Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

Jim slid along the wall to put distance between them. “I made a cool, green salad, too. It’s in the refrigerator.” He hated being afraid. His stomach gurgled and his heart raced. He clenched his jaw to keep it from shaking and trembling.


“Turn the broiler off. It’s heating the whole house.”


“When the burgers are cooked. It’s our dinner and I’m not wasting the meat.”


Mom stood silently and caught her lower lip in her teeth, looking anywhere but at Jim. Once, just once, couldn’t she defend him?


George, in his spiffy military crew cut though never having served, wagged the finger closer to Jim’s nose. “Look, you little fuck—”


Jim tensed his abdominal muscles, and the next moment, George landed a fist into his gut, followed by a punch to the face that Jim sort of blocked. Jim was used to the abuse, but he bent over moaning.


Chapter 5