Pain - Volume 2 (nsfw)

(Two weeks later)

"And why do I have to know this?" Jiro asked sulking as Natsuo tried to explain to him what a quadratic equation means.

"It is helpful to understand basic concepts such as this," Natsuo explained as he had been tutoring him. Jiro's patience was particularly thin for the last few days, so Natsuo spoke slowly and clearly to ensure he fully understood everything.

"Helpful? This is fucking dumb," he snorted as he crossed his hands, not wanting to look at the math book in front of him.

Their schoolwork was spread out on the wooden table in their Nagoya home. Natsuo took another gulp of his cooled coffee, thinking he needed more caffeine to deal with the grumpy Jiro.

"I need to get out for a walk. All this sitting is hurting my back," Jiro said as Natsuo prepared to go through the subject one more time.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked as Jiro stood up wearing his support vest, but he brushed off Natsuo's proposition immediately.

"I'll go alone."

Natsuo's glance followed as he made his way to the entrance and slowly put on his coat. He wrapped a wool scarf around his neck and slipped his boots on using a shoe spoon. With a loud bang, he shut the door without looking back at his somber-looking partner.

Jiro's face never showed a single smile after they returned from Tokyo. A grave look etched his features and sometimes curses spilled from his mouth when a wave of pain hit him.

Natsuo was always there to help him with the most basic aspects of daily life, such as getting dressed or picking up dropped objects. He also took care of household chores and made sure that he had enough to eat, which sometimes resulted in an argument.

His smartphone rang on the table and he answered it with a weary tone.

"Hello. Are you having technical difficulties?" Dr. Kawahara asked, causing panic to rise in Natsuo's chest as he realized today was supposed to be Jiro's first online therapy session in months.

"I'm sorry - I think I messed up the dates - " Natsuo started to stutter when he got to the kitchen, seeing the reminder note glued to their refrigerator door. After taking a deep breath, he carefully peeled the piece of paper from the fridge.

"Well, we still have 45 minutes left," Kawahara said as Natsuo ran to their front door, noticing Jiro was already gone.

"Sorry, but he left for a walk," Natsuo sighed. He had hoped to give Jiro a safe and professional person to express his innermost thoughts. He still refused to discuss Kyoko or the crash that had taken her life, leaving Natsuo in the dark about his true feelings. Jiro maintained his silence, never willing to reveal his emotions, yet Natsuo could not help but notice the deep grief that he secretly held in his heart.

"We can still have a productive conversation. I can reschedule with him later," Kawahara said with understanding and asked how Jiro had been.

Natsuo wrinkled the note in his hand as he shut the door.

"Well, he is clearly in pain even though he wears the vest and does the physiotherapist's exercises..."

"And how is he handling that?"

"Poorly," Natsuo muttered as his gaze dropped to the floor in frustration.

"I understand. I'll see what I can do," Kawahara continued.

"Thank you," Natsuo said gratefully, relieved that she had agreed to help.

"And how are you doing? Are you still taking your medication regularly?"

"Yes..."

"And no voices or visions?"

"Nothing."

"Good. You could try taking less dosage for a few weeks to see if it works. I'll prescribe it for you."

"And what if - "

"Take your usual dosage if you experience any symptoms of psychosis."

"Okay... Thanks."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Kawahara asked in her motherly tone.

"I'm just worried about him..." Natsuo sighed, his voice tinged with concern as he imagined the estranged Jiro in his mind.

"I am sure you are, but I will see what I can do to help him. I'll be in touch."

Natsuo was left feeling somewhat reassured after their phone call ended, but still uncertain of what the future would hold. He reminded himself that the only thing he could do was take it one step at a time and trust that things would work out in the end.

(Later that evening)

Natsuo strolled back and forth at their entrance as he waited for Jiro to return home. He peered down the street through their window, hoping to catch a glimpse of his figure in the fading light.

Steam rose from the freshly cooked curry that Natsuo made on his own, even though he had to try the recipe three times to get it right. Although his deformed cat-shaped rice balls could not be compared to what a restaurant would have served, they were filled with a lot of effort.

Candle flames flickered on the table he had set up, setting the mood for the special evening he had planned.

His heart leaped when he finally saw Jiro walking towards the house, and he quickly opened the door to welcome him into the warm, romantic atmosphere. Jiro looked at the dinner table after taking off his shoes and hanging his coat on the rack.

"You made this?"

"Yeah... I thought - " Natsuo started as his cheeks heated from slight embarrassment.

"Sorry, I already ate while I was out," Jiro said with a frown.

Natsuo dropped his gaze and felt a pinch of disappointment, but he forced a small smile onto his face.

"It's okay... I wasn't really hungry anyway."

"No, you should definitely eat. You are starting to look too skinny again," Jiro shrugged as he headed toward their bedroom.

Natsuo's eyes widened and the weak smile on his face disappeared as his words sank in.

He quickly blew the candles off and the room was engulfed in pitch blackness. It was his turn to disappear into the winter air to gasp for fresh air after grabbing his jacket - he stepped out into the frigid evening, wanting to to clear his head and shake the unsettling feeling the statement had left him with.

(Later that night)

A flash of light woke Natsuo as he had fallen asleep on their couch. He groggily stirred, squinting at the brightness and noticing Jiro leaning against the doorframe as he stared at him.

"Really? You decided to sleep here?" Jiro asked with a snort.

Natsuo had returned only after long hours since he had no problem spending time outside with his thoughts. He enjoyed meandering through quiet streets, soaking up the peace they brought him.

"I didn't want to wake you up..." Natsuo muttered as he rubbed his eyes.

"You're mad at me for what I said," Jiro sighed.

Natsuo shook his head as his eyes cast to the ground. His comments about his weight didn't feel comfortable, but he didn't want to dwell on it.

"I didn't mean it in a negative way. You keep nagging me about eating, even though you - "

"I don't nag about it," Natsuo insisted firmly.

"I appreciate what you are doing for me. But you need to understand what I am dealing with..."

"... is much more difficult than I can express in any way," Jiro concluded in a low voice after pausing to breathe.

"But you seem to be pushing me away..." Natsuo said, his expression solemn and thoughtful.

They were both in silence, unable to find the right way to describe their feelings. Natsuo's words were left hanging in the air, waiting for a response.

"Let's go have sex," Jiro declared, raw emotion filling his voice.

Natsuo shifted his surprised face at him, unsure of how to respond to Jiro's sudden impassioned outburst. They hadn't been intimate with each other since returning home, and even Natsuo gave up kissing him since he was the only one initiating them.

Jiro pulled him up and escorted him toward the bedroom.

"But what about your - " Natsuo tried to ask when they reached their messy bed.

"You bend over and I can be on my knees," Jiro answered.

Natsuo was still stunned by his suggestion but found himself nodding in agreement. Jiro yanked his cautious lover's oversized hoodie off and threw it on the floor. He was roughly undressing him and slipped his own shorts on his ankles.

"Go lie down and I'll prepare you," Jiro commanded and searched for the lubricant inside the bedside table.

Natsuo braced himself for what seemed like a longer night than he expected. He had no choice but to follow Jiro's orders, uncertain of the pleasure or pain that awaited him.

(A while later)

Natsuo had already lost feeling in his lower body as Jiro kept thrusting into him in a more aggressive way than ever before.

He was clutching their bed linens and scowled his face as the continuous, insensitive pushes kept coming. The exertion to keep himself in the position was making his legs tremble. His knees pointed inwards and his fingers tucked into the fabric even harder when his body started to throb with pain.

In an effort to maintain his posture, he lowered himself onto his forearms and arced his back.

Only a few thrusts later Jiro groaned and released his load, shaking as he emptied himself into Natsuo with a deep, slow pulse.

"Why would you do that?" Jiro huffed as he drew himself out of him.

"W-what do you mean...?"

"Twist your back like that... Roll over, I'll finish you with my mouth," Jiro said with a harsh tone and flipped Natsuo's limp legs so he was facing his crotch.

"No you shouldn't - " Natsuo tried to convince, but gasped when Jiro shoved a wet toy back into him and spread his knees apart.

"I'll never leave my partners unsatisfied," Jiro stated as he dived between his thighs.

Natsuo was still leaning on his elbows when Jiro tightly encircled his private area with his lips. He sucked his sensitive spot in the same rhythm as he moved the toy inside him with his right hand.

His body melted as Jiro added his left hand to pump his pulsating stem. He couldn't hide his faint moans or deep breaths anymore as Jiro relentlessly increased the intensity of his touches.

Natsuo squeezed his eyes even tighter, desperately trying to focus on the moment and forget the weird confusion inside him. Jiro had acted harshly like an automated machine, in a way that was out of his character. His manner was so mechanical and soulless as if his love and affection had been stripped away.

His mind wandered back to their engagement night, his birthday, or their sudden love hotel trips... a surge of emotions spread over him as those memories rushed back to him and he embraced them with newfound appreciation.

He finally reached his peak when an unstoppable flood of pleasure coursed through his body. His head rolled back and his body shook uncontrollably as he submitted to the satisfaction that Jiro had coaxed out of him.

When Natsuo dared to stretch his eyes open again he was shocked to see Jiro's cheeks soaked in tears.

"It hurts... fuck, it hurts..."

His voice was a ragged whisper, yet dripping with anguish that stunned Natsuo to the core.

He reached out to help him lie down as he had been straining his back the whole time. Jiro collapsed into his partner's arms, his body trembling in pain.

"I can't take it anymore," Jiro sobbed and he clutched helplessly at Natsuo, his fingernails sinking into his skin. Tears streamed down his face and his chest heaved as he struggled to draw breath.

"I'm sorry... I wish I could take it all away..." Natsuo murmured as he stroked his bare and scarred back. His heart ached with sorrow as he held Jiro, not knowing what to do or say to ease his beloved's suffering - all he could do was hold him and offer what comfort he could...