James Rockton is ready to die. In fact, he plans on it. Having lost his life partner to AIDS, he books the South Pacific cruise Richard didn't live to share. James will spread Richard's ashes at sea, and then slip overboard to join him forever. He’s too old and too heartbroken to continue on alone.<br><br>But James doesn’t count on meeting a young man whose parents constantly put him down. Then there’s the obviously gay young art dealer who ogles a crazy young photographer traveling with an older gay man about James’s own age.<br><br>James and Herb begin spending time together, trying not to laugh too hard or get too involved with these young men, who circle each other in rapidly shrinking orbits. After all, James and Herb are old, with gray hair and less stamina. With time, talk, and martinis, will love manage to find them, too?

Fade to Gray

“Ever since then, I’ve had a delicate stomach.


“This is me when I eat alone, like here, before I met you. ‘I’ll have one piece of French toast and two pieces of bacon, please,’ sez I to the Filipino server. My plate eventually comes to me with two pieces of undercooked French toast, nine pieces of soggy, greasy bacon, and a pile of scrambled eggs that would suit a body builder. These are from a mix.


“Believe it or not, I’m shy and don’t speak Filipino, so I quietly go to the farthest corner of the room, find a seat with my back to the wall, and sit down. Because of language difficulty, I am given a glass of grapefruit juice and a cup of coffee. All I can tolerate is water and not even that sometimes.”


Herb looked at me and nodded thoughtfully.


Chapter 27