Chapter 15

Sandy sits up with the speed of Superman. “Jesus Christ, he’s trying to fuck me!”

“Calm down. Just calm down.” Jonah laughs. “He can’t help it that he likes you.” He calls out the dog’s name and removes the horny canine from the bed. He carries the still-thrusting and big-eyed dog into the hallway, places him down, and escapes back to the bedroom. Once inside, with the door closed, he hauls his piece of luggage in front of the door, hoping it will deter Hornfuzz from a second invasion and attack.

“That little fucker needs a girlfriend or boyfriend,” Sandy says from the bed. He has the edge of the bedspread pulled up to his neck. “He was going to rape me.”

“It’s an eight-pound miniature poodle, Sandy. I’m sure you were fine.”

“I feel dirty. I feel violated. I feel—”

“Are you done with the dramatics?” Jonah asks, standing at the edge of the bed.

Sandy shakes his head. “His pink pecker wanted all over me. Everywhere. You’d feel dirty, too, if he attacked you.”