Chapter 49

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Jesus! For a moment there I really thought it was going to be something bad. Things have been going really well, usually that means the universe is about to fuck me over. "It's just a delivery status of a package, god that worried me for a minute" I say taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. As much as I am trying to get on with things, the not knowing where she is and what her plans are is beyond scary. I know the police are still looking for her, but they haven't had any luck so far which means she is smart enough to go undetected, and she was clever enough to get through our security once already so I need to remember to be cautious wherever I am.

I don't want to constantly feel on high alert though, I would love to be done with it all, be back to complete normality. I keep hoping she makes a mistake and gets caught, then I can relax. I don't think that our story is over though, I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach I will have to face her, and I think it's going to be before the boys head off for their National service. One of the reasons I have been strengthening my body and learning to box is so I can handle myself if she comes for me. Never again will I be beaten like I was in London. If anything happens I am going to fight back until my last breath.

I close my eyes, take in a deep breath and blow out slowly, working to clear my mind and all these thoughts. Right now I am with my Daughter, my best friend and her son, security are everywhere, we are safe in a different country to her. Relax Aimee, enjoy the moments you are in. Leave worry behind you, focus on the now and what you can control. My little mantra works and I manage to lock away the dark cloud again.

We spend the rest of the afternoon playing in the garden with Yeong, Lori gets into the pool with him as it gets warmer, but I decide to keep my bruises hidden. He cannot swim yet, Lori is getting him water confident first with arm bands before she tries teaching him. Sakura has swapped from kid duties to cooking duties, spending ages preparing dinner for later, I think she is making sushi.

We are hoping that the boys will be back by 7ish after a full day of rehearsals. They know their routines but have to make sure it works on the stage that's been built. Also they have sound checks and behind the scenes filming too. It all seems quite involved for just 2 concerts. I'm sure they will be drained, want to eat and then sleep when they get home.

I'm sure that everyone's perception of the life of an idol is it's easy, full of expensive things, parties, nice houses and cars but it's far from easy. Yes of course some of it is showy and they want for nothing, but what people don't see is the immense amount of hard work, time and energy they put in to everything. These lads have gotten where they are by sacrificing so much for so long. Less time with their families, for some of them no love life, lonely nights in hotel rooms, horrible press reports and rumours, trolls saying nasty things about them, it's enough to send the most sane of people spinning into an abyss.

I really admire their strength and the way they support each other through tough times. This was so evident during the time the children were gone. The whole Big Hit family rallied and made sure we were all ok, but the boys were really their for Namjoon and Yoongi. I feel immensely lucky to be part of this world and have this large extended family.