Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

“Well, I’m not sure what to make of all this, Derek.” Johan’s eyes shone, too. “I don’t understand. I would think you’d know better. I’m real disappointed in you boys.” It was the way he said those words. He wasn’t yelling, but I think I would have preferred he did. He simply shook his head and sighed. “You know, Boone needs some tests done now. Doc says he might have some brain damage. Brain damage, Derek, do you understand what that means?”


From the bed, Boone whined, “Dad, Red didn’t know what I was—”


“Not a word from you. Understood? I don’t wanna hear it, Boone. You put your mother through hell this afternoon. You lay down like the doctor said, and you be quiet now.”


Boone glanced over at me, and my gaze quickly darted down to the dirty floor. I couldn’t look into his eyes. I don’t think I can look into his eyes ever again.


Chapter 10