Numbing

I knew what Mormon was capable of but like Saintclair but I thought he changed and grew over the time we had but I was wrong. He decided to be the backstabber he always was and it doesn't surprise me I'm just disappointed in him. I could see him propped up on his locker scrolling through his phone, not a care in the world that pissed me off. I grabbed him by the color and yanked him up.

"I don't know what the fuck is your problem but I'm not letting all this stupid shit slide anymore. I'm done. Why the fuck would you tell Aaron I leadked the videos." All he could do was offer me a dopey smirk. "I never once told anyone you sent me that stuff or told your friends you were betraying them so what now?!"

"Are you sure I'm the right person you're speaking to?" He ask as he shakes his head.

"Aaron just said it was you. I don't know why you would put everything on me."

"Some things are fun."

"Are you being fucking serious." I shove him against the lockers and his legs give out on him. He grabs onto his tossed aside crotch and hoists himself up.

"C'mon let's put that behind us. It doesn't matter now because now he knows you knew about them before that and it just makes him feel guilty. That's good, right." I chucked him into the locker as I stepped away. What good is that? "What, you were never gonna let him know you know? You are soft and that's sad. To set the record straight I didn't post the videos."

"Then who did?" He shrugs. "So you're not the one who was stalking me and Saintclair." He shugs once again.

"And why would I stalk you two. What are you speaking about?" He asks me with something behind those eyes. "I have an idea…"

"Who?"

"Aubrey." It's not possible he wasn't even there. "Doesn't add up."

"Why?"

"Because he wasn't there. He was at Ebany's party."

"I wasn't there and you just came accusing me. There are places Aubrey wasn't at and somehow he possesses the pictures. It's his witchcraft I guess." He chuckles. "I have no idea who posted the videos though." I have a slight suspicion he does. Other than me there is only him who has it. It's him or someone close.

"I already know who did it."

"Good luck." I'm starting to hate this school more and more everyday. I feel like because I'm an easy target it's easy to pin things on me and this elite group of people and doing loops around me. I literally cannot grow away from these people even if I tried to cut out the bad parts. I can't even find the root of the problem.

I feel like everytime I get better everything just goes to shit. Fuck my life honestly.

"Macius asked if you want to go to the game tomorrow?" Anthony asked me even though I wasn't really listening to a word he was saying. "HEY!"

"What the fuck?!"

"I'm talking to you! I said Macius asked if you could attend the game tomorrow and watch him. He said it would be greatly appreciated even if you two are not talking."

"I told him if he wants to apologize I said not through you or I'm cutting everything off."

"I'm not here to apologize." He rolled his eyes as he blocked my vision from the lesson that was written on the board.

"Oh so no apology. Go back to your class."

"Oh my god, Idk just come to the game please."

"I'll think about it."

"Make my job easy and give me a real answer."

"Let me be honest. I hate you. You're the third wheel and I would rather hear this from Macius. Leave." I point to the door as he again rolls his eyes and slinks out of the classroom.

I'm kinda hating how today is going because Aaron is kinda back because he is in the flesh sitting near me and it irritates my soul he is here. I don't like him anymore so all I think of him is poorly. I was wronged so badly.

I did spend my time alone now since I kinda drove everyone and everything away from me. It may seem sad to others how alone I seem but I'm not exactly feeling it. I kinda feel at peace. I could see how everyone else would stare at my lone table. I would sit while eating my fruit bowl and occasionally scrolling through my phone or playing a mobile game. Maybe they thought it was because of everything that happened to me but they didn't have answers and no one dared to ask directly but the forums were chatting about it.

I would scroll and laugh at their theories, almost cackling, which made me seem crazy.

"People think you went psycho." Saintclair mutters to me as he is crouched over on the ground collecting some bugs in a small tube.

"Yeah I know. Maybe I am." I laughed to myself. "What are those for?"

He held up the tube to his face as he watched the squirming bugs inside. "For someone's food. What's really going on with you? You're like laughing to yourself in the cafeteria and you're always by yourself now and you're just… far from here sometimes. Are you high?"

"I don't do drugs like you and Isn't that the goal?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Isn't that the goal? To isolate me? I'm an easy person to mess with right? Now you have free reign to mess with Daniela all you want. Not like it's not easy already because I'm terrible at my job. You guys already got to her at the Queen of hearts."

"I had no hand in that whole fiasco. Zayn I have no idea what you're talking about. I haven't been doing shit to you in so long so I don't know what this is all about. Are you okay?"

"I'm f- I don't know." I just feel kinda numb these days. I feel like I should react more strongly but I just can't.

"Why do I feel like this?" I ask Kady as I sit in her office. I think I am angry but yet I don't feel anything like I'm numb.

"It's normal the reaction just hasn't kicked in ye- hello?" Our session was interrupted by an unwelcomed unexpected guest in the form of the new principal. "I'm sorry I'm busy with a student."

"Oh I know. I'm here to sit in." I'm not comfortable with that, This man had the same accent as Spencer and his aura read strictly business. Everything about him was straight as in spik and span. He just gave bad vibes. "I don't think he would be okay with that."

"I wanna know how you handle students."

"Well you can go through my files or interview students on my ethics but right now what's going on here can't happen because what comes first is the student. You should know that. You're the principal." I could tell I wasn't going to like this guy because now he threw me off my train of thought. "Can you leave? I have 30 minutes until the next student has to come in." He snaked out the room unreluctantly leaving a haze in the air. "I don't like him." Kady whispers.

"Same." I blink a few times thinking about what I was saying. "What was I saying?"

"What I was saying. I said your emotions haven't kicked in yet. It's the calm before the storm but you are sooner or later might just break down and that's ok. It's ok to feel and lash out at people Zayn. Whenever it happens I hope you're in control of the situation and just know my office is open." If that was the case why hasn't it kicked in yet even hours after. Even when I'm at home with my siblings binging one of our favorite shows. Even when I drove home I didn't feel it yet or even when I went to bed and scrolled through social media until 3 am it didn't hit and I started wondering when it would hit already.

I just want to get it over with.

The next day I see Saintclair going through something at his locker and the reminder to tell him what Aaron said popped into my head.

"Saintclair I have to say this before I forget." He closes his book and side eyes me annoyed. Not his morning I guess. "Aaron knows." His face creases in confusion but seconds later he gets the message.

"How does he know?"

"I don't know. Aaron said Mormon told him but Mormon said it's not him, it was Aubrey and I don't know who to believe."

"It's obviously Aubrey. I mean somepart could be Mormon but it's definitely Aubrey."

"There are pictures and videos of us speaking to each other at the party. I have no idea who took them, it can't be Aubrey."

"I'm gonna be honest. I have an idea who." I wondered if we were on the same page were we picturing the same person in mind. We both stare at each other for a second wondering if we are thinking the same thing.

"I think it's Chantelle." We both speak at the same time. He raises an eyebrow surprised I got the idea.

"I know for sure he's got some stuff on him so he's an easy asset."

"Like what?" He shakes his head as he shoves his book in his locker.

"Stuff I can't share but I know he can use him as a little puppet with that." He shuts his locker ending the course of this conversation as he checks his shoes. "I think it's time you start digging yourself out of this."