Graduation

Eyes burning into the boy's back, Nyxie breathed sharply. "You," she whispered to herself, "can do this. You're a good person, nothing bad will happen. Just go. And talk."

The girl gave herself emotional support speeches all the time, so it wasn't anything new for her, but very rarely her brain understood the meaning of it, and it seldom turned off the nerves boiling in her body. Sighing, Nyxie made her feet move and before she could let her thoughts take over, she tapped the guy's shoulder thrice.

Holding her breath when he turned to face her, she tried to manage something similar to a smile, and the slightly taller boy gave her one back. "Hey. What's up?"

"Uh..." In this situation that she had been thinking about for a few days already, she forgot the long speech her hand had written down on a paper which was now in her room, on the table.

After a few long moments, the boy raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Sallow? What do you want?" It wasn't a rude tone he spoke in, but Nyxie still felt like puking, feeling uncomfortable about the fact that he knew her family name and she only his nickname: Alex.

"Can we talk?" she finally stuttered out. "In private?"

The guy rolled his eyes. "It's our graduation, I know for a fact that you will never see your 'friends' again. Who cares what they think?"

"No uh... I don't right now, I just wanna talk."

He frowned, staring into her gray eyes. "About?"

Nyxie took a shaky breath, hands trembling against the weird material of her graduation gown. "You know what. Never mind." The girl quickly turned around started walking away, only to stop abruptly thanks to her thoughts. She shook her head a bit and turned around again, ready to go back to her classmate, but was stopped when Alex reached her already, a confused smirk lingering on his lips.

"You're like a whole comedy show. Talk about what?"

"I was at the party. I'm sorry," she blurted out.

He shrugged his shoulders, giving his head a shake for her. "Don't worry about it. I don't care, we had a better time afterward."

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I really look like a shithead, but I don't wanna be a bad person, and I know I am, just, I'm scared and—"

"It's okay," he said softly. "You're not a bad person, you just need to figure out how to stand up for yourself."

"I'm gay." After she had stated that, she sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her head. She hadn't planned to just blurt it like that. She was sure he didn't even care, and Nyxie didn't understand why she felt the need to tell him. The guy stayed quiet, and she looked up at him anxiously, trying to read his face. They both winced at the roaring voice from the speakers, telling everyone to go to their places.

Alex swallowed, and then nodded, smiling at her. "I know." And just like that, the boy was walking away, leaving her standing there, eyes wide and mouth ajar.

#

Going up on the small outdoor stage to receive the diploma wasn't easy to do. Nyxie felt as if everyone's eyes were weighing her down when she stood in front of the headmistress and shook her hand, which made the girl escape the attention rapidly, joining the classmates who were already holding their diplomas. She smiled down at the piece of paper, reading her name and the certification on it. Deep in her heart, she felt proud of herself—incredibly so, not knowing why.

And apparently, so were her parents. Her grandma was there too, had brought her flowers like the other family members, and even the boys looked happy that their sister finished school. Maybe they were excited that she would move out, the girl wasn't sure, but she loved seeing them joyful.

Nyxie had made sure her parents understood that she didn't want some big celebration or to go to some fancy restaurant; she just wanted to be home. Her friends had invited her to a huge house party, but she had gotten out of it by telling them that her parents wanted to spend the evening with her. While it wasn't a lie, it wasn't really what they had said either, but the girl simply didn't want to go out partying with dudes who would touch her butt and girls who would insult her and then make it a joke.

She wasn't in the mood.

The family moved towards their car when they heard their surname being shouted out loud. Nyxie stopped, recognizing the voice almost immediately, and turned around. Alex reached her a few moments after, acknowledging the presence of her family with a polite nod before directing his eyes to the blonde girl. "Wanna talk real quick?"

She sighed and bit her lip gently, nodding. "Is this your boyfriend?" Ashwar teased when she handed the boys her flowers. The girl ignored her brother and mumbled something about being back in a minute before stepping away with Alex, her family's eyes still on them as they went to wait for her in the car.

"No party for you today?" the boy questioned, tilting his head towards one of his shoulders.

"Uh, yeah, no. I wanted to be at home and not with people I hate..."

The atmosphere between the two was a bit nervous and tense, but Alex smiled and nodded like he understood. "Yeah, I get you." They sat there in silence for a moment before he spoke up about the topic. "So, you're finally acknowledging that you like girls?" Before she could say something, he added, "I've known for a while. I wondered that was why you did what you did. You were scared to tell everyone, and I get that, too. But now you're okay?"

Nyxie nodded with a miniature smile. "I don't even know why I told you. I guess I just... I don't know. I needed to feel better about it, and I don't think my parents would be happy if I told them, so I'm not even sure I will."

The boy nodded as the two shared a smile. "Just be you... Is she pretty?" She looked confused, not understanding who he was talking about. "The girl you saw. Your soulmate?"

"H-how—"

"Come on, there had to be something that pushed you to finally acknowledge it. You had a birthday; I think that was it." She smiled to herself when the boy continued. "So, is she pretty?"

"So much more than just pretty," Nyxie breathed, a small blush creeping on her cheeks.

Alex smiled friendly and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I hope you figure it out and find her. And don't feel bad about high school, that's behind us now."

"Okay," she breathed. "Thank you. I hope you'll have an easier life from now on, without me in it."

He chuckled, nodding. "I hope so too," he said and dropped his hand. "Be yourself, Sallow. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He walked away after that, and Nyxie let out a relieved breath, smiling to herself as she moved to the car.

This chapter of her life was over. She was going to be a new person—or at least try.