Chapter 51

He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks to the bed and sits on the edge. His fingers push my hair back from my face and then trace my jaw line. He stops on my chin and and presses his thumb to my lips. I kiss it, then lick it and he pushes it into my mouth. I roll my tongue over it before sucking it and bite it gently.

He moves his hand round to the nape of my neck slipping his fingers into my hair and pulls me in for a kiss, it's slow, sensual, soft and seductive. I feel him swelling in between my thighs so I lift myself slightly so he can enter me. He adjusts himself and guides me onto him, he slides in easy, it doesn't ever take much for me to feel aroused around him. "Aaaahhh" I let escape from my lips.

He gently cups my breasts and rolls his thumbs over my nipples as I slowly ride him. I move up fast, careful not to let him come out and slide slowly back down. Namjoon begins to kiss my neck, working to my ear where he nibbles my lobe and whispers that he loves me. His hands move to my back and he gently runs his fingers up and down my soft skin.

This is a really nice change to the sex we have been having. As amazing as that is, just being with him, intimately and gentle, our bodies so close, our breaths felt on the others face is spectacular. His strong arms hold me close, he kisses me, I continue to slide up and down on him, but change my rhythm. He groans into my mouth, I pull away from the kiss and look him in the eye, I am getting close to coming and I bite my bottom lip, he gazes back at me, an intensity burning in those dark brown eyes.

His hands move to my hips, he holds on tight and my back arches as I come, he keeps me moving, stretching my orgasm, keeping the flow of movement going so he can come too, silently but strongly. We stay in this position for a few minutes, my head now on his broad shoulder, his arms back around me pulling me into him in a tender embrace.

I feel so close to him right now, it's strange how even a year after we got married and almost 2 years together in total we still find our connection growing and personally my desire for him increasing.

"I'm starving, want to go and eat?" I ask him kissing his neck softly. He nods and lets me up. We clean up from the unexpected session and get dressed before heading downstairs. Lori and Yoongi are already playing hosts and have set the table, got out all the various sushi Sakura has made and the accompanying side dishes and sauces and are pouring drinks for everyone. We are the last to come down.

Sakura has really outdone herself, it all looks amazing and there is loads of it. Nagiri, sashimi and maki, with pickled ginger, edamame and gyoza with wasabi and both light and dark soy sauces. Everyone tucks in, not much conversation flows, it seems that eating and talking together takes too much energy for them after a long rehearsal.

"Jimin, I heard you hurt yourself today, are you going to be ok?" I ask him, actually concerned. I know he has fallen into a depression before when he has injured himself in the past and I don't want that to happen now. "Yeah, I will be fine. It still feels a little sore, but the physio earlier helped" he answers tucking into another gyoza.

"Maybe you could give him a massage Aimee?" Namjoon says. I am not a professional masseuse but I did a few classes back in London, with the intention of maybe having a side hustle but didn't carry on with it. I do however have very strong hands and have never had any complaints from anyone I have massaged. "I was going to massage you baby" I say in response.

"I am going to go up to sleep now, I'm so tired, and Jimin needs it more than me". He wipes his mouth and stands up from the table, wishes everyone a good night and comes to kiss me. He whispers in my ear "I've already had my massage, my muscle is definitely really relaxed now, help Jimin baby, give him whatever he needs to perform better tomorrow". He smiles but it's curt and takes his leave to our room to get his head down before their early start again tomorrow.

That sounded very much like whatever happens is ok, is that permission to do anything and everything? He said whatever he needs. What if that is a kiss, a blow job, for me to ride him? I need clarification. This doesn't seem like the JK incident where it was for both of our benefits, this is almost like saying I have a free pass, but why? Am I imagining an angry undertone to his words?

"I'm just going to go and get my oils Jimin, meet you in your room in 5 minutes ok?" I say heading off to see Namjoon before he is out for the count. When I get in the bedroom he is brushing his teeth in the bathroom. "What did you mean downstairs?" I ask him, showing my confusion by raising an eyebrow. He spits the foam from his mouth and rinses the sink. "I'm not sure what you are asking Aimee?" again he sounds a little tense.

"Give him whatever he needs to perform better tomorrow? What's that supposed to mean? Are you telling me to do more than massage him? I don't understand". I say exasperated at his need to play dumb. He takes off his clothes, gets into bed in just his boxers and sets his alarm for the morning. "You seem pretty concerned for him, I thought you might want to take care of him that's why I suggested the massage. I know he means a lot to you still" he says in a clipped voice. Is he angry that I was worried about him? Is this jealousy? How can that be after the moment we just shared?

"He does mean a lot to me, he is a really good friend and I was just making sure he was ok, I wanted to spend more time with you tonight, massage you, fall to sleep in your arms, but instead you are pushing me into the bedroom of another man! I don't get it Joonie, do you think I want him and not you or something? Did we not just share a really lovely intimate moment together?" My voice is loud, slightly emotional because I am frustrated, I search through my toiletries to find my lavender massage oil and come to stand at the foot of the bed waiting for a response from him.

"Come on Aimee, be honest, if he hadn't of been scared of his Mum and her reaction to you not being Korean you would still be with him! You settled for me because you couldn't have him!" He sits forward and puts his head in his hands. I'm in shock from what he just said. Does he really think that? He couldn't be more wrong. I didn't have to settle for him, I wanted him.

"If I wanted Jimin I could have him. Why if I thought I couldn't would I have quit my job, moved to the other side of the world and married his friend just to be heartbroken everyday that he isn't with me? To potentially watch him get with and marry someone else? I can't believe you think what we have is that meaningless to me! I love you, I want you, for gods sake we have a Daughter! I didn't settle for you, I chose you, it would have always been you!"

"I don't want to argue with you Aimee, I can't help how I feel, can I just go to sleep please?" He says laying back on the pillow and turning off his light. "Ok fine, let's not discuss it, I will go and massage Jimin and give him what he needs like you have told me too! Don't expect me back tonight. I will stay in his room and fall asleep in his arms instead" I say, that last part a definite attempt to hurt him like he has hurt me. I have no intention of anything happening between Jimin and I, but he doesn't need to know that.