Chapter 2

Day after day, night after night, and drunken

weekend after drunken weekend, I became more enchanted, spending

virtually every day with him. And, as you might imagine, on one of

those weekends, I came out to him. He, of course, was amazing. He

told me it was great, but that I needed a serious make-over. Then

the next day, he took me out shopping and dressed me like a model.

After that, he even made me go to a few gay bars.

The problem was, that like many gay men who

have extremely gorgeous straight best friends who they drink with

in college, we occasionally crossed the line between friends and

lovers. Well, we actually just spent a fantastic amount of time

teetering on the edge. As a matter of fact, we spent so much time

teetering on the edge, that one night I told Logan that I was done,

and that night, I tried to walk away, but Logan chased me down and

promised that we would stay off the edge and just be friends.

We did a great job with the friend thing. He

dated hot chicks. I dated hot guys. Of course, we weren’t really

interested in them, and those relationships didn’t last, but Logan

and I managed to keep our relationship strictly friendly. At least

until the night we found out that his mother died. I held him that

night, and he held onto me like someone lost, weeping and sobbing.

It was that night that I realized that I loved him no matter what.

I realized that no matter how hard it was for me, I wasn’t ever

going to let him go, even if all he could ever offer me was

friendship.

Logan made it through his mother’s death, and

I stayed around, still holding him when needed. After graduation,

we both decided to take a year and get ready for life, so we headed

back to our homes in northern Florida. At his rather cool father’s

behest, Logan was going to write. I took the year to study for the

MCAT, and do a little volunteering at a local hospital. We both

knew what we wanted, and we spent some portion of almost every day

together.

It was going rather smoothly until Logan

showed up one day at my place furious with his father. Unbeknownst

to Logan, Robert White had taken some of Logan’s stories and other

papers and filled out an application for Logan for Suncoast

University’s master’s program in writing. The cool thing was that

Logan was accepted. The not so cool part was that he would be

moving to southern Florida.

After I told Logan that he should go, he

barely spoke to me. He wasn’t just angry at his father then; he was

pissed as hell at me. I understood why he was angry with his

father. You see, Logan’s father wasn’t just pushing his will on

Logan, who he thought was a talented writer in need of guidance;

Robert White was also pushing his will on his other son, Sam.

Robert was sending Logan to Suncoast not just because of their

writing program, but also because he wanted Logan to check up on

Sam. Logan had agreed to go for a short time, but he didn’t plan on

living there indefinitely. Logan was incensed about that because

Sam had never done anything wrong. Well, at least until he had gone

off to Suncoast’s law school. At Suncoast Law, Sam met two hot male

twins and ended up moving in with them in what Robert White calls

“a long term ménage a trois.” I think they just call it polyamory.

What I didn’t understand at first, was why Logan was mad at me.

Logan isn’t exactly subtle though, so it

didn’t take too long for me to figure it out. Although he didn’t

admit it, Logan felt like I was pushing him away. The weird thing

was that maybe I was. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for him. God

knows the time I spent with him every day was the highlight of my

life. What wasn’t good was that I think it was the highlight of his

life also. He was spending all of his free time with me. He wasn’t

writing much, and he wasn’t dating. I pictured us just being

together for years, and him finally giving into my wishes just

because I was around, and because on a friend level, he loved me

more than anyone. I saw this image of us at forty. I was sitting on

the couch holding him with a contented look on my face, and he was

staring into space wondering what else might have been out there

for him. If Logan were going to be with me, I wanted it to be

because it was the one thing he wanted most in the world. That’s

why I encouraged him to go to Suncoast.