Chapter Eleven: Perfect Day

I haven't heard from Jude in two days, I've started to get a little worried about him actually. He just turned around and walked away when he saw Luke and me, I didn't go after him and I probably should have. He broke up with Sabrina and he wasn't taking it easy, but I don't know how to help him when he won't talk to me. I didn't do anything to him, he has no right to be mad at me.

Luke and I aren't dating, I want to make that clear. We just decided to talk more and spend more time together to see where it goes. Truthfully, I can't see him in that way because I have a crush on Jude. As pathetic as it is, I know what Luke said was true but I still want to be with him. I don't want to be a rebound because I know I deserve better and no one deserves to be a rebound.

I'm walking to Jude's house to talk to him and I hope he's there. When I get there I knock three times before I get an answer. It's Jude. He just stands there, doesn't even invite me in. He barely even makes eye contact with me.

"Hey," I finally manage to say to break the silence.

"Hi," is all I get.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

"I was actually just heading out," he says as he steps out of the door frame and closes it behind him.

"Mind if I join?" I sound pathetic trying to get his attention.

"I was just going to the park."

"We could hang out in the tree-like we use to," I sound so hopeful.

"Yeah, sure," why is he being so distant with me? What did I do?

The walk to the park feels like an hour when really it was just 15 minutes. It was a silent walk too which made it feel long, he never even looked at me either. He kept his eyes focused on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets. Once we're at the park we climb up to the top of the tree-like we use to.

"Can you please just talk to me Jude," I say stern, almost like a command?

"What do you want me to say? You left me for Luke."

"What do you mean?" My voice is still very stern.

"When I saw you at the park I thought you were there for me like a good best friend would be–"

"Now wait–" I cut him off, but then he cut me off.

"Don't interrupt me," he sounded cold, "but instead I found you here with him. You guys were talking and then he picked you up and hugged you. You didn't even talk to me that day either, you didn't run after me."

"You can't expect me to run after you all the time, I'm not your servant–"

"I didn't say–" he wasn't about to interrupt me this time.

"Don't cut me off," now I was the mad one, "you have no right to be mad, that was a stupid reason to ignore me for two days and you know it. I did nothing wrong. I didn't know you were at the park, you left in the morning before I even woke up and I had no idea where you went off to. I have been trying to make you feel better but you just won't let me and that is not my fault."

He puts his hand over mine and takes a deep breath before he says, "I know and I'm sorry. I'm just afraid of losing you." He looks me in the eyes and I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

"You really think I'm just gonna leave you? Jude, you should know me by now. We're best friends and that is never going to change." I place my hand on his cheek and move my thumb back and forth.

He lets out a soft laugh, "Good." He has a huge smile on his face. It's good to see his beautiful smile again, I've missed it.

We climb down the tree and walk to the plaza. We talk and make jokes the whole way there, it feels good to have my best friend back. We stop by Chipotle to eat some lunch. I don't know why people don't like it, I mean yeah it is fake Mexican food but I find it pretty good. This is where Jude and I always use to hang out for lunch. We ran into Melissa, she went to the same middle school as us but went to the rival high school. We ask her to hang out with us but she declines. She always use to think Jude and I would make a cute couple.

After we eat we walk over to Tropical Smoothie Cafe, they have the best smoothies I have ever tasted. I get my usual drink as does Jude, and we get a table and just goof around a bit before we get up and leave. We walk to the bowling alley because he has never been bowling before and I wanted to beat him. What a great best friend am I right?

"You're going down," I say with a laugh and he just rolls his eyes.

"We'll see about that."

We grab the balls of our choice, I choose the 7-ounce ball since I'm pretty weak, and he grabs the 9 ounces. The score turns out to be pretty close the whole first round, but in the end, I won and he was pretty upset. He looked cute when he was pouting. Second round he's in the lead for a while, but then I make a strike. He made a strike after me. I made another strike. He made one too. This has to end, I made a strike again, but he did not which puts me in the lead again. I win again and he can't even look at me.

As we leave he gives me a piggyback ride all the way home. We goofed around a little and he almost dropped me twice which was as amusing as he made it to be. It was a great day, probably one of the best so far this year. I would be lying if I didn't say my feelings had grown after today. I kept trying to remember what Luke told me, about him just being vulnerable and needing someone.

He walks me to my door and I turn around to say bye, only to be embraced into a hug. It was a nice and comforting hug, I didn't want to let go of him. I could smell his cologne and it smelled so good, my head was buried into his chest. God, I am short. My hands were around his torso as he was on my shoulder blades. He hated when I hugged under, but I could barely reach when I went over and I felt safer in his arms when I went under. Right now. Right here. At this moment, is where I always want to be.

"I love you, Aly."

"I love you, too."

I pulled back and looked up at him and just stared into his hazel eyes, which were now green because the sun was hitting them perfectly. We both just stood there for a minute, it felt as if he was going to lean down but I released his grip and backed up into the door. I opened the door and walked in.

"I had a good time, I'll see you tomorrow at school," I said as I turned around and closed the door. I wish every day could be like that. It felt so perfect and real.

I walked upstairs to my room and collapsed on my bed. I looked up to my ceiling and just stared at it. All I could think about was Jude. He has this effect on me that he doesn't know. My heart almost skips a beat whenever I see him. I hold my breath sometimes, but we are just friends and that is all he will ever think of me. I want to be with Jude so badly, but I can't. This crush was going to kill me on the inside.