chapter 8

Half an hour later and 3 drinks later ,I'm dancing in the sea of people ,feeling the music move through my body . I'm dancing on Nick an grinding on him although, at first I felt as if I didn't know what I was doing . I move my body to the rhythm of the music on him while he dances behind me grabbing my hips .As I'm dancing I see Christian from across the room standing with a beer bottle in his hand meaning on the wall giving me an I'm disappointed in you look .I continue dancing on him until he leans in to my ear and he whispers " You wanna take this up stairs " .

I think about it for a second and decide that you know what why not ? Because I am here to have fun and let loose .

"I nod my head yes and he grabs my hand and leads away from the crowd .For a second there the logical side of me says you can put an end to this now but the other stupid part of me says so it just for fun. So he leads me slowly to one of the rooms and we enter . He closes the door and pushes me toughly on to the bed . " Have you done this before " he asks while removing his T-shirt ."

"Yes ,I answer " and I think back to the time when I have first done it .I lost my virginity to a boy named Ross in high school who was like a bad boy and all the girls liked him .He was every girls dream and me I was the one who got him at the end .When we would walk around in school ,I knew they were all watching and I kinda liked it they couldn't have what I had . We were together for about 8 months when he had some all he wanted to with me and threw me in the garbage can for Elizabeth Hillman .I was so hurt and crushed just because he was my first everything actually He taught me everything there was to know .I thought he had felt the same but I guess not .

He immediately leans in and puts his lips on mine so roughly .His breath smells and tastes like alcohol and I know that he is as drunk as me and if not worse than me . He struggles to help me take my dress off and he takes his sweats off . He goes with kissing me and he moves over to my neck . I moan a bit at the feeling of pleasure being applied on my neck . There I am laying underneath him ,a guy I met like an hour later that I barely even know , In one if Christian's rooms ,in his grey bed sheets . He retrieves a foiled packet that I assume is the condom and he puts it and he starts entering me .We do it until eventually we reach our peaks he relaxes and lays next to me and falls asleep and starts snoring . I get up from from the bed feeling very dirty and naseoueted with myself and pick up my black dress and put it on and quietly leave the room . I rush to find a toilet and decide to go into the one in Chris's room cause I know no one will disturb me into there. As I enter the room I find him with some girl kissing on his bed and I zoom for the Toilet so I don't disturb them . " I'm so sorry I just need the toilet . I say with my hand on my mouth .

I go in and lock the door and put up my hair in a ponytail because from all of the events that have happened it has been messes up. I start throwing up and crying not caring that I am being heard by Chris and probably Rachel .I am startled when I hear a knock on the door . " Hey Kim its Chris are you okay ?"

" And do you need anything ?" he asks sounding completely concerned .

"No I'm fine " I say and start vomiting again .

He knocks again " Kim ,can you open the door so I can at least help you , cause you don't sound okay " he says

" I don't need your help and neither sis I asks for it so just let me be " I say and start throwing up again.

Its quite doe some time until ,I hear a key being put into the door and it jiggling a bit .The door opens and there stands Christian in his black t- shirt looking at me with a very concerned look .

" Are you okay ?" he asks me after what feels like hours of standing by the door . An then he just comes in and sits on the floor and takes me in his arms and hugs me while i cry . " I don't feel so good I tel him and rush for the toilet and throw up some more ."I feel so miserable right now and don't know what I even came I just was hoping to have a good time an ignore the fact that the girl that I thought was my friend was lying to me this whole time . I just don't know I kinda feel like my whole life is crumbling and l feel like I don't have a purpose in life and that makes me feel so miserable . I wanna do more in life rather than just waking up and going to school you know" I ramble on while he brushes my hair and wipes my tears with his hand and looks at me .

" You know what I'm so sorry for disturbing tour peace I'll leave " I say getting up to leave .

"No ,you're not bothering me you feel sad and I am going to try to make you feel better about everything"

" Really how are you gonna do that " I ask him

"I have a plan follow me " he says and leads me out of his bathroom