Chapter 39 ( I should tell him )

NATALIA'S POV

"Yeah, but we can't," I said feeling sad I can't believe I was letting this happen, I can't believe I was letting my feelings take control. as much as it annoyed me, I had no regrets. this was the first time I felt something like this. this was the first time I felt such a strong desire for someone. I think I am deeply in love with Rowan. but why? why were things going this way?

" I know," he said. he looked really happy " I also know that you will mine eventually I don't care what you say " my face instantly turned red, and immediately I got off him using my hand to massage my face. I can believe I am blushing so hard

" fuck " I whispered but he heard me

" you can be so cute at times " I rolled my eyes at his words " you got me worried a few minutes ago," he said and I raised an eyebrow at him " you cried. and I have never seen you cry " realization instantly hit me. I did cry. but how come, I never cry no matter how much I wanted to

" that is shocking, I never cry, " I said to him

" Never?" he was also in shock

" Never. since my mother died actually. I was alone in the house with her dead body. I couldn't cry I wanted to but I couldn't. I felt lost and alone, all the tires dried out. so I went to the sea and that loneliness disappeared, it was like the sea was filled with the tires of thousands of people along with mine. so whenever I felt down I go to the sea since I can't cry. " Rowan listened to my every word like I was telling him a story of great treasures

" what, " I asked and he shakes his head

" Nothing" he smiled but the smile faded instantly

" you never told me how your mother died," I asked realizing that I knew nothing about that. history books said she was killed by one of Rowan's uncles but at this point, I don't trust the history books again. it had a lot of uncovered stories.

" oh " that tone it was clear that he didn't want to talk about it

" oh, sorry. did not mean to hurt by asking that " he rolled his eyes at me

" you didn't hurt," he said

" oh "

" she died trying to protect me from my uncle, that night the men already left for war, even my father. he left my uncle, his trusted brother in charge but my uncle had his plans. he and his men attacked the castle. mother found out early and quickly took me to hide and that was the last time I was with her," he paused " she refuses to tell him where I was and before my father returned, she was gone and my uncle was captured"

" oh " I had nothing to say. I felt his pain. history books didn't tell us this side of the story

" my father didn't even let me see the body. he said I should have protected her. he said I was weak. it was my fault she died " there was pure sadness in his tone

" that is bullshit " I yelled and he was shocked I noticed through the way he jumped" you were only a kid how the fuck did he expects you to fight. he should be the one to blame for going out and trusting his brother to keep you and your mother safe "

" you sound upset," he said

" because I am " I sat down on the bed next to him with a frown. no wonder he had this idea of being too weak to rule. I rolled my eyes

" well. since then I never trusted anyone. not even my father " he said

" what about Conrad "

" Conrad is my mother's step brother this makes him my step-uncle. we are not that close" he explained " what about you. how did your mother die ?" that question was unexpecting

" pardon"

" it's ok if you don't want to talk about it " he wasn't going to force it and this made my heart hurt. he knows I was hiding something from him and he wasn't going to force it. was it how much he trust me?

" my father came home drunk and beat her to death," I said as the whole event played in my head. I guess that memory doesn't scare me again

" What!!" He was in shock " king Robert did that " then I realize that I shouldn't have said that.

" Rowan " it was time I tell him the truth. we can't go on like this " I think it's time for you to know everything" I said. he gave me his full attention instantly " I am not...." I was cut off by the very aggressive knock on the door

" shit " Rowan cursed and I raised an eyebrow at him. he just curse. that is not something one hears every day. the knocking didn't stop. he frowned before making his way to the door " yes, yes " he opened and Eric busted in shocking both of us

" Eric," we said at the same time

" Why are you here " With curiosity in Rowan's tone. he was panting heavily

" we..we have to get out of her " he managed to say

" why?" I stood up

" There is no time to explain. we have to leave right this instance" he yelled. Rowan knew that Eric will not tell us to leave there was nothing wrong.

" ok. Natalia, come " he said offering his hands. I walked to where he was standing and took his hand. immediately Eric opened the door and the next thing we heard was. BOOM. the building exploded. we went flying in the air and I had no idea where I landed but I knew I felt pain at the back of my head, serious pain.

the last thing I saw was someone running towards me. the environment was blurry, and fire everywhere. " Natalia. Natalia " it was Rowan's voice. I went blank