James Rockton is ready to die. In fact, he plans on it. Having lost his life partner to AIDS, he books the South Pacific cruise Richard didn't live to share. James will spread Richard's ashes at sea, and then slip overboard to join him forever. He’s too old and too heartbroken to continue on alone.<br><br>But James doesn’t count on meeting a young man whose parents constantly put him down. Then there’s the obviously gay young art dealer who ogles a crazy young photographer traveling with an older gay man about James’s own age.<br><br>James and Herb begin spending time together, trying not to laugh too hard or get too involved with these young men, who circle each other in rapidly shrinking orbits. After all, James and Herb are old, with gray hair and less stamina. With time, talk, and martinis, will love manage to find them, too?

Fade to Gray

Gone were all the people, gone the colored reflections on the waves heading down the aisles, and even the music fizzled and dripped to a wet, splooshy, unmerciful, finish.


We sat there stunned, clinging to each other, glad we were on the balcony, wondering what in God’s name had happened, wondering if we were going to be all right.


Into the silence that followed, I said, “I’m going to write a book about this. It’ll have to be called fiction, though, because nobody would ever believe it.”


Herb replied, “Dedicate it to that drummer up there, Matt, or that what’s his name art guy, David? Devon? Dane? Yeah. To Matt and Dane, for giving me ideas.”


Sometimes, laughing in the darkness is the best thing you can do. Although, sometimes kissing is even better.


Chapter 19