Chapter 3

"I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body."

- Veronica Roth, Insurgent

As soon as I stepped out on the street I started crying, I felt terrible. For once in my life, I was truly happy, but obviously, nothing can last, can it? I felt betrayed and I was lost in a world full of confusion and madness. I've never been extra lucky, but this much bad luck. I've never seen it coming.

Although I wanted to visit my family here in London, I didn't have the guts to do it after what happened a moment ago. Can someone even be so self-obsessed? Well, apparently Max can. I headed right to the Paddington station and took a train back to Oxford. I just needed to be alone for a while, with my own thoughts and ice cream.

When I arrived back at my apartment, my best friends Sally and Marie were sitting on my couch, watching TV. 'What are you doing here guys?' 'Heating at our place broke and since we're sick, we figured out we'd visit you because we knew you'd let us stay here. However, you weren't at home. Fortunately, we know where you keep your second key, so we just unlocked the door and went in. Are you mad at us? We're sorry…you look really mad Lil, what's wrong?' 'No, it's okay, stay here as long as you need. You're right Sal, I am mad as I don't know what, I am too mad to think. Remember Max, the love of my life. We went to high school together; I haven't seen him since. Well, I met him yesterday in one pizza place.'

I told them everything that happened this weekend. We made some tea for ourselves and after I finished telling them about Max and kiss and the evening, we were all mad at him. I told them I will never be able to visit London again. What if I'd met him there? I just can't risk it. But will I ever be able to visit my parents again…maybe sometimes, but definitely not in near future.

I was mad at the entire world except for my best friends and family. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't concentrate on what was unacceptable for my studies. Although I felt miserable at the moment and I wanted to drop out of Oxford and hide somewhere in the bush, I managed to finish and graduate. Of course, I would never be able to make it without my best buddies. I am so thankful to them. They helped me in my hardest times and never let me down.

It was my graduation day, and I was pleased because the day has come, and could finally live my own life, without never-ending studying and restless nights. On the other hand, I was scared because I didn't have a clue what I am going to do next. I was mayor at Art, so I guessed something to do with art?

My whole family came to see my ceremony and they took pictures and everything for good memories. I haven't told them the thing with Max and whatever, it happened a long time ago. Even though it was long in the past I still felt betrayed and sorrowful at the thought of him. But out of nowhere there came a thought to my mind. 'I didn't have guts to face the truth until this day, nevertheless now I feel like I should do something about it, something big. I will come to his place and tell him what I think about him and his perfect wifey.' I thought to myself.

And so the very next day after the party and everything I went to the train station once again…