James Rockton is ready to die. In fact, he plans on it. Having lost his life partner to AIDS, he books the South Pacific cruise Richard didn't live to share. James will spread Richard's ashes at sea, and then slip overboard to join him forever. He’s too old and too heartbroken to continue on alone.<br><br>But James doesn’t count on meeting a young man whose parents constantly put him down. Then there’s the obviously gay young art dealer who ogles a crazy young photographer traveling with an older gay man about James’s own age.<br><br>James and Herb begin spending time together, trying not to laugh too hard or get too involved with these young men, who circle each other in rapidly shrinking orbits. After all, James and Herb are old, with gray hair and less stamina. With time, talk, and martinis, will love manage to find them, too?

Fade to Gray

Eric fussed over Herb as if they were married, and I felt a twinge of jealousy starting to rise. I went back my cabin and showered, leaving my clothes in a heap in the bathtub. I even kicked the bathmat for good measure. Then I dug into the mini bar and sat down.


The captain came on, explaining, “Just a small water break, will be immediately fixed, blah blah blah, nobody was injured,” (oh, really…), “please continue on with your day and have a wonderful evening.”


And then a knock on my door. Hoping it was Herb, I hollered come in.


It was Savin. “Ohmigosh!” he shouted cheerfully, his cheeks rosy. “Guess what happened!”


I gave him a glass with gin and water in it. Fuck it. It’s not like he was a virgin anymore.


Chapter 20