Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

To Jim, no matter what Brian did, he looked sexy. “We’re just built different. You’re smarter than me. You breezed through school and I struggled to get ‘Ds.’”


“But we’re graduates now. You’re going to community college in September, right?”


“I barely have the money for one year.” Jim had worked up a sweat and felt stronger just from listening to Brian playing guitar. When Jim took the instrument from Brian and strummed, not knowing what the hell he was doing, Brian tried to use the same dumbbells as Jim had used, but soon switched to lighter ones. Jim played stupid, nonsensical notes before returning to the workout.


Chapter 14