Home - Volume 2

The glass doors of the surgical ward looked surprisingly large when Natsuo stood behind them.

With faintly trembling fingers he touched the handle and pulled the door open, stepping inside and peering into the corridor beyond.

Even though Jiro was now conscious and had moved away from the ICU, Natsuo wasn't sure if he would be allowed to visit him at the public hospital.

"Can I help you?" A young nurse asked as she stepped outside their office station and saw Natsuo looking rather lost.

"I'm here to see a patient named Jiro Takuya... I'm his... family... he was transferred here this morning," Natsuo stuttered, his voice trembling with a mixture of uncertainty and anticipation.

As he waited for the answer that would decide everything, he swallowed hard and his heart began to beat rapidly.

"Ah, yes. Let me show you the way," the nurse answered with a bow and nodded down the long hallway.

He followed her with a relieved sigh and felt a sudden surge of hope - but also a slight fear as their encounters in hospitals had been almost every time somewhat unpleasant.

"He is a little tired from medication, so please let him rest after a while," the nurse asked politely as she stopped behind one patient's room.

"Thanks for your help," Natsuo replied with a bow.

He stood motionless as he drew deep breaths and desperately tried to remain calm. His legs trembled as he took steps toward the door and opened it, just praying that he would still remember him...

Natsuo's gaze traveled over the bed and the patient lying on it, surrounded by beeping monitors. He tried to take in the scene of his patched loved one attached to all kinds of tubes, looking atrophied and exhausted.

As neither of them spoke, they fell into a state of stillness and silence. Natsuo felt tears threaten to spill down his cheeks, but he managed to put on a brave face as they looked at each other.

Jiro shifted with his operated hip on the side of the bed and gently tapped the free space he had created.

Natsuo gulped, blinking back tears and forcing a small smile as he approached him. Jiro's tattooed arms pulled his thin body to lie next to him and Natsuo tucked his head into his shoulder as tears finally escaped his eyes.

"Let's buy that island... and just live there without ever leaving it..." Natsuo sobbed quietly.

His stress from the last few weeks melted away as Jiro stroked softly his hair. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt Jiro's gentle touch and envisioned their island paradise of no worries.

(One day later)

"Did you have a funeral for her?" Jiro asked with a heavy heart as he was sitting on his unmade hospital bed. Natsuo's eyes darted from the scar on his scalp to his hands resting on his thighs.

"We did... Rei and Hide came here as well. And Ishikawa."

Jiro's expression turned more sullen and his posture became more slumped. Natsuo crouched in front of Jiro, trying to comfort him as he touched his hands but Jiro pulled them away.

"Jiro..."

"I'm just not ready to talk about that."

"But it wasn't your fault..." Natsuo said as he felt a twinge of helplessness.

There was a knock on the door and Jiro's physiotherapist came in, apologizing for interrupting and asking if he was ready to start their session.

"If you don't mind we could go to my office. It's good for you to get a few steps in," he continued.

"Is it okay if I join as well?" Natsuo asked. Jiro nodded in agreement when the therapist gave him a questioning look.

"All right then. Come with me."

Natsuo helped put slippers on Jiro's feet and extended his elbow so they could walk arm-in-arm. They made their way slowly together, their bodies close together, but Natsuo sensed that Jiro was in some way moving farther away with every step.

(A while later)

The physiotherapist was instructing Jiro on his rehabilitation as he lay on a gym mat on the floor. Natsuo could see the frustration on his face when he only tensed his abdominal muscles.

"Focus on your breathing," the physiotherapist said, causing Jiro's fists to tighten and his nostrils to flare.

"Does it still hurt?"

Jiro nodded his head slowly in response, the clenched expression on his face reflecting the pain he was feeling.

"You need to give your body more time. It could take a few months for your spine to heal completely," the therapist continued, trying to sound encouraging even though Jiro's face only darkened.

Natsuo had been following their treatment as an observer and reviewing brochures about patients with vertebral fractures. Before that he had also been researching the internet to understand the recovery process and any potential risks associated with it, since he wanted to assist Jiro in any way he could.

"Okay, we'll set you up with the right size vest that supports your back," the therapist said and glanced at Natsuo after telling him they lived together.

"It's easier to dress when someone else does it for you. Do you want to see how it's done?"

"Yes please," Natsuo said and straightened up right away.

"Okay, I'll be right back," the therapist smiled before leaving the room.

Natsuo settled down next to Jiro, who was staring at the roof with cloudy eyes while breathing shallowly. Natsuo squeezed his fist gently, offering a silent reminder that he was not alone.

"This is only temporary," Natsuo emphasized quietly. Jiro locked his grip around Natsuo's fingers as he closed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh.

(One day later)

"I will pick you up tomorrow morning. I'll buy you a set of clothes and our train leaves at ten," Natsuo explained as he visited Jiro again the following day. Though doctors had told him he would be discharged tomorrow, the look on his face was dejected and his lips were pointing downward.

Natsuo dropped a bag of snacks he had bought on his way there, hoping that his favorite candy would cheer him up even slightly.

Jiro's gaze was distant as if he was looking beyond the walls of the room and into some unknown world.

As Jiro was lost in his own thoughts, Natsuo cautiously sat down beside him, trying to decipher the unspoken words that filled the atmosphere.

"Do you... remember what happened the previous night?" Natsuo asked hesitantly.

Jiro slowly looked up, his face revealing a mixture of anxiety and guilt. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out for a second.

"No, sorry... I don't."

His voice wavered as he choked out the words. Natsuo forced him to smile and nod, but his expression was anything but genuine.

"It's alright. The most important thing is that you are safe."

Natsuo thought that revealing Jiro's desire to get married might confuse him, so he decided to keep it to himself. He could tell him about it when the time was right.

"Or do you remember when we were in England? After you and Yoshio saved me?"

"I do."

"Or when you check into the mental hospital... just to be there for me..."

Jiro's eyes shifted toward him as Natsuo recalled the past. He had been scared and troubled, and yet Jiro cared for him every step of the way, no matter the cost. His unwavering commitment had been a source of immense comfort for Natsuo, and he had never forgotten it.

"If you ever need or want anything, please let me know. I will do anything to make you feel better."

Natsuo understood that the best way to support Jiro was to let him come to him when he was ready - and that he would always be waiting for him.

(Tomorrow morning)

All of Natsuo's new schoolbooks had been packed into a sack, and he planned to drop them off at a local library before meeting Jiro. He had also bought a pink, unicorn-themed backpack for children as he noticed how the owner's granddaughter seemed to like magical animals.

The nearest bank worker had managed to keep her face neutral when Natsuo asked her to load the pink bag with ten million yen from his bank account. The rest of the money was on a debit card inside an envelope. It was uncommon in Japan to leave a tip, so he left a note expressing his gratitude for the noodles.

He dragged his luggage to the ground floor of the motel and waited when the elderly owner assisted a drunken guest into his room.

"Ah, dear. It looks like you are leaving today," she said to him with a sweet smile.

"This is for you granddaughter. And what is inside is for you," Natsuo answered and lowered the unicorn bag with a thud.

She looked up at Natsuo with surprise, delighted that he remembered her granddaughter.

"Thank you, dear. You didn't have to go through all this trouble for us," she said quietly, her eyes shimmering with emotion.

"Please try to take that day off," Natsuo said with a small bow, giving her one of his warmest smiles.

(Later that morning)

Natsuo was once again back in the surgical ward, but this time he hoped it would be his last visit. He greeted the nurses as he walked past their station and made his way to Jiro's patient room at the back.

It took him a moment to realize that it was really Jiro who was waiting for him without his white hair. A slightly reddened scar from brain surgery decorated his new dark buzz cut. His unkempt stubble was already starting to look like a beard, so his tattoos were the only thing that reminded him of his old self.

"My head looked dumb with all the bald spots," Jiro explained as Natsuo rushed straight to touch his scalp, letting his fingers run across the rough texture in amazement.

"How bad does it look?" He asked grimly.

"You look great in everything," Natsuo replied with a smile, recalling their first date and leaned forward to kiss him.

Natsuo cradled his face in his hands, making sure he was looking into his eyes as he whispered:

"Let's go home."