Beijing, Tokyo, Sydney -- these exciting cities are standard fare in the life of flight attendant Todd Eisenbraun, and he chases a romance with sexy-but-straight Josh through them all. Closer to home, a new neighbor in his San Francisco apartment building has a huge crush on Todd. His friends -- Katie, a flight attendant-turned-small appliance repairwoman, and Marzipan Q. Thespian, a man-dangling local philanthropist -- think Todd should at least give Chris a shot. Sure, he’s overweight, but he’s also handsome, a hilarious playwright, and a great cook ... what’s not to love? Todd and Chris become quick friends, but Todd’s idea of the perfect man is skinny and straight, and Chris is decidedly neither. Josh may have a fiancée and a teenaged son, but Todd just knows he’s “the One.” But if Josh is straight, the road to love is not; Todd is jostled by internalized homophobia, body image issues, exotic locales, the glamorous world of sewing machine repair, and a community theater musical salute to the life of Judy Garland before he arrives at the realization that he’s been looking way too hard for something he may have already found.

Kiss Me, Straight

“Didn’t she launch her career in that movie about that picnic?”


“You’re thinking of The Last Picture Show,” he told me. “You feel like Kim Novak.”


“Kim Novak was in Picnic. With William Holden.”


“Right. That is of course what I meant. I feel like Kim Novocain.”


“Oh, groan!” he rolled his eyes. “I’m going to need Novocain in a minute. Your lack of movie knowledge is giving me a pain.”


We laughed. He stood over the table, showing no sign of hurrying back to the kitchen, so I sat there smiling up at him, studiously avoiding gaping at his huge, heaving belly. When I had gone a long moment without saying anything and without starting on my dinner, he finally prompted me to at least take a bite. “Well, aren’t you going to taste it?” he asked.


Chapter 15