Listen to your heart

***POV - Melaena

For a while everybody just sits silently, processing what we heard. Hayley got up and disappeared into the kitchen. I’m leaning back against Damion’s chest, his one hand absentmindedly stroking my arm. My nails are digging into the upholstery of the couch.

“Did our father kill our mom?” Jackson asks and I can see that they’re all just as shocked about the story as I am or maybe even more so. I can still remember bits and pieces of my parents, but I would never have thought for a million years that they were gang leaders. Well, I was only 10 when mom died, but still.

“No, your dad has his flaws, but he loved your mother and you more than anything. We’re not sure who killed her, but we suspected that Harry did it out of revenge. It’s also conjectured that he was responsible for the car-bombing.”

“Is our dad still alive?” Logan looks at Uncle John, frowning, his eyes unreadable.

“I’m not sure. After his disappearance, he only called me a few times, but I’ve seen him from afar, standing in the shadows at the important events in your lives like your high-school graduations, your sporting events, movie premiers …” He smiles at me and a sob rips through my body. Damion slides down the backrest, puts his arms around me, and pulls me into his chest, his chin resting on my shoulder as if he wants to protect me from the world.

“He also secretly helped me to get you, hooligans, out of your little predicaments over the years …” He looks at Damion and then at my brothers. “… like the last time you ended up in jail.” I turn my head and frown at Damion.

“What, I was a wild child.”

“WAS?” I blurted out sarcastically and he does that eye-thing with a big smirk on his face. I slap my hands over my face and turn back to see everyone is now looking at us with weird faces.

Hayley walks in with a tray filled with cups of coffee, the cream slowly flowing down the sides. She hands each of us a cup and I hold mine with both hands, feeling the heat radiating through my palms. I think I might just be addicted to coffee – if that’s possible.

“Now, to get back to the messages. I believe that the messages I’m getting are connected to Mel’s stalker. Harry started sending me threatening messages around the same time D came into Mel’s life. Apparently, Harry wants revenge, as well as some money.”

“So, how is D connected to Harry then?” Ilkay asks.

“Harry had a son about the same age as the twins, so I think D might be Harry’s son. He did say that he wants revenge for his father. Maybe the boy fell in love with Mel and is now stalking her.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My mom was murdered by a sick maniac with a crazy son who might be coming after us. And my dad is a gangster who stole money from the fiercest gang leader ever.

“It makes sense.” I’m not sure who said that because I’m preoccupied with thinking about everything going on. My mind is on something much scarier.

“Are they going to kill us?” I feel Damion tense up as soon as the words are out of my mouth.

“NO!” He hisses. “I … eh … we won’t let that happen.” Hayley’s eyes light up and she looks at her son as if she’s seeing him for the first time. So does the rest of the family.

“Can’t we just give them some money and tell them to fuck off. It’s not as if we had anything to do with anything.” This time I know it’s Jackson talking.

“I tried, they do want money, but Harry also wants Garcia and Xander to suffer somehow. I’ve been talking to Garcia, and we’re thinking of a plan. I’ll let you know as soon as it’s finalized. Meanwhile, you have to be careful.”

My phone rings on the sofa next to us, but I don’t even attempt to answer it. Damion picks it up. He looks at the screen and then he answers, his voice harsh.

“Can I help you?”

“She’s busy, can I give her a message?” He doesn’t sound very friendly. He puts the phone down without even saying bye, but that’s the least of my worries.

“Uhm, your boyfriend is looking for you.” I look at him as if he’s suddenly talking in another language.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” But then I realize that he must be talking about Ren.

Damion snorts, his face pulled unpleasantly, “Okay, your ex then.”

“Stupid fucker,” Logan backs him up.

“I just need to get some fresh air.” It feels as if I’m going to faint. My mind is racing and I walk out on the veranda. It’s raining softly but I notice that there is a closed-off area with big sliding glass doors and Damion must have started a fire somewhere before the meeting in the fireplace. It’s very cozy and warm and I sit down on the sofa closest to the fire, folding my feet under my legs. Kiara and Logan join me, but nobody says a word, each one preoccupied with their own personal thoughts. After a while, Uncle John comes to greet us and leaves.

“We’re also going. Damion will take you back. His mom wants to talk to you a bit.” Jackson hugs me from behind and then they all go. The atmosphere is thick almost like a funeral. Hayley comes to sit next to me.

“You know kiddo, it’s just a matter of time before we get him. And having Garcia on our side is a huge advantage. He’s not such a bad person when you get to know him.” She puts her arm around my shoulders and I sniff hard.

“Mel, I know it’s none of my business, but as a mom, I need to know … how do you really feel about my son?”

The question surprises me and for a moment and I stop breathing, staring at the flames. How do I feel? I take a breath and turn my head to look at her.

“He’s a player … “ I say timidly but truthfully. He is her son after all and I know mothers can be very protective of their boys.

“That might be true, BUT maybe it’s just an act because he can’t get what he wants. Mel, Damion hides his true self in the shadows of his past and I’m scared that he’ll get stuck there. Did you know that he has ‘rules’ to keep his life under control?”

“No,” I’m surprised as I’ve never known this about my brother’s best friend. I wonder if Logan knows?

“Ja, neh … maybe I’ve said too much.” She puts a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“Well, to tell you the truth … I’m very confused about my feelings.” I can’t look her in the eye. This is the first time I admit my feelings to anybody.

“Can I give you some advice?” I lean onto her shoulder and nod my head softly.

“When you come to a cross-road in your life, the best thing is to always listen to your heart.” I wait silently for her to explain further.

“Our bodies work on instinct and can’t think. And our minds, well it tends to think a bit too much. But the heart … the heart always knows the true path. So listen to your heart even if it’s not the easiest road.” I smile at her, trying to remember what my mom was like.

I miss her so much, especially at times like this. My mom was beautiful and she had the softest heart, she couldn’t hurt a fly – literally. She would open the window and chase any bug out instead of killing it. Yes, that was my dear, wonderful mother – an angel without wings. Oh, she could be strict, but with 5 kids as wild as us she had to be. A small smile spreads around the corner of my mouth thinking how we were almost always grounded and even double-grounded.

“I have to go, but I want you to know, if you ever need to talk, I’ll be glad to listen.” She gets up and shouts goodbye to Damion before leaving. I just sit there, not really thinking about anything, in particular, just rushing through everything said.

Peep, peep!

D: You belong to me – stay away from HIM.

And just for effect, he adds a photo of Damion and me, feeding Hawk some carrots. It was taken earlier tonight. Another message comes through.

D: Enjoyed the meeting?

Feeling cold and hungry and suddenly a little bit afraid, I get up to look for Damion. I walk as if in a trans up the stairs towards the sound of running water. The door is open and it leads to a huge bedroom. I hear movement and notice another door leading to a bathroom, the door also wide open.

From where I’m glued to the floor I have a full view of the shower and it’s only then that my muffled brain registers what I’m looking at. I close my eyes quickly, but curiosity gets the better of me and I slowly open one eye and peek in the direction of the bathroom. The glass is a bit steamy, but I can clearly make out the large male form moving around. I bite my lip and gaze at that perfect body, rubbing soap all over and everywhere. I turn my head to get a better angle, watching his hand washing and pulling at the protruding flesh hanging between his legs.

I feel a little bit guilty and I unquestionably don’t want to get caught perving but I just can’t move. He turns the shower off and drapes a towel around his waist. Then his eyes look up at me, a surprised expression on his face.