I abhor you to the nth degree

Kenny: Lil bro where r u

Tobymoby: Shit is starting in 5 so c'mon.

Luvly: So the guy I'm staring at with the giant lollipop isn't him.

Kenny: Wat

Luvly: Nrm

I look at my family group chat scared to come out. I don't know. I don't know what is happening. I don't know if what he said is true and if it is and it's a scary reality. I wanted to be in control when I came out and I had an idea of how it's supposed to go and this is not it. Just suck it up. I should just suck it up and go out because being in here makes me seem weak. 

I walk back out to the art room and give Chantelle the finger. I can't look at that guy right now or I might actually do some damage. I then glare over at where Saintclair stood in the crowd with his usual heavy intimidating aura. He's the first to bring this to me. He catches my stare and smiles with an arched brow in suspension and confusion. The painting is suspended on a stand and covered by a tarp to conceal the "greatness".

"Hi, hello guests and students. Sir, Madam and youth. Tonight's art was chosen with a criteria. It was carefully picked amongst the others." The principal who I now know as Principal pointu et fou spoke while charismatically as he could make eye contact with a select few in the crowd. "The brush work, the figure. The expression of the art moves you and I hope it does because it did for me when I first saw it. This student here shows great potential, especially if you saw his other work tonight." He gestured to the other four paintings from Christian that were held on display. "I don't want to keep you waiting and I want you to interrupt it yourself. Here is the orchid by the window!" Crap. I know once that tarp falls, eyes would be on me and it scares me to death. I try to make myself as small as possible but I know I'm gonna be noticed once the eyes train on me. I close my eyes as I hear the orchestra, choir clapping and commenting on the painting. I don't want to see it nor do I want them to see me. 

"The people are talking." A voice erupts next to me startling me but I'm afraid to open my eyes but I recognise it as Daniela. "You saw what she sent you right?"

"Yes." 

"Closing your eyes won't stop people from noticing you, it just makes them stare more like now. So take my hand if you want to leave." I hesitate for a second but it's truly what I want to do. I could feel her pull me through the commune of people which felt endless and I could hear my name but I blocked it out until all I could hear was quiet. "You can open them now." I slowly but reluctantly opened them to see we were in a classroom. "It's not that bad."

"What do you mean it's not that bad?! I feel like I'm constantly being watched by people and like I'm under a microscope and there is no reason for it. I like peace. I like being unbothered but it- it's-" This is the breaking down moment that Kady was talking about. I kept getting close to it, edging it, skating around it but never really feeling what it's supposed to feel like but it's all snowballed into now where I feel like I can do nothing else than bawl my eyes out and my mind is completely blank well my eyes just keep drenching my face and mouth stays open in sobs. It's hard to keep going when you feel completely frustrated and like you have to put your feelings to the side. It's like she is not even in the room with me anymore or the room doesn't even exist just me in a space crying and it feels good. It feels nice to finally let it out and not stop myself or silently cry in the bathroom about my feelings. 

I don't know for how long we stood in there or when I got up but all I know is it kept going but it didn't ache it just felt like relief. All I knew is when the warmth of my bed and comfort of being surrounded by the familiar atmosphere of my own. I was stuck like that for a few days. I got up, ate, cried and slept, rinse and repeat. I just stared up at my ceiling from time to time with my eyes blurring from tears and just tiredness. 

The transition of going back to school didn't seem all bad. I felt much lighter and I would have to accept things were out of my control. I would have to go along with what occurred. Maybe people forgot. 

I was wrong. I should have taken a peak at the forums for my information even if it's overridden with bad information by Aubrey's 10s of accounts. If I did I would see the debate that was going on. I did not care about what happened the night of the showcase. I didn't want to know because it was all a blur. I think people expect me to be dead or transferred when they see me 

"Any comments." A really short guy with glasses shoved his phone in my face so I guess he was recording me. 

"Huh." I just got here. I haven't been here in two weeks.What the hell is this guy talking about. I could see he was a freshman from the pin on his jacket and the other pin below that was a journalism pin. Oh my god didn't Saintclair say he wasn't going to indulge in drama anymore. I just don't want this guy in my life. 

"Confirming who he is?"

"He who?" I don't even know who this is but he's clearly a freshman. 

"You haven't been online huh? Christian is your boyfriend right?" That question doesn't sound like it came out of left field like it was bound to be questioned. All I did was stare at him blankly which made him uncomfortable. "Care to comment." He questioned with an awkward smile. 

"No."

"It has to be cuz why are you the muse? It's like a love story from a movie. You two have been friends with each other for years."

"We are not friends, We are not in love, We don't have anything to do with each other. He is not my boyfriend and I would never date him. I am straight." I snap as all I want to do is push this guy. 

"Oh what's going on over here Potter."

"Stop mobbing me and spreading false information, Saintclair." I huff as I walk to my class. My morning back already started off bad. I pull out my phone as I slouch in my seat. I peek at the trending post and roll my eyes. It's always Aubrey. In a post titled "It's Christian!" He follows up that stupid post from the night of showcase with something pointing out the fact Elenore and Christian are now at odds and similar rumors swirling about him too. If only people knew the ugly truth. He pushes the idea that of course I am the muse. Everything is a ruse and I have actually been in a relationship with Christian for years…

My blood is boiling.

I stare at him in front of me in class really pissed and over this shit and he feels the heat and looks back and looks me up and down before turning back around. I need to end this shit. Right after class ended I followed him to wherever he was going and of course he could sense I was right behind him. He turned around with raised eyebrows. 

"What is your problem?" It flew out my mouth before I knew it. 

"My problem?" He huffed a laugh. "You're the one following me!" 

"Yes, what is your problem with me? I don't get it. Why me? Why do you keep doing all this stupid shit to me?" 

"I just don't like you. You don't need to have a problem to mess with people. I just think it's fun and you know what that was the reason for a while…" He trails off.

"For a while?" I raise my eyebrow as I shift my weight. "What do you mean by that?"

"I was doing it cuz I don't like you but then I had a good reason and it's because you were getting in my way." What the fuck is the blonde ass hole talking about. "When I realized Aaron started to actually like you and you had the same feelings it pushed a button and I just wanted to destroy you 10 times over without getting involved and it worked. People don't like you and you have mental damage right. That's the best revenge or whatever. The best thing that came out of this is I made the most impact in your pathetic little life negatively.  I don't just dislike you or hate you I abhor you to the nth degree." I knew he disliked me but not to this extent. My mind can't handle being disliked. It was one of my biggest fears and here it is presenting itself.