Chapter Four: Flash Forward

So it's been about a month and a half since everything happened with Jude and Sabrina. I've been getting better about that with the help of Jordyn, but I don't think my feelings are completely gone. It also doesn't help that Jordyn thinks we'd be cute and she's always saying that we're gonna get together someday. Keyword there is someday. Maybe, I don't know, just maybe someday in the far future we could get together, but I just don't see him and Sabrina breaking up anytime soon. I've heard a few stories from some of her friends about her past life, and I told Jude everything I heard but he just got upset and told me "I don't care who she was before, she can change. I just care about who she is now." Someone with so much trash in their past can't change that easily, but Jude is blinded and doesn't see that.

Jordyn and Ray have gotten pretty close this past month. They are so cute, but she insists that they're just friends and he doesn't like her he likes one of three other girls. Which is a big lie because he only acts touchy and flirtatious with her. When they get together I'm going to say "I told you so."

It's the middle of October, which means Homecoming is approaching us pretty quickly. School's been fine, I have all A's, well except for in Biology, that shit is pretty hard for me, I have a B+. This week is Spirit Week, but I'm not really feeling any spirit in me right now. All I could really think about is how Jude is going to ask Sabrina, it's all he's been talking about lately. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty cute, but it stings a little. It also stings a little at the fact that both of my best friends are going to have dates so I'm going to be either a loner or third wheeling one of them.

It's Sunday night and I'm stuck in my thoughts. I don't really know how I feel about Jude anymore, he's a great guy but maybe I shouldn't waste my time with something that isn't going to happen. Also the fact that tomorrow is Monday sucks. At least I get to go to school in my pjs.

My alarm clock goes off at 6:45 am since we start at 8:30 am today. I take a quick shower, dry my hair, put on some pajama pants, a big t-shirt, and slippers. Funny story, the t-shirt actually belongs to Jude, but he doesn't know I took it. It's really comfortable so I just had to take it. I put my wet hair in a messy bun and didn't even bother to look in the mirror to see if it turned out okay, and I didn't put on any makeup so I probably look dead. It's pajama day, so why try to look decent?

Jude was at my house by 7:40 am, enough time to eat breakfast before we left for school. Something was different though, when I opened the door he seemed in a rush. He just brushed past me into the kitchen, what a pig. "Good Morning Tom," he said to my dad as he walked into the kitchen. What the hell, he didn't even say anything to me.

"Morning Jude, you're wearing your glasses today," he said to Jude. Jude looked adorable in glasses, but he never likes to wear them. I think they're pretty attractive on him. Stop thinking that Aly, get it out of your head. You guys are just friends and will always only be friends. I say to myself in my head, honestly, I need to find a way to stop thinking about him.

"Oh shoot, I was in a rush this morning I didn't even notice. I was so busy getting all the stuff I need to ask Sabrina to homecoming," my dad just gave me a glance to see if I was okay after Jude had said that.

"You're asking her today?" I asked.

"Yeah, thought the sooner the better," he said while shrugging his shoulders.

"Why rush into it? Why not wait for a good moment?" My dad questioned him. My dad basically read my mind. Jude was rushing into everything way too fast. Not just this homecoming proposal, but into everything, I mean he had barely known Sabrina a month before asking her out. This wasn't the Jude I knew, nor the Jude I grew up with. I mean he barely told me about when he asked her out, he kind of just blurted it out like it was nothing. This was all happening too fast.

"I don't think I'm rushing it. I love her," he said like it was absolutely nothing. My dad nearly choked on his coffee, and I almost choked on my toast.

"You love her?" My dad managed to say in between coughs raising his voice a little with the word her.

"Of course I do, she's amazing, there's no one better," my dad gave me a quick glance and I knew what he was thinking, you're better for him, "I mean I may only be a freshman in high school, but I hope we stay together forever," he said with a smile that looked like a little kids when they were dreaming.

"Jude, you're crazy. You are getting way ahead of yourself," my dad told him as I stood frozen in the corner of the kitchen counter. I couldn't really process anything. Jude was in love, but it was with someone he barely really knew, a girl I heard nothing but harsh things about.

School day was a bore. I decided to walk home alone today, wasn't really in the mood for company today. The fact that Jude had already asked Sabrina to be his girlfriend without even really being friends first sucks. Now he's saying that he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her? I don't think he's making the best decisions right now. There's nothing I can really do about it, he was gone. The Jude I once knew was not there anymore.

He asked her to homecoming during lunch today, people clapped but if you looked around you could see how disgusted their faces were, plastered with fake smiles. I heard some people talking about her, from what I heard it doesn't seem as though many people like her. I found it pretty funny.

Night came and I was ready for bed, so many thoughts in my head. I remember falling asleep pretty fast with the thoughts still in my head.

———

"I love you more than you could ever know Aly. You're so special to me. I want you more than anything," Jude said to me as we walked to the park hand-in-hand.

"I love you so much more bubs," I would tell him.

Then we would climb up to the top of the tree we loved so much and hold each other. His hand would rest on my thigh, our heads leaned and touched as we looked out into the park. He would tell me how much I meant to him. Kiss my forehead, hand, cheek, and neck. We'd look into each others eyes for a long time before he'd break the silence saying "I love you," in such a soft voice. I'd say it back before we'd lean in and kissed. Not a very long one, it was quick, but it didn't make it less amazing, it was good, even almost perfect. Maybe we'd share a few more kisses, and cuddle a little. Time would pass and we'd make our way back home.

In the house we would lay on the couch, me safe inside his arms. Time would just stop, everything would be amazing. We'd lay on the couch all night watching movies, scary movies to be exact. He'd make me feel protected by kissing my forehead when I jumped and got scared. Tell me how beautiful he thought I was even though I knew he was lying because I am not anywhere near beautiful. Everything was perfect, I couldn't ask for more. It almost felt like a dream.

———

I woke up to my alarm going off.

It was sure as hell a dream. How could it possibly be real, why would a guy like him ever like me. Nothing was that perfect, it was just a dream. A dream I'd wish to come true, even though I knew it never would. It was too good to be true. Besides, he looks happier with her, but I'm happier with him.