Beijing, Tokyo, Sydney -- these exciting cities are standard fare in the life of flight attendant Todd Eisenbraun, and he chases a romance with sexy-but-straight Josh through them all. Closer to home, a new neighbor in his San Francisco apartment building has a huge crush on Todd. His friends -- Katie, a flight attendant-turned-small appliance repairwoman, and Marzipan Q. Thespian, a man-dangling local philanthropist -- think Todd should at least give Chris a shot. Sure, he’s overweight, but he’s also handsome, a hilarious playwright, and a great cook ... what’s not to love? Todd and Chris become quick friends, but Todd’s idea of the perfect man is skinny and straight, and Chris is decidedly neither. Josh may have a fiancée and a teenaged son, but Todd just knows he’s “the One.” But if Josh is straight, the road to love is not; Todd is jostled by internalized homophobia, body image issues, exotic locales, the glamorous world of sewing machine repair, and a community theater musical salute to the life of Judy Garland before he arrives at the realization that he’s been looking way too hard for something he may have already found.

Kiss Me, Straight

“And you’re going to change that?” asked Marzipan, swirling her tea leaves in her cup and getting up to serve herself from the kettle.


Marzipan looked at Katie for support, but Katie simply rolled her eyes ceilingward and shook her head. “Don’t bother with him, Marzipan. He’s too set in his ways to give himself to a real relationship. That’s the attraction to straight guys, I think. The whole relationship happens in his head, so he can come and go as he pleases.”


“That’s not true!” I challenged. “I am dying for a relationship, I would love to have a boyfriend, I complain about it all the time,” I offered, as if that were evidence of emotional maturity. “I can’t help who I’m attracted to! I’m not going to go out with some fat kid just because he’s gay and in the neighborhood.”


Chapter 19