Chapter 6

“I’m not into guys,” I assure him. “We just screwed around, there was nothing else to it. I mean, I had a girlfriend at the time. I date girls. I’m not—”

“Gay, I know.” Ryan sort of swirls his wine glass in one hand, as if telling me to continue. Before I can, he asks, “Wait, so your girlfriend’s okay with you doing what you do?”

Just then, the waiter returns with our appetizer, and I concentrate on spreading antipasto onto the toast to avoid meeting Ryan’s stare across the table. “I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment.”

“Married?” he asks.

I shake my head.

He doesn’t say anything else for a long moment. When I have the piece of toast liberally coated with the tomatoes, I take a bite and look up to find him staring at me again. His eyes are so pale, they make even the most cursory glance seem intense. I feel as if he’s somehow looking throughme into my very soul. See? Nothing gay in here, I want to say, but the bread in my mouth keeps me quiet.