not fulfill your desires tonight?" and his answer is always the same, "You never fail to please me Miss Thompson."

I ask that same question as we approach the door to leave and of course, his answer was unchanging and unwavering, "You never fail to please me Miss Thompson." He smiles at me faintly, yet to call me by my first name. I guess it's understandable, it's not like we're friends, just sex club acquaintances.

Saturday wasn't any different. Although, I did get the chance to prepare the ceiling ropes the way that I had wanted to do yesterday. I was able to thwart Steven and his bothersome beckoning me to come to him. It looks simply amazing! I thought that I would need help but I was totally able to pull it off myself. Even so, Matthew hung from the majestic rope tree and said the safety word this time before Peter could even get it in! Talk about 'cock blocking'! While I do come here, in this room, for the awesome BDSM play having vanilla sex is what I look forward to the most. Considering that I haven't had any since Steven and I split back in college…oh….some four years ago. Now at the age of 29 soon to be 30, I should be able to at least have sex and some kinky fun if I can't find 'the one' to have a stable relationship with. Am I really going to be denied even that now!? Well…at least I got to torture the both of them this weekend and build that magnificent rope tree to suspend him from.

I walk out of the club with that thought giving me a brimming smile.

"Good evening gentleman," I began, turning to face the two of them as my car pulls up, "it was another fun weekend."

"Yes, it was fun, good night Miss Thompson." Peter bows his head slightly.

"Good evening Miss Thompson." Matthew spoke the words slowly and kindly, not letting his gaze reach mine.

Smiling I turn to take my keys from the valet and take off.

Aaaahhh…the feel of the water on my back is so refreshing! It's too bad, I didn't have plans on masturbating tonight, but after last night and now tonight, I have been left unfulfilled. I need to release from the ecstasy I received from the sweet torment that was relinquished this weekend.

After shutting the drawer to my nightstand, dual vibrator in hand the doorbell rings. I slip on my robe and walk downstairs. I pause halfway to the front door of my condo. I look at the clock on my wall to make sure that I was not mistaken about the time. Yes, it's after 2 am. Strange, who could it be at this time of night?

I walk to the door and look out of the right side window. Matthew. What is he doing here?

"Matthew, what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry—I—know I'm not supposed to come to your house—"

"Obviously, it's against club policy." Even though I was shocked at his arrival I hurried him inside in case, by some sheer chance, someone from the club sees him at my doorstep. Other than inside of the club and a happenchance encounter on the street, visiting each other's homes and 'hanging out' so to say, are strictly against club rules.

"I know that I shouldn't be here, but I needed to talk to you without Peter around." He has a somewhat serious yet fearful look on his face. His eyes slowly trace over my body, I had forgotten that I was wearing my red slim long cotton nightgown with no sleeves and the thin long robe to match. His eyes reach my eyes, noticing what he was doing, he catches himself then speaks again, "Why do you only let Peter touch you and why is it him that you only touch?" His expression changes to the sadden look that he has been given after our sessions lately.

"I don't know what you mean," I stated, knowing exactly what he was talking about. I always bind him never letting our bodies touch or hands. I let Peter touch me with any of his body parts; rather my feet are on his bareback, thighs, his face caressing my legs, my hands rubbing his head. But with Matthew, I barely place my naked feet on him let alone pet him.

"It's like he gets all the pleasure from being close enough to smell your skin, it's bad enough that the two of you have sex every weekend, but you could at least pet me or let me rest my head on your thigh. Why…why can't you even give me that?" He begins to move closer.

I stand with my arms folded now. Looking at him I can't find an answer. Slowly, I unfold my arms and lower my head. I can only think of the agreement that Peter and I have. Even though it's not written down in the agreement I do remember him saying, "Don't touch Matthew too much, he can become easily attached." But what if he already is attached? The way that he looks at me…it's the way Steven looks at me like he's in love with me. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Matthew move even closer reaching his left hand toward my face. Before I could say anything, his hand was sweetly caressing my face, he lifts my chin a little and calmly places his lips on mine.

I try to push him away, but both of his arms wrap around my waist and force me closer to him! He kisses me deeper and harder forcing his tongue down my throat; I continue to push him with my palms on his shoulders to no avail. He pushes me to the wall, giving up I wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers sliding between his hairs. Breathing heavily I forcefully kiss him back, he lifts me up by my ass both cheeks fully in his large outstretched hands. He starts to walk down the hall, still wrapped in each other's tight embrace, kissing passionately. I feel one of his hands move, I think he is feeling for a chair or couch. It's the couch that he pushes me down on to; we stop for an instance, looking into each other's eyes desirably. I start to speak, "We shouldn't do this." I can hear my voice trembling.

"No one has to know." He replies tenderly.

He bends down and begins to kiss me again. It's very deep, soft, and passionate. The feel of his lips is vastly different from Peter's. He presses his nose gently against mine as he slowly slides his face across my cheek, his lips press against my neck, he starts to plant a parade of soft little pecks on my neck, then my chest. I slide my hands down his back underneath his suit jacket to quietly remove it. Lifting a bit, he finishes taking it off, while I remove my robe. I tug at his belt and unbuckle it quickly removing it as his fingers work their way down his shirt unbuttoning it and then feverishly removes it, freeing his smooth bare chest with hardened nipples. I pull up unable to resist the temptation to bite and suck on them. Once his shirt is off he grabs my head between his hands, lowers his head to kiss me again. I pull away, "Wait…the bedroom. Upstairs."

He lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. He starts up the stairs and I point him to my bedroom. I have an office next to it with an outside bathroom down the hall; my bedroom with the master bathroom is around the corner from the office down a smaller hall directly in the middle of it. As soon as we enter, he carefully places me on the bed right on top of my middle pillow. Removing his pants he crawls on top of me then stops midway, picking up my vibrator under his hand he smiles. I laugh quietly.

"We might be able to still use this." He whispers, placing it on the nightstand to his left and goes back to crawling on top of me, pulling up my night gown along the way and then off me over my head throwing it to the side.

We quickly go back to kissing and touching each other. The feel of his breath on my skin gives me goosebumps. He puts the condom on with hurried fingers, then rubs two of his fingers over my moisten lips and tease my hard clit delicately, sticking them inside of me slowly but surely. As we kiss I feel his fingers rubbing around inside of me and then he takes them out to the tip, the feel of his dick sliding inside of me slowly until it's in to the base of his shaft. "Mmmmm….hmmm.." I moan enticingly as he penetrates me, moving in and out tentatively, passionately. The way that he moves inside of me is a feeling I have never felt before, his hands gracing my body, touching, pinching every inch of me. "mmm…hfffppmm…," his open mouth still over mine, his long thick tongue wiggling inside of my mouth wrapping around my mine.

He slightly increases his thrusting I start to hear the wet sound of our thighs slapping against each other. Matthew pushes deeper inside of me!

"Aaaahhh…...mm…!" I bite his lip accidentally from the surprise of his deep penetration. I have never had this done before, it surprised me and yet, it feels so delicious his penis hitting that 'wall' inside of me. I feel my eyes tear a little. He pulls up surprised that I bit his lip, he wipes the little trickle of blood, looks at me, and grins.

"mm…I—m—sorry…mmm…that's never happened before." I apologize.

"ss... ff... It's ok. I'm not hurting you, am I?" He asks me, looking at the tears.

"No." I breathed.

He bends down and licks one of my tears along my cheek. He kisses me again, pulls on my upper lip, biting it carefully. Going back to thrusting in and out, he grinds awfully, sensually slow, and hard pushing deeper inside of me again. It can't be helped, I'm coming.

"AAaaah…. mmm…. pphhfff…aaahhh!" I moan and let out what sounds like a small grunt to me.

Matthew continues to grind inside of me. It's more than I can bear! Finally, after some time and my second orgasm, he comes at the same time as my third and last orgasm. He lies on his back. I turn on my side. He wraps his arms around me pulling me into his chest. We both lie on our sides facing each other. He warmly kisses my forehead. I sink into him.

"What now?" I whisper, unsure of what to do. I don't want to come between him and Peter.

"We will just continue as though nothing has happened here tonight. But please…." He started to say, lifting my chin up so that our eyes meet, "Start letting me touch you more and you touch me more. Don't just give it all to Peter. And would please allow me in the bed area at least? If I must be in the cage so be it. I hate being shut out when you two have sex and do whatever else it is that you do behind those curtains." The puppy dog look spreads across his face, but his eyes are tender and so sincere.

"I'm sorry for that, but it was what Peter wanted. I don't think that he wants you to see him being dominant." Even though I make Peter fuck Matthew on occasion, he hasn't really seen the true dominant side of Peter, that side that reminds me so much of Steven.

"I don't care. I must be present in the bed area. I want to be able to see you at least, even if it is his hands that are caressing you."

"Okay. Just don't come here again. We can't risk it."

"But I don't think that I will be able to control myself now. I have to have you like this more often." He presses his forehead lightly on mine closing his eyes tightly, "I think---I know---that I'm in love with you, Josie. Since the first time that I laid my eyes upon you."

I gulp and look to him, "Don't," he opens his eyes, "we can't do this, this can't happen."

"It's already happened."

"And Peter?"

"I still love him deeply too."

"Matthew…" I feel myself start to panic. I push away from him. He pulls me instantly back to him.

"It's ok. It will be ok, Josie."

"How can you say that?!" I sink my face into his chest again feeling defeated from his ever so tight embrace.

"I will talk to him. Next Friday, I will let you know what comes next."

It came like a rushing river, tears falling from my eyes. I can't believe it, why is this happening? Do I love him too? Or is my heart aching for Peter?

Hearing me crying softly, he caresses my head moving the strains of my hair from my face, he silently kisses my cheek.