Back when I was in Asia, I used to go to the football field a lot. I would sit by the side and watch young and old men play football.
I joined them occasionally.
One day this guy from X country came up to me and said. ..'What's your secret ?'
'What?'
I said to him confused by his question.
''Do you have Secrets or not ?'
'Everyone has secrets.'
'What's Yours ?'
'It won't be a secret if I tell it to you'
Then he just walked away. Then I wondered if I have any secrets.
I guess I do.
I hated my very exisiance and everyone elses as well. I am mad at everything. If I were a teenager that would have been understandable but I am not.
I bang my head on the wall and on my desk.
I claw at my neck when no one is watching.
I go to the rooftop too often.
I hate boys. But I hate girls even more.
I would like to spill blood one day.
I think of hanging by a rope from a crane on a sky scraper. I want them to burn my corpse up there in the sky after having been declared the witch of the century.
I am slowly becoming a monster.
I am only at peace under water- where I can hear nothing.
I used to be scared of myself until now. ...
But now. ...
I feel nothing.
and. ...
I am about to do. ...something really really stupid and perhaps....horrible.