Addiction - Volume 2

A sluggish pair of grayish-brown eyes stared at their reflection in the mirror. Jiro looked at his appearance with a sense of detachment as if he were a stranger. His muscles were shrunken, dark shadows were encircling his eyes and his skin had turned lifeless. He stared at his image for what felt like an eternity, wondering who this person in the mirror was.

A burning and throbbing pain had spread from his spine to his legs as he stood in his bathroom. He winced in pain as he shifted his weight and the memories of the accident he had suffered months ago came pouring back.

Jiro thought he was unbreakable after surviving all the horrors of his life, but the crash had left him broken and weak. The truth had to be faced - he was no longer the same person he once was.

His eyes filled with tears as he thought of Natsuo, the love and light of his life that had been with him through everything. He had refused to accept his help and allowed the darkness of his pain to consume him, leaving him to suffer in his own misery. His heart ached as he remembered hurting the one person who truly cared for him.

He gritted his teeth as he made a silent vow to himself to turn things around. He would do everything in his power to be the person Natsuo deserved, the one that he had been before the accident. It was up to him to put things right, to be the man Natsuo had fallen in love with.

Jiro stepped back from the mirror and took a deep breath. He grabbed a razor and began to shave off the unruly beard that had been covering his jaw for months. As he watched the thick hair fall away, he could finally see a glimpse of his former self. He ran his hands over his newly-shaven face, feeling the familiar contours of his features that he had once known so well.

(Later that day)

Jiro nervously glanced around the same street as yesterday. His heart was pounding as he made his way up the steps of Hide's apartment building and knocked on the door. He could feel his palms begin to sweat as he waited - he had practiced his speech multiple times, but now that the moment was here, he could feel the words slipping away from him.

He nervously clutched the bouquet of flowers in one hand and the box of chocolate-covered cherries in the other, hoping that would be enough to get Natsuo at least to talk.

Five minutes passed without an answer. Jiro checked the phone app they agreed to use to keep track of each other's whereabouts and Hashimoto's apartment was still marked as Natsuo's location.

He tried calling Natsuo several times, but his calls never went through. Even his texts went unanswered, which was extremely unlike Natsuo. He had always been so responsive and quick to reply, but now it seemed as if he had disappeared into thin air. His thoughts turned to think that Natsuo had wandered off again like he did whenever things got uncomfortable, but he had always returned - except for one time when they visited London.

Jiro sent a new text message in which he begged Natsuo to come back to him, to give them a chance to try again. He promised to do better and enter rehab so he could be the man Natsuo deserved. At the end of the message, he expressed his deepest love for him and reminded him that he would always follow him anywhere.

(Elsewhere at the same time)

Hide squeezed from the leather-covered smartphone as he read the desperate message from Takuya.

He clenched his fists as he finished the text, anger starting to bubble inside him. He put the phone in his jeans pocket and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

Natsuo would only become more confused if he saw Jiro's message. It was crucial to get him away from Jiro as soon as possible.

Hide stepped closer to the bed and brushed the hair away from Natsuo's face. He felt a twinge of sadness when he saw how peaceful Natsuo looked, unaware of the turmoil that was unfolding outside the bedroom. His breathing was slow and steady as he watched his chest rise and fall, making Hide smile as he imagined him between the same sheets every night.

His embrace tightened around Natsuo after he settled down carefully on the bed. He closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of his hair, feeling comfortable and confident. He could feel Natsuo's heart beating against his chest, knowing he had to shield him from the storm that was approaching.

Natsuo opened his blue eyes slowly, disoriented and confused by his surroundings. There was an unfamiliar heaviness on his chest and when he looked up, he saw Hide holding him in a protective hug.

He was so startled that he nearly fell off the bed, but Hide quickly tightened his grip to keep him from tumbling off.

"Hey, it's alright," Hide smiled amusedly.

"Why are we - what happened - why don't you have a shirt on?" Natsuo asked embarrassedly.

"Don't worry, I don't mind that you clung to me," Hide said as he picked up his shirt from the floor and slipped it on.

"What? I don't remember... didn't I pass out on the couch?" Natsuo muttered as he tried to recall last night, but could only taste the alcohol in his mouth before everything went blank. He had forgotten what a hangover felt like, the pounding headache and the dry mouth, the feeling of being completely and utterly drained.

"You probably just confused me with Takuya," Hide explained calmly.

Natsuo couldn't believe he had done something so out of character. He felt ashamed that he had clung to Hide while he was asleep, not remembering a thing. His heart thumped as he wondered if Jiro had made a decision during the night.

"Have you seen my phone?" He asked and tried to move, feeling a flood of nausea about to wash over him.

"No, why?" Hide replied.

"It's missing," Natsuo said, looking around the bed and wondering if it had been lost between the couch pillows.

"Maybe it's somewhere else in the apartment. I'll help you look for it," Hide said as he pulled Natsuo to stand up, whose face turned pale as sickness rose within him.

"The bathroom is over there," Hide said pointing to the black door in the corner, his eyes following him as he ran there quickly. He listened as Natsuo puked in the toilet and reached for the phone in his pocket, opening the earlier text message from Jiro.

He typed a reply and hit the send button, hoping it was enough for him to stop bothering Natsuo.

Even though he knew it was wrong to meddle with another's life, he had to if he wanted to protect Natsuo from Jiro's malicious intentions. He had to act behind Natsuo's back if he wanted to keep him safe.

He quickly stashed the phone in the nearby drawer and quietly closed it, hoping that Natsuo wouldn't notice it.

"Are you okay in there?" Hide asked as he heard the flush of the toilet and the sound of water running.

Natsuo emerged from the bathroom, his face still pale and his eyes heavy with fatigue.

"Do you mind if I sleep for a while?" He asked, his voice weak and his body swaying with exhaustion.

"No, go ahead," Hide said, motioning for him to get back into bed. He watched with a satisfied smile as the soft blanket embraced his figure and his breathing slowly deepened.

(Later that day)

Tears flowed down Jiro's face as he sat at the entrance of the house he had brought for Natsuo and him. It was supposed to be their home and a place to start anew, but now it was nothing but a reminder of their broken dreams and the pain of their past.

His hand gripped an official city document that had arrived by mail. He had filled out the forms and sent them to the authorities the night before the accident, requesting a partnership certificate after his spouse fell asleep.

Memories from the night before flooded back into his mind - how they talked about getting married and how they envisioned a future together, free of pain and sorrow, filled with love and laughter.

Their honeymoon trip would take them to all the exotic places they wanted to visit - the Caribbean, the Mediterranean, the Indian Ocean - and they would find an island of their own, a paradise where they could be safe and together. They would build a home and watch the sunset every night, their love growing stronger with each passing day.

They would create a house with an enormous backyard that looked out onto the sea. Jiro would have his own fitness gym and Natsuo would have his own library stocked with all the books he could ever want.

There would be no need to worry about running out of coffee, as the bedroom would have its own beverage station, stocked with all the beans and flavors they could ever need. It would be the perfect place to call home.

Their plan was to buy the rings the next day, but the accident put a stop to all those dreams. He had hoped to kneel and officially ask Natsuo to marry him, but he wasn't sure if that would happen.

He wiped away his tears, his hands trembling as he thought of what could have been if he had never been in that crash. He had been so close to having the future he had always imagined, and now it was gone.

It broke his heart as he read the text again and again, trying to process what it meant. The pain in his chest was far deeper than the burning in his spine, causing him to feel as if his insides had been torn out.

He understood that Natsuo was asking him to let go, to stop clinging to a future that was no longer possible. There was a part of him that wanted to tell Natsuo how much he loved him now and forever, but he couldn't find the words to express his feelings.

Jiro stood up with trembling legs and walked to the kitchen, his mind overflowing with thoughts of his lover and the life they had fantasized about together.

He took the bottle of opioids, his hands shaking as he opened it and poured the contents down his throat. The bitterness of the pills lingered on his tongue and he washed them down with a mouthful of beer. Now all he could do was wait, hoping the pain would go away...