Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

The yard needed trimming, and Brian thought Jim could make the place shine. It suffered from overgrown vines and bushes, an anemic lawn, and plants that seemed out of place. Jim was there with everyone else but Lou and Marsha.


Cindy asked Brian about some stupid school stuff, then faced him and stole a kiss. She giggled, pulled back, and leaned in again, but when Brian didn’t do the same, she turned her head into his shoulder. Automatically Brian put a hand on her back as he caught Jim’s gaze. The others watched.


“I’m sorry, Cindy, I’m not real experienced.”


“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come over. I just, well—”


His dad’s words came to him about not being ashamed of who or what he was. “Cindy, you’re really cool and I respect you.” A long, awkward silence followed. “It’s just that, I’m not into girls.”


She gasped. “I heard rumors but didn’t believe them. Well, then isn’t Jim the same way? You two are close.”


Chapter 32