PROLOGUE

"Ask yourself this," I told him.

"Why, oh why, would you ever want to be with a man that you have constanly beg to treat you right?"

I will wait until the timing is right when all the stars aligned and you are ready for this love of mine take your time, clear what is on your mind because to me you are worth the fight.

With every drops of your tears, I don't want to see. accompanied by the cold we feel. You always come and hug me.

𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗝𝐈 𝗣𝗢𝗩

I stood up from my lying down. I went to the kitchen, to the refrigerator and I took a pitchel with a cold water and a glass. Every time I drink a single drop of water, a different chirp I heard from the outside, especially the birds and the breeze.

I went upstairs and stared at the terrace I could see the extent of our place. It's fun to look at while vibrant the every people smiling. The place even more colorful because of that. What a beautiful weather. .. Everything was nice. The sky, The buildings, They say that every ending has a new beginning.

It's been so long since I last saw him, And I don't know how to face him again. I was remembered the time how he would play my feelings and denied me in front of his friends. Still deeply painful but not the same as before. Of course, The feelings will never go entirely but over time they'll fade. "Why am I ruinning a perfectly nice day? I have to run first so I can forget that bastard!"

I'm Ayato, Henji. When I was a young I get it to the point that I like guys and the first I entered relationship is when I'm first year college.

In the middle of my run. I suddenly remembered the time I was just starting working out and starting a new life. I avoided communicating with people, messages and events to fix myself also to forgot him. I didn't touch my phone for a couple of months and I couldn't keep in touch to Ella.

Ella was worried because of that. She having a thought something bad happened to me that I didn't answer her text and calls. She end up broken my door as her eyes glazed over as she looked for me every corner of my apartment but she didn't find me. "It could be he was in?" she rushed and went where I was staying when something bad happened or when I feel sad. I always sitting near the river of St. Jame's Park. The most peaceful place for me. I often came there when I am having a hard time.

That time, Ella saw me lifeless near in the river with a bunch of beers and scolded me how worried she was. She gave me a gaze for a seconds and starting laughing at me. "Do you know how ugly you are right now?" She said and taking a pictures of me.

Because of her I was so annoyed that I forgot the reason why I am crying. I threw a can of beer at her face and the other hand she retaliated against me until we chased each other.

After that we went to my apartment.

" W-WHAAAAAT!!!? "

That day I don't have any idea how Ella was a son of bitch or something. I was suprised what I saw. The door was broken, my clothes, even my underwear was all messed up everywhere. I guess that there was a thief but Ella explained to me everything why she did that. ..

But at the same time but nevertheless she always by my side and didn't leave me. She's a good person. Whenever I'm having a hard time, She's always there for me. I owe her a lot. Back then I was crying for some reason. I didn't say a word, nor did she ask, but she stayed with me.

While I was middle on my thoughts Ella was calling to me. Speak of the devil. ..

*Ringging*

"I see. .. I'm on my way home."

I was wondering where I enter a new job because of my certain job was unable suit in my personality. I kept messing around and make mistake give rise to the company fired me because how fool I am in work.

In my way home there was a dog waiting me. Wagging her tail saying that she was waiting me. "Omg! I thought you are dead" Ella said when the first time she saw me and I was exhausted. I don't wanna argue so I let her win this time. I went first in the kitchen to drink some cold water perfect combination with my hot and exhausted soul. Ella sat in my couch, I ask her what her want to say that she couldn't want to talk over the phone. She said that was so important.

"Come on! don't beat yourself in the past and hangout with me." oh, yeah because of the breakup I couldn't come in any events. I stopped hangging out and went bars. So I guess ella wasn't talking nonsense right now. Should forget the past years left behind, And make some noise this time. I decide to come and agree what Ella said to me.

To be honest, I am healing not because I sought help but I myself managed to treat my wounds. My past had left me woes and scratches that are oppressing my present life, unable me to move forward vigorously. I am being so feebled by my struggles and was drained enough. However, my courage never failed to keep me going and to heal. I was being dumped but I was lifted up by my own efforts. I got this very far and I am happy to see myself healing and enriching my versatility. My fragile portion had vanished for time had stabilized me, making my pieces able to withstand the strongest hurricane.

"I didn't know what should I wear tonight, should I wear this? or this?" The reason why I forgot to meet Ella on time.

*BANGGGGGGGGGG!*

I heard loud sound downstairs and I went down to look whats happening there, I suprised what I saw because Ella was look pissed off and I laugh to her face.. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Do you know how ugly you are?" Ella was say nothing to me, went in front on me and punched me with full force. she beat me half in death. I couldn't say anything after that.

"Know your place, moron." She gave me a gaze of death.

We went to the speakeasy, Ella was so angry and grab me into that bar. "Enjoy! have fun."

Ella left me I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to do because after the few years I didn't come in bars. I feel bored, the bartender offered me a cocktail that was called red evergreen.

This cocktail takes a little prep; you need to make some rosemary simple syrup first, but it gives the red mixed drink a delicious herbal flavor that makes the few minutes of extra effort worthwhile. The recipe makes one cocktail. There are several ingredients you can use to make red cocktails. Cranberry juice, strawberries, red wine, sweet Vermouth, pomegranate juice, tomato juice, and grenadine can all produce red colored mixed drinks, and you'll find these ingredients and others in a number of tasty light red to bright ed cocktails and red-colored shots. "Are you alone?" The bartender said to me. And I answered straight away to him to avoid more conversation.

Do I look sad? I guess I should enjoy myself here. Forget the damn past and I'll drank all the types of liquor here. have fun self!

And I heard a man voice behind me, I turned around. He's cute anyway. "Would you mind if I drink with you?" the man said in front of me. I thought that wasn't me and I turned around again.

"You mean, me?" He agree. but why me? not anyone. .. someone help me, and I couldn't refuse.

Can you atleast take away your gaze on me, makes me so uncomfortable right now. ..

"Oh, I forgot. let me introduce myself. I'm Fushiguro, Ivan" he reached out his right hand to introduce himself with a big smile on his lips.

I thought he has an aphasia. After a few drinks with him. I told him I still had important things to do and I instanly left him.

Ella where the hell are you?! I'm drank. .. Thank god I found her. "Gotcha! let's leave now." I found her in the middle of the bar fooling around with bunch of youths. I grab her, let her go over my shoulder.

"Do you know how heavy you are right now?" I guess I couldn't carried Ella anymore. I felt dizzy. w-wait? who are you? I think we're gonna fall. ..

----------------------------

Where am I? don't tell me there's someone next to me! "Argh! my head is killing me." Why he's here and next to me? REALLYYYYY??? tch. I have to go before he woke up. I suddenly leave the motel.

I feel exhausted after that, I think I should call Ella where the hell is she doing right now and I have to say something to her. I might she alright, didn't she?

*RINGRING*

Speak of the devil, she called me before I could call her and that was a great timing and I immedietly answered her call. "Come to my house, right now."

Omg. What happened last night and why Ivan sleeping next to me. I don't have any idea. I keep recalling what happened last night in the bar but the last I remembered is me and Ella are fell in the ground, then someone carried me. I didn't realize that was Ivan.

Oh, Ella is here.

[DOOR OPENS]

"You're the ugliest I've ever seen" Ella said on her first step on my room and first I heard the useless word from her. I have so many question in my mind that I want to ask but Ella looks didn't know anything what happened. "Shut up. seems like I want to eat cold noodles, Let's go to Ojang-dong."

I suppose I'm just too tired and maybe I'll pass away of what happened because it's not important to waste my time and it would be better not for the two of us to cross paths again.