After a decade together, death took Daniel’s lover away in an instant. A year of grieving kept him from thinking about the future. But now fearing loneliness, fearing aging and its effects, he’s ready to find someone new before it’s too late. Filled with good intentions, Daniel joins a gym. He plans to work hard to keep what time is all too quickly taking away from him. But are good intentions enough against the many distractions and temptations of life? Is he really prepared to make the sacrifices required? Meeting gym owner Chris may be the extra boost his motivation needs -- if only he could figure out why Chris keeps blowing hot and cold on him. Death claimed Chris’s lover too, but took much longer about it. The memory of watching the man he loved suffer has left Chris terrified of getting close to anyone again. He likes Daniel a lot, but there’s a problem and Chris can’t fix it, only Daniel can. If he’s serious about being with Chris. It’s a straightforward ultimatum. Daniel smokes and Chris will not date a smoker. Daniel has a choice. It’s Chris or the cigarettes. Daniel has to prove to Chris that he’s ready to make changes and he’s not all mouth. But can he do it? Are the sacrifices he’ll have to make worth it? Should he even be changing himself to suit a man who’s made him no promises and who might still back off later? Chris has to learn to accept Daniel’s imperfections and mortality. Only once he gets past the grief and fear can he take a risk on loving Daniel, even knowing he could be hurt again. Daniel takes on the biggest physical challenge he’s ever faced to prove he’s serious about Chris. But in the end, he has to decide if he wants to make the changes for himself and his own future, whether Chris is part of that or not.

Smoke In My Eyes

Chris waited, patiently, one of his hands wrapped around my cock, stroking slowly, soothing. That helped me relax and work through the pain, the stretch. And then it was good, so good, to be filled that way again. Then I could only see Chris.


I woke up as Bill got off the bed. Fuck, no, not Bill. I woke up all the way, shaking off memories, dreams. Chris. Chris was getting off the bed. In the darkness he was a big, darker shape. I fumbled for the lamp and he snapped his head around as the light came on.


“I’m sorry,” he said “I didn’t mean to wake you.”


I glanced at the bedside clock as I sat up. Just after three. Looking back at Chris I saw him pick up the trousers he’d tossed to the floor last night. Damn. I guess that meant he wasn’t just heading to the toilet.


“You can stay if you want,” I said. Trying not to sound like I was begging him to stay, so I could wake beside him, eat breakfast with him. Not be alone in my bed in the morning.


Chapter 11